I M A Horrible Mom

12 Replies
JEAN - October 13

Don't be judgmental please, I just need to vent. Today my baby is soooo fussy, he's been crying non stop and I can't even figure out what he wants. At one point I' ve lost my control, and while he was sitting on his rocking chair, I shake him for about a second and then realised that I shouldn't do that. Now my baby is sleeping and when I see his face I feel sooo terrible and so afraid that I ve might hurt him.

 

Lisa*9 - October 13

watch is sleeping make sure he doesn't sleep to much,if it happens again when you frustrated call someone or come on here to get advicesomeone will help you. If you want to talk email me at [email protected],if I am available I would love to help

 

Jbear - October 14

Sometimes when the baby's fussy like that, you just have to put them in their crib, or somewhere else safe for them, close the door, and go into another room until you feel calm again. You can't always figure out why they cry or make them stop even when you know what's wrong, and it doesn't make you a bad mom. Sometimes when they're really fussy it can be a sign of illness, like earache, or teething. My daughter used to cry so much that we'd put her in the car and just drive around all night because she'd sleep in the car, when she wouldn't sleep anywhere else.

 

TC - October 14

Sometimes my 6wk old son gets fussy through the night. When I feel like I am going to explode, I put him the crib and close the door. I then go on the internet to this forum or something else just to clear my mind. Jean, I think you should try to find something you can do when you are pa__s the point of frustration that will allow you to clear your mind like maybe talking to another parent. Trust me, moms and dads all over the world are going through the same thing that you are going through. Getting frustrated does not make you a bad mom, it makes you human.

 

Lissi - October 14

I had a night like that this week, and it really scared me. I also got to the point where I felt like shaking her and had to wake up my husband quick and hand her over, because I was losing control. I cried for hours afterwrds, because I couldn't believe how close I came to hurting someone so precious to me. It was a bit of a wake up call though, because I felt so guilty about it, that I now have endless patience with her. It's not her fault. She just has terrible colic and is obviously in pain. If things ever get that bad again (don't think they will) I'll just hand her to someone else or put her down for 5 minutes and take some deep breaths. It's not unusual for parents to feel like this. Hope things get easier for you soon.

 

Jean - October 14

It is totally understandable to feel like you are losing control. Butif that happens you need to remove yourself from the situation and call for some help. Shaking a baby is highly dangerous and can permanently damage the child or even kill. I don't mean to scare you with this and I'm not judging you. I have worked with "shaken babies" before and it is heartbraking what can happen (not to mention, you going to jail). Damage can happen even if it's only for a split second. Do you have any support you can call when things get real bad (and I know how bad they can get)? Hubby or parents? If not, call a help line to help calm yourself (they won't come take the baby away unless you harm it). http://www.dontshake.com/ ............ and http://www.dunebrook.org/crying/

 

P.S. - October 14

That was TO: Jean, sorry

 

JEAN - October 14

Thanks for all the support guys. I really feel terrible and guilty when I saw his innocent face, it's not his fault that he iwas crying, I can't imagine I've almost hurt my baby. It really gave me a lesson though. I think next time I better do what you guys told me. It's really hard for me seeking help since my husband works most of the time, and my family doesn't live nearby, so it's pretty wearing me out. If I need help I will come here. Thanks once again

 

I know - October 14

My son is tipically a good baby but he doesn't do well at night. Sometimes I feel the same way but then I realize that he is a baby and this is the only way he knows how to tell me that something is wrong. Shaking a baby does nothing but damage. I found that even letting him cry for a little while until I settle down helps a lot. I also will call my mom to see if she has suggestions and that also really helps.

 

wondering - October 14

Jean, did his head jerk backwards at all?

 

keekee - October 14

Honey parenting can be overwheming but never shake a baby. You can cause serious damage. You may want to take him to the doctor to make sure everything is alright.....When he's crying put him in the crib and walk out the room. Count to 10 and take a deep breath. Walk back into the room and try to calm him down while you're calm. He may calm down faster when you're calm. Babies can feel when the parent is upset and take them longer to calm down......I hope all is well and take care

 

Lissi - October 14

That's what I think made things worse for me! I was so distressed at not getting her to settle, that it was actually making her cry even more, because once she was in my husband's arms, she started to calm down. I never get stressed out when she cries now. I agree with everyone else, that's it's best to leave the room and calm down for a moment. It's hard to leave them to cry, but rather that than get to the point where you want to explode.

 

JEAN - October 14

I wasn't actually shaking him. He was in his rocking chair and I shake the chair, so his head wasn't jerk backwards..still that event really scared me off. He is normally a happy baby, I don't know what was wrong with him. Today he is back to normal, I am so relieved that he is doing fine.

 

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