How To Tell My Sister

14 Replies
Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 11

She don't want to help with bottle training...I can't stand her daughter crying anymore. She is really jealous so if I am holding my daughter (who cries due to colic) she screams and screams til I get her, I have to get her because I'm afraid someone thinks I'm abusing her. My poor daughter is the one who ends up in the swing or something. I can't do it. I know it is effecting my daughter because at night she cries when I have her, the moment DH gets her she quits. Its like she don't want to beith me. I cry all night and I hate how my sister won't do anything til she gets her check. Which is not for another week. I miss my daughter but my sister don't listen. They are both screaming and I hate having to choose who to get. Please gve me something to tell my sister so she understands that I can't neglect my daughter no more.

 

excited2bemama - October 11

All your have to tell her is that you can't care for 2 infants that young, espcecilaly being that her baby crys so much. Your number 1 prioroty is YOUR daughter. Tell her your are sorry its not working out but canNOT care for both and this time is special. your lo is only young once and she is your mian responsibilty.

 

JessC531 - October 11

Hey Nerdy. You just have to tell your sister that it's too much for you. Taking care of one baby - with colic! - is a very hard job. Add another one to the mix, and you've really got your hands full. This is your time with your daughter. I know the money you can earn is nice, but is it really worth it? I doubt it. Your sister should understand, being a mother herself. And if she doesn't, she'll get over it. You have to do what's best for you and your lo.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 11

Actually, Im not getting paid for this...my sis is about to file for bankruptcy (sp) my niece still wont take to a bottle, if she would eat i know it would be different but she still wont eat, i try and try...i have a serenge and i get her to take at least 2 cc's then she spits it out. Now the apartment managers are watching my apartment

 

kimberly - October 11

Simply tell her no! It is not good for your sisters baby to not eat!! That in itself is a reason not to do it anymore. Put you foot down, don't be a push over and she will listen! Something I have learned since having my kids is you are your childs advocate and no matter how much it hurts someone else, if it is right for your child you just have to do it. Because you are the only one who can speak for your dd. Nerdy, I am really concerned that your sisters babies health is being compromised. Babies at her age have to have thier milk or they do not thrive. I would refuse just simply because of that alone not to mention how it is putting your dd out. You need to tell her today!

 

JessC531 - October 11

I thought you were going to be getting paid for wathing her! Geez. Kimberly has a really good point. Not only is it not good for you or your dd, but your niece isn't eating!!! That's not a good thing, and your sister should be more concerned about that than you are! Let us know how it goes...

 

TiffanyRae - October 11

Before you said you were at least getting paid....but seriously for the health of you, your baby, and your niece you need to sit down and have a talk with your sister. Just tell it like it is. Be blunt if you have too....obviously she isn't getting the hint, you already tried to talk to her about helping with the bottle feeding. GL

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 11

I was getting paid, so you were right there but this morning she told me she couldn't afford to pay me, not really much I can say, I don't want her thinking I am only babysitting to get the money so I left it. So yeah, no more money. My niece ate today, not from a bottle but she thinks she is a big girl and did it from a big persons cup, then I got her on a toddler cup with a soft sucking thing (don't know what its called)

 

MNMOM - October 12

nerdy - I am worried about you and about BOTH of these babies!! You are in a tough spot. You are a wonderful sister for trying to help, but man, it sounds like you are in an impossible situation and you really need to look out for you and your baby. Maybe you can help your sister arrange other care, give her some tips/suggestions or whatever of other people you think might be willing to help her for a while..other relatives, someone from your church, etc...but you really have to tell you this is not working for you. Good luck girl, and be strong!

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 12

I told her, but she is making it very hard on me. She didn't tell her husband that I said no and she told him to drop her off at my house, so he did and now here I am again with my niece after I told her I couldn't do it because last night I had a huge emotional breakdown because my daughter don't want to be with me AT ALL. She just goes to her Dad (I went to my Moms house yesterday because I was crying and she got off work) my sister screwed around at work for an hour and a half, she dont call to see how her daughter is doing. I feel like I'm getting depressed because my daughter don't want me, my sister don't listen to me, my niece has been mad for the last 40 minutes...and my sisters husband said i need to take the baby a bath, its my daughters bath day, well it was yesterday but she wouldnt go to me. I haven't slept all week, late nights with DD, early mornings with my niece, then to think it is over with and I get a knock on my doorstep. im exhausted, and my sister is a huge BEEP knowing how i felt, knowing i wanted time with my daughter and still doing this. it wouldn't be so bad if dd wasnt colic and if my niece would eat. Also DH and I are tight on money (we dont want to dip into savings) and i have to provide EVERYTHING except diapers for her daughter. I have to use my wipes, my formula (WITH COSTS ALOT) my bottles, everything but diapers. My sister thinks because I had two huge cans of formula at one point she is welcome, but those cans are gone...I have to use similac checks just to afford her formula. I can't afford enough for two babies. I just hate this

 

TiffanyRae - October 12

Nerdy you have to be careful. You are going to slip into Post Partum Depression if you don't do something now. to be honest you already sound like you are on the verge. Bring up YOUR OWN baby is hard enough. I am sorry if this is going to sound horrible but lock your d__n door! I know she is your sister...I have three....so I know how hard it is to say no and stick to it....but you are not going to be a good care giver for your lo or her's if you don't stop stressing yourself out. It seems to me like you are noticing that there is a problem but you are not taking the steps to fix it. Even if that means hurting some feelings. Your LO isn't trying to shut you out.....She just wants her mommy to herself...which at four weeks she would get....remember she can read if you are stressed, sad, mad too. They are smart little beans! Anyway Nerdy you need to be strong and do what you have to do. I know you are young but you are a mom now plain and simple. Put YOUR life and your little ones life before ANYTHING else. She is your responsibility first and formost! Good Luch Nerdy and we will be thinking about you!

 

searfoss6 - October 13

NerdyGirl it seems like your sister is taking advantage of your good nature. There should be no reason for you to have to pay for everything for her child and then take care of her daugher for free. If she won't take no for an answer then talk to her husband. Let them know that you can not take care of two little ones any longer and give them a time frame when they need a new sitter. I have a sister that makes my mom ( age 62) take care of her two children ages 7 and 1 all the time. My mom is so stressed out she needed to take meds to calm her nerves and my dad just had heart surgery 3 months ago and she still takes her kids there all the time. My son is 5 weeks and I also have a 20 month old and 3 1/2 year old at home and it is stressful. Even if she is your sister your daughter has to come first, if this keeps up it will take a toll on you and your family.

 

countrymom401 - October 13

You poor poor girl. Just say NO. As far as I'm concerned you have your plate fulll with your own child. I would tell my sister that under no circ_mstances will you watch her dd anymore!! Tell her that you are sorry but NO. If her husband trys to drop her off tell him NO. If they cry and whine that they can only count on you tell them NO. Do not give in anymore. If they do not get it I would go as far as leaving my house before they would arrive just to make sure that they get it. It might take a day or two but you are already waking up to get her so I would just go for a drive for an hour your dd will most likly fall back to sleep in the car. Then they might relieze that you mean NO NO NO!!!!!! I would be so mad at my sister if she was treating me like this she should understand that your dd is more important to you then hers. Not that you don't love your niece but I am sure you love your dd more. Please for your own happieness and health please say NO. For your dd's happiness please say NO.

 

cubbie - October 14

You can't do this anymore, you are damaging your health, your relationship with your daughter and your financial situation. You've already told her no, but she won't listen, I suggest you tell her again and tomorrow, get up early and take a really long walk, so you are not home when they bring the baby, they won't listen to your words, but will have no choice but to pay attention to your actions - good luck and hang in there!

 

Val - October 14

Nerdy - I agree with the others... you have to put your foot down and don't let your sister and her family bully or intimidate you into taking care of their baby. I understand that you are just trying to be a good sister, but she is not being a good sister to you - she is completely taking advantage of you. You need to put yourself and your baby first, and if that means that your sister might be mad at you, that is her problem, not yours. Call them and tell them you cannot watch their child anymore, that it is having a negative effect on your baby, on your mental/emotional state, on your finances, and potentially on your housing situation, and let them know that they need to find new daycare, effective IMMEDIATELY. If she tries to bully you, just tell her you are sorry but you have done all you can and she needs to take responsibility for her child.

 

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