I Don T Want To Have My Baby Christened And My Mom Is Upset

7 Replies
ME - October 17

Is it or is it not hypocritical, to get your baby christened if you don't believe in God? It's just that my whole family seem to be on at me to get my baby christened and my mom is particularly disappointed with me, even though none of them go to church except for hatchings, matchings and despatchings, as we say. I used to be very religious myself, but eventually came to the conclusion, that if there is a God, he can't possibly have anything to do with the church. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but that's my personal view, and I don't think it would be right for me to have my baby baptised just so my family can have a big party, which I'm sure is what bothers them the most. What do you think?

 

opinion - October 17

ISo they get upset....They will have to find a way to move on with their lives. It's not their decision to make. They had their children and made the decisions that they felt were right.

 

N - October 17

This is what I said. I want to wait until my child is old enough to decide for himself. I think it would mean alot more to him and the family if this was something he was old enough to enjoy and wanted to do for himself rather than something we did before he could remember and understand... Our family respected our decision and actually felt it was a good one. I hope this helps even a little. I know it is tough when others do not share your beliefs, but they are as individual as each and every one of us and ultimately it is up to you, your husband and your child to decide what is best for you.

 

Jbear - October 18

I had the same problem when my first daughter was born. My mom wanted her baptized in the hospital (she was in NICU) because she was afraid my daughter would die and not get into heaven because she hadn't been baptized. I didn't want to offend my mom, because she spent a considerable amount sending me to Catholic school when I was growing up, but my entire life I resented being forced to go to church, recieve sacraments, be an altar server, etc. in a religion that I never really agreed with. As an adult I haven't had anything to do with organized religion, and I didn't want my daughter baptized. If she becomes interested in religion as she grows up, that's her choice. It was a little uncomfortable telling my mom, but she got over it.

 

Jamie - October 18

I'm having the opposite problem - my mother-in-law is HIGHLY p__sed that my daughter's being baptised. But, I told her that she had her chance to raise her kids her way, and now it's my turn. Possible solution to your problem - have the big party without the big ceremony - call it a hatching party, even!

 

ME - October 18

I agree. I have no problems with her getting baptised when she's older. I'll support her, whaever she wants to do, but I don't feel it's a decision I can make for her, when I don't fully believe in it myself.

 

Steph - October 18

Funny, when grown children have children, grandparents like to force their opinions and beleifs on the parents/grandchildren. Religion is a very iffy subject with a lot of people and if you are not wanting your child to get baptised, then don't do it. People need to be respectful of your beliefs and feelings and realise that this is YOUR child and you make the decisions. Too bad if people's feelings get hurt as they are adults and they'll get over it. Good Luck!

 

MJM - October 18

I had somewhat of a simular situation. I wanted to have our daughter baptised. My DH however does not really have any true religion. So he told me no, when she grew up she can decide. I still wish I would have just done it. All it really does is bless you child. My mom was not too happy but she understood and said that it is my child. Just let you family and friends know that you feel it is a choice for your child to make and not yours. Keep in mind as we raise our children people will always have something negative to say on the choice that we make. As long as we know that they are the right choices that is all that matters. You raise your child not your family.

 

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