How Far Apart Are Your Children

19 Replies
Kiersten - May 5

My ds will be 5 months old this Wednesday. Before now I was just too exhausted to even THINK about another baby for a while, but ds is at such a fun age. He's sleeping through the night, taking good naps, eats great, is very happy and is the joy of my life. Lately I've been having thoughts of what it'd be like to have another baby. For you ladies with more than one child, how spaced out are they? I don't even think I'm Oing right now, although I'm temping to try and find out. Am I nuts for wanting another baby now? :) Is it really hard to have them close?

 

meg - May 5

I'm currently 33 weeks pg, & my ds is 19 months, they will be about 21 months apart. I would have liked them to have been a little closer (only by a month or two though), but I think this is going to be great! He can feed himself, we're working on potty training, he's a very content little boy, so I think the timing, for us, is perfect. I know that when my ds was 5 months I absolutely was not ready to have another one! I wanted to enjoy my time with just him for awhile. I know some people that wait like 4 years, & others that only wait 3 months...it's really up to you!

 

Kiersten - May 5

Thanks MEG. I know...I'm torn between wanting him to have all my attention and wanting another. It really just hit me all of a sudden I guess...Dh is totally on board and is ready for another whenever it happens, so I'm thankful I don't have to worry about that. Congrats on your new lo!!

 

Buffi R. - May 5

I have a son who'll be six in September and my daughter is five months old. DH & I never meant to have our kids that far apart in age, but we had some major medical problems with our son from birth (he's OK now except for being hearing impaired). Right around the time we were ready to brave the world of babies again, I had infertility and it took us about nine months to concieve. They're just over five years apart in age. Pros: my son is very self-sufficient and old enough to be able to help with DD (and he loves to!). Cons: they'll never go to school together and I'm nervous about finding activities they both like some day. Right now, DD is too young to care, but that'll change.

 

RMC - May 5

My kids are 10 /7 9 (12 months, 22 days apart), 7 (16 months younger than the 9 year old), 15 months and 2 weeks. I planned my last 2 close together since the other 3 are so much older, but it is very hard and tiring. I must have had more energy at 20 with the first 3 (:

 

margie - May 5

well anjelica is almost the same age as you son, she'll be 5 months on sunday. i know how you feel because i have visions of being pregnant again and holding another little newborn. my criteria are though is that 1.) I lose all the weight i gained with this pregnancy first 2.) Anjelica will be potty trained and eating herself by the time the baby is born 3.) Figure out our finances so that I am positive we can afford another little one (I wasn't able to b___stfeed this time around and the formula is expensive!) We currently have a one income family but barely....I work and dh stays home because he wasn't making as much as me and I'm just not ready to send my babies to daycare until they can talk and tell me if anything was going wrong with her caretakers or other children. I guess you have to think of your "criteria" and then evaluate if you're at a place that you can handle it. Good luck!

 

mjvdec01 - May 5

I have a 27 month old and am currently pregnant. Our kids will be 29 months apart.

 

Meval - May 5

I have two girls. My oldest daughter will be 10 on November 16 and my youngest will be 6 months old in 3 weeks. The reason we waited long was to get more settled with our finances. My first pregnancy was a surprise and well we were very young. Both 20. Now that we have both girls, I can honestly say that this age span really works well for our family. My oldest daughter had me completely to herself for 9 yrs. I have the advantage of experiencing different stages with both girls. With my oldest, sharing and getting to help her in becoming a young lady. WIth my newborn I have the chance to reexperience babyhood with more ease and stability. My oldest got to see and enjoy my pregnancy with me. She has been such a little mommy to her little sis. In about 8 years she will head off to college but I will have my little one still at home. =)

 

Kiersten - May 5

Thank you all for your input! Dh and I want a big family, so it's not a HUGE deal when we have them, but it was a whole lot easier to say that it'd be fun to have them close in age growing up BEFORE I had my son. :) Don't get me wrong, he's a blast, but mothering is a lot of work and it makes me a little tired just thinking about more right now. I always said I wanted our kids to be close in age but I just keep thinking of the "what ifs". What if, for some reason, I have to be on strict bed rest? With a 5/6 month old?! I was exhausted when I was pregnant; would I be too tired to give my son the attention he needs and deserves? Dh and I struggle to find time for just the two of us; when would that happen with two babies in the house? We're on a one income as well; would Dh be completely stressed about taking care of us? Babies cost a lot. I'm thankful, MARGIE that I am able to nurse. I've seen those cans of formula and wince every time at the price! I see your reasoning for your criteria. I know these things aren't often a big deal and that you learn to manage...guess I'm just mulling things over. I think it really hit me when I got some news that my friends were expecting. The new excitement of it all; preparations and telling people. I had JUST finished cleaning out his dresser of the things he can't wear anymore (seemed like a whole lot!) and it was kind of sad packing away those tiny things. I love that he's growing and he's so much fun...he's just getting big and isn't my "helpless cuddly baby" anymore. He's ALL boy and I'm in trouble when he gets a little more mobile!! lol

 

cattac - May 5

My oldest son just turned 3 1/2, my second son just turned 1 1/2 and we just had a little girl that will be 8 weeks this week. So far the third one hasn't been much of an adjustment. My second son's arrival was tougher but may have been because we'd just moved half a country away from my family and I had no help and was a little depressed about the move. I also felt guilty about having my second child so close to my first but wanted them close because I thought it would pay off in a couple years, and still do think this. I've heard it's more difficult the first few years having kids closer in age, and it may be, but I don't know any differently and I don't think it's too bad so far. I don't think I'd do it any other way. I do want one or two more but don't know if I want them in the next couple years. If we have one more I may wait several years because I know once I have that one I'm done done done and I'm 28 right now so I have a little time I can wait.

 

Kiersten - May 5

Thank you BUFFI, RMC, MJVDEC and MEVAL for your replies as well! Have a great day ladies and thanks so much for giving me some things to think on...

 

margie - May 5

oh and another thing to consider is how old you are...for me, i am forcing myself to wait to fullfill the criteria i set out for our goals.....however.....i am 30 years old....and i would like to have a few more kids, so either, im going to have to live with just having one more or im going to have to hurry up with getting our life more settled

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - May 5

I have an 8 months old daughter and I am 21w pregnant...so my 2 will be 12 months apart. I am excited, although neither 2 were planned lol I am happy that I will have 2 so close in age. Although it will be hard, I just am really happy that my first 2 will be close in age, so when I have my 3rd (hopefully my youngest will be 3) It will seem easier. I am very happy with where I am right now. And even though I am 19, DH and I are at a good place in life. I stay home and will for the next baby as well. He makes enough to pay rent, food and bills without my help. So I think even tho Im young its a good time

 

Kiersten - May 5

CATTAC, I too have felt some guilt. Mostly because I'm surrounded by people that are very quick to raise eyebrows and ask if we want to borrow a video so we have somethings ELSE to do. (seriously!!) I'm very happy to be a momma and I'm excited about having another baby whenever that happens. I can relate to how you felt moving away from family. We actually just moved back in the area near family, but were down in Florida for schooling for almost 2 years. It was hard being pregnant and not having my mom especially not near me. None of our family was able to be there for his birth. It was tough. We moved up (once my dh graduated) when my son was 10 days old. Congrats on your family!

 

Kiersten - May 5

NERDY, you must be exhausted! Congratulations! Were people rude to you when they found out or were they good about being happy for your family? It drives me nuts when people look at you like you're crazy for wanting a big family. They can make some pretty inappropriate comments at times. I remember when my son was about 3 months old I went to the store to get a box of tests. (I've made it a habit to take one a month just to check since I haven't started my cycle yet) They'd been having some problems with girls stealing tests from the shelves so they started keeping them in a case up front. I had to ask the cashier for a box and she was NOT being very discreet or tactful in the looks she was shooting at me. Had the nerve to raise an eyebrow, look at my son, then the tests and say "all ready?!" I wanted to be pregnant right then so bad just out of spite! Ha-Ha. Not the best att_tude to have, I know, but it rubbed me wrong. Congrats on your growing family. I hope the second half of your pregnancy goes well and that your delivery is quick and painless. (If only, right?) What are you having?

 

tryin44 - May 5

I have four kids. My first two DS were born 13 months apart. We then waited five years and had a DD and another DD came surprisingly 23 months later. We would have liked to have less of a gap between the boys and girls but we were doing foster care and our house was full of four teenagers besides our little boys.

 

melissap - May 5

My oldest 2 are almost exactly 24 months apart which was ok. They just turned 6&4 and my youngest is just a little over 5 months. I wanted to wait to toilet train my middle guy.That was the hardest part of having the boys 2 years apart.

 

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