For Mothers Who Have Used Quot Baby Wise Quot And Quot Baby Whisperer Quot

28 Replies
Jenn2 - July 8

Who out there has read the two books..."Baby Wise" and the book by The Baby Whisperer? If you used these techniques.....did they actually work with creating a baby that has a fairly regular routine and good sleeping patterns?? My little girl is just over 3 weeks right now, and I am starting to try and use these methods. They both say to feed a baby under 4 months every 2.5 to 3 hours.....and to get them on a routine where they ...wake, feed and diaper change, play/awake time, then back down for a nap. Their naps shoud be appx. 1.5 hours and their wake time should slowly increase the older they get. This is supposed to help baby to sleep through the night sooner, and make daytime easier on the mom b/c baby (eventually) knows the routine. I have read so much conflicting advice on these types of things vs. demand feeding and everything else. I get so confused sometimes b/c I do not want to create any bad habbits that are hard for my baby to outgrow. Also, I find it VERY hard to follow these routines on a daily basis b/c my little girl is REALLY hard to get down for a nap, so it throws the whole routine off alot. I just want to hear from other women who have used these techniquies.....and how they worked for your baby??? Also mention when you started using the method, and how long it took to take effect?

 

hrsmith - July 8

Hi Jenn2. I haven't read through all of baby wise, but I have read, "healthy sleep habbits, happy child and Happiest baby on the block." both of these books talk about the same routines. I have followed the 2 hour magical time clock since he was 3-4 months old. My son is 8 months and still is usually awake for only a 2 hour period of time. There are definitely times when he naps less, or sometimes he is up for 2.5 to 3 hour span. In short, he takes 3 naps a day, 2 of them are at least an hour to 2 hours, that last nap, is usually a cat nap and now he sometimes skips that one, but I still put him to bed between 7:30 and 8:00. He sleeps through the night. sometimes he wakes up and fusses for a second but it is only because he is trying to find his pacifier. he is up around 6:15 every morning. I feed him a bottle and we play until 8:30. he then naps for sometimes 2 hrs. he wakes at 10:30 and i feed him a bottle and some fruit. we play until 12:30 or 1:00 and then we continue the routine. I know every child is different, so i don't know if it will work for you, but it has been magic for me so far. good luck. hope i didn't ramble too much

 

carmendanielle - July 8

Hi Jenn2, I am using the babywise system and have been right from the first few weeks. My dd is now 14 weeks. I am finding that it works great as long as there are no special circ_mstances.~ From weeks 3-8 my dd had digestion trouble and so the system did not work too well at all. However, I tried my best to keep her on it, and now it is working brilliantly. I started her on a 3 hour routine, and now it is more like every 3.5 hours. She sleeps usually 8 hours at night and even went 10 hours once! The nap thing is tricky. I finally had to just let her cry it out and now she does very well with naps. What I really like about it is that you know what she needs when`~just because the routine is so predictable. Hope this helps! If you have any other questions, just let me know!

 

SonyaM - July 8

Hi Jenn2, congratulations on your little girl. I have two boys, one age 4 and one age 9 months. With my first son we did not do any method other than go with the flow. I didn't know any different so I just did what worked and delt with the consequences later. That ended up being a baby who could not go to sleep without a bottle and being rocked and rocked and rocked to sleep. Even then when we would try to lay him down he would wake right up. We tried letting him sleep with us, tried crying it out, nothing really worked. Eventually when he was almost three we did the supernanny technique and got him to go to sleep by himself. This is not the ideal situation. So with baby number two we were quite determined to do things differently. We did the Baby Whisperer techniques and I was AMAZED how well it worked. I started when he was about 4-6 weeks old. He is now nine months old and is great in so many ways. His typical routine is pretty predictiable. He may not wake up at the same time every day but after he wakes up it is very predictiable. He has a bottle shortly after he wakes, then has breakfast, then plays. After being awake about 2 hours he goes down for a short nap. Usually about 30 minutes to one hour. Then shortly after he gets up from that nap, bottle again, then lunch then more playtime. Then after about another two hours of being awake he goes down again for a longer nap. Usually 1-2 hours. Then up again, bottle, play time etc. Usually has another short 30 minute nap two hours after he last work up and bottle and dinner in there somwhere. Then play time, bath, bottle bed. He is layed in his crib alone with the same music playing with one small safe stuffed animal "friend". He goes to sleep within a few minutes most every time. He does still cry but I think that is more from seperation axiety than anything else. He is sleeping about 12 hours at night. Usually about 7:30p.m.-7:30a.m. I have leanred that if he is not hungry, not dirty and isn't hurting and he is fussing- he's tired. So he's a pretty easy baby. Sorry this is so long but I wanted to thoroughly answer your question. Good luck.

 

ash2 - July 8

hey jenn2. honestly i tried the "routine pattern thing with my first child, and probally like you want to to the "perfect thing" and the "right way" with your little one. just from expirience, dont stress too much about the routine thing because every baby is different. most babies do not eat only every 3 hours. some babies eat more , some less. my two sons were completly different with their feeding patterens as well as sleep. and my now 3 year old is on a perfectly good schedule and with no prob going to bed. i tried the routine thing with him for maybe 3 days and i was so fed up with the way it was going, i quit.and what happens if they fall asleep during their " routine" you dont want to wake them up out of a perfectly good sleep to feed. and what if you do something during the day that you normally wouldnt? like making a trip to grandmas. it still will throw thier routine off and you would have to start all over because they could fall asleep in the car. also, a little piece of advice, babies communicate through crying. they will tell you when thier sleepy, hungry, or needing a diaper change, and on and on. sometimes you may want to feed them to keep them on schedule and they simply just want t sleep or play. all i am saying is dont stress tooooo much over this. just have fun with them and they will be on regular " patterns " as they progress in age. it took mine no time. however i do reccomend stayin on somewhat of a routine with naps. that is almost crucial. i just dont see making a "specific time" to play with my little one. if you feel you want to play, then you should:) good luck hon...... you will do fine !

 

ryanslilmama - July 9

I have ready all the books the other ladies have mentions- Babywise, Baby Whisperer, Happiest Baby on the Block, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I used a mix of all of them with my son who is 6 months old now. From the very beginning I did the sleep, eat, wake schedule (but I was a bit more lax on the timing). I didn't let Ryan cry anything out at that point. Its hard to remember how things actually went at that point- but what really worked was at 4 months once we started the rice cereal we transitioned Ryan to the crib in his room and let him cry it out that night when he awakened- that night was not as bad as I expected but the next night he slept through until 6 am. He now sleeps 730-645 almost every night! It is amazing. So in the begininng try not to worry about the clock so much- it will normalize with time and you will find that she wakes at the same times each day and night- so let her find her own rhythym. But definately stick with the sleep, eat, wake- it really helps them feel secure- and know what comes next. My son from about 6 weeks really only cried when he was tired, I would try to feed him or stimulate him and all he needed was to sleep- so now I know! For him, a well rested baby is a happy, fun, easy baby. It will get easier- and you will sleep- eventually.

 

Bonnie - July 9

I read baby Wise. I did it to a point. I did let Mason CIO but not until 9 weeks and even then it was because he was large, ate 32 ounces and teh doc recommended it. Before that I stayed pretty flexable and followed his cues. I do think they learn from the beginning though so the one thing I really did do was feed him after he woke up and made sure to put him down to sleep while he was awake. I think it teaches them to learn how to go to sleep and they don;t wake up later wondering where they are and how they got there.

 

Christy - July 9

I received "Baby Wise" as a gift and didn't like it as well as "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." The author who wrote baby Wise got into some trouble with a previous edition because he advocated scheduled feedings to a point where people who were following his book ended up with babies in the ER with dehydration. The AAP had issued a warning against using his methods. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0971453209/103-4448937-7159011?v=glance&n=283155 (read the second review- dashes should remain between 103-4448937 and 4448937-7159001) Another cautionary review on Baby Center can be found at: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/9108.html (no dashes.) He has (obviously) changed that, but the man is not a doctor nor does he work with children professionally. He does not give very good suggestions on how to implement his tactics. That is why I got the "Healthy Sleep Habits. . ." book.

 

Christy - July 9

Anyway, I understand the desire to have your baby on a schedule ASAP, but at three weeks, it really isn't very realistic to expect that of your baby. As your dd's digestive and nervous systems mature, she will start falling into a routine on her own. You can help it by trying to get her to sleep before two hours of wakefulness, having a good soothing-to-sleep strategy, and implementing a good bedtime routine at night. At some point (around 3-6 months) she will start to fall into a pattern on her own. You are there to facilitate it and to not let her get off track. My ds had a really tough time falling into his routine because of colic and GER, but it happened. He is 8 months old and has been sleeping through the night ( with a few exceptions due to illness, etc) since 3.5 months. He goes to bed around 7:45 PM and wakes around 6 AM. He takes a nap at 9 AM and another one at 1 PM. He is still b___stfeeding and takes two solid meals a day (he started solids more or less around 4 months.) I used the techniques given in "Healthy Sleep habits, Happy Child." Don't get me wrong. It is fine to try to get your dd into a routine now, but don't be upset if she doesn't follow your lead yet. And no matter what any of these books say, I am on the strong opinion that you should not wake a sleeping baby unless you absolutely have to, and do not force a tired child to stay up because they will become overtired and have an even more difficult time going to sleep. Also, if your dd has colic (my ds did), getting her to fall asleep is going to be 10-100 times harder to do, so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen. Anyway, I hope your baby has an easy temperament and that this routine business is smooth sailing for you guys. Good luck!

 

Christy - July 9

OH! And another thing- don't worry about developing bad habits at this age. You can't. I was terrified that my son would only take his PM nap in the carseat forever and dreaded the day that he would outgrow his infant carrier. Well, around 6-7 months, I worked on getting him over to the crib, and by 7 months, he slept in the crib for all naps and at night. I also used to nurse him to sleep. After a while, he would not fall asleep from nursing, so I would just put him in the crib awake. He would cry for a bit (sometimes 2 minutes, sometimes 25 minutes, sometimes never) and then zonk out. He rarely cries when he goes down now. It just took time. As long as you are aware of some of the less-than-desirable techniques you use to get your dd to sleep, and work on getting her out of them between 5 and 7 months, I think you will be okay. That is just my opinion, though. :)

 

Mommy - July 9

I found this on another website and just thought I'd post it. I'm not sure how true it is, though. "Okay I know this is long but here are several excerpts about Babywise Having survived nearly a decade of controversy surrounding his childcare advice, self-proclaimed parenting expert Gary Ezzo has nearly lost his publisher. Multnomah, the Christian publisher that created the surprise bestseller, The Prayer of Jabez, told Ezzo, coauthor of On Becoming Babywise, it wanted to sever relations. In the aftermath, Ezzo's editor resigned.In February, Multnomah commissioned editor Jeff Gerke to investigate long-standing allegations by parents, physicians, and church leaders that the book's advice to parents puts infants at risk of poor development. Gerke, who joined Multnomah's staff after Babywise had been published, edited several of Ezzo's other parenting books. Gerke concluded that Ezzo's materials were dangerous, based on his interviews with former Ezzo employees and medical professionals. A major focus of Babywise is to get infants to sleep all night as soon as possible. But some pediatricians, when comparing newborns whose parents use Ezzo's guidelines to other infants, have noted a higher incidence of inadequate weight gain, dehydration, and failure to thrive. Critics also sharply question other Babywise emphases, such as introducing a form of spanking in children younger than 2 (CT, Nov. 13, 2000, p. 70). Two Babywise companion books describe coauthor Robert Bucknam as a faculty member at the University of Colorado's Medical School. Yet three sources at the medical school verified that Bucknam has never been employed as a faculty member there. Furthermore, when Bucknam became coauthor of Babywise in 1993, he had been in practice as a pediatrician for less than a year and was first introduced to Ezzo's methods while attending a local course for new parents. Yet Babywise says that it provides a "needed reformation to pediatric counsel." Also, Multnomah has described Ezzo as having an M.A. in Christian education, although the author holds no such degree. Bucknam is a pediatrician, but Ezzo is not medically trained. He is often referred to as a Christian minister, yet he lacks formal theological training, has not been ordained, and has never had his own congregation Ezzo's method is based on a highly structured feed / wake / sleep routine. It's a 24-hour infant management program he calls parent-directed feeding, or PDF. This means that you, not your baby, decide when he eats, sleeps, and wakes. Ezzo sets out strict hourly, daily, and weekly feeding schedules that he says will teach your infant to sleep through the night by eight weeks if you follow them faithfully. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has issued a media alert reaffirming its position that scheduled feedings may put babies at risk for poor weight gain and dehydration and that all babies be fed on demand. "Parent-Directed Feedings" -- Apparently, in Gary Ezzo's world, babies are smart enough to manipulate parents from birth, yet too stupid to figure out when they're hungry. Physical Punishment -- This includes spanking with rubber/wooden implements! "Playpen Time" -- This entails leaving infants alone in a playpen for two periods per day (up to an hour each!), even if they cry the entire time, to promote independence, orderliness, etc. (in an INFANT?!?) "Highchair Manners" -- Among other things, Baby sits in the highchair with his hands at his sides. He is fed ONLY by an adult. If he attempts to touch his food, he is physically punished. By the way, b__wing "raspberries," a universal and beneficial activity among infants, is considered an "offense" and a "violation" by Gary Ezzo. Potty Training -- When a toddler has what most would call an accident (apparently, Ezzo thinks it's willfull and manipulative), he is humiliated and forced to clean the mess up by himself."

 

angelbebe - July 9

Hi Jenn-I have read both books and am following the Baby Whisperer more. Paia is almost 6 weeks and she is just now starting to fall into a bit more of a predictable pattern. It doesn't come over night. Just keep working at it. Every baby is different, but it's a nice guide to follow in my opinion. I hear you about all the information though!! I mean, you could drive yourself crazy with all the advice out there. It almost gives you no room for your own intuition.

 

danikell - July 12

Hi Jenn, I have read Babywise and have a book called "Save our Sleep" which is by Tizzie Hall (I think she is the Babywhisperer). A routine is great, but you have to take everything with a grain of salt I believe. My daughter is 7 weeks old and her pattern was eat every 4 hours and still is. When I pop her to sleep I let her sleep until the next feed, which is usually longer than 1.5 hrs. I tried the 3 hourly routine with expressing and it nearly killed me. My b___bs where exploding with milk and she did not want to feed so often so I was really frustrating. Remember that you cannot spoil a newborn and bad habbits cannot be established so early in life. If it is hard to get her down for a nap maybe pop her in the pram and go for a little walk. Leave her in it outside for a sleep or get an electric swing. They love it and it puts them to sleep. I now use a 6-8 weeks routine which works great because it fits with the 4 hourly feeds she was on from day one. But we cannot get her down for the "7 o'clock bus". Every night she cries in her bed and we were at our wits end, til we realised that is just her awake time and no settling technique will convince her to go to sleep. As soon as we get her out of her bed she stops crying and has another feed at about 9.30 pm and then sleeps through the night until 7am, so it is actually wonderfull. The early Child Care nurse also told me that if she self settles for one sleep a day in her bed that is great for her age. Up to 3 months is seem to be very trial and error so do not stress about a routine too too much, because if you stress so will your baby. I now enjoy my little one and if she wants to fall asleep on my tummy who cares. They are only out the womb just yet and we already expect to be perfect.

 

Jamie - July 12

Babywise is one of the most disgusting books ever published. It is borderline child abuse. I cannot believe that parents are willing to treat their children like that. I get physically ill every time I hear that book mentioned in a positive context...how could anyone do that to their own kids????

 

Bonnie - July 12

I must have had a different version of BabyWise, I wish I knew when that one was published. All I hear is baout hor it is so schedule-strict that babies were going to the hospital dehydrated. The one that I read discussed the importance of schedules but made it very clear that you would need to be somewhat flexable and not take it to the extreme. Personally, it made a lot of sense to me. I have not necessarily gone by any book but have gone with what both of Mason's doctor's had us do. But I was just curious about the negative publicity on BabyWise. Did he re-write or or can people not read?

 

Christy - July 12

Bonnie- I think I read thre same version that you did. It is the most recent edition and from what I can tell, it is very toned done from the original, which I haven't read.. The previous edition was very questionable in its practices and the AAP came out with an advisory against following the book .

 

Christy - July 12

I meant to say "toned down," not "toned done" above. Sorry. :)

 

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