I Need Some Tips And Pointers

7 Replies
Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 9

Ok my daughter is 6 weeks old and I want to give her my full attention, but my sister HAS to go to work because her husband got fired and is at a lower paying job and can't afford everything. Well her daughter is 4 months old...has never been away from her mother for longer then 10-15 minutes. She is EXTREMELY attached to her mom. Yesterday she wouldn't eat ANYTHING. She cried most of the time. She absolutley WILL NOT take a bottle. She is so bad, that even when her mother didn't want to br___tfeed her, she had to because my niece hates bottles and has never once, with the many times we tried actually sucked on a nipple bottle. She refuses, now I feel so bad for her because for one, she doesn't want to be here, for two she won't eat anything, three she only knows being around her mom and then bang she gets seperated. I have her from 5:30a.m.-4:00p.m. and she does not want to do anything, she just cries and cries...which is understandable. But my daughter on top of that is colic. So not only do I have one crying baby, I now have two. My daughter just became colic last week and I want to devote my full attention to her, but I obviously can't. I got my other sister to help me yesterday, it worked for a little bit...but my niece will only play for a little while and then get fussy again. I tried many different sorts of nipples for bottle, feeing her through a serenge, and even out of a cup, it don't matter she won't drink anything. Her mom even pumps and it still don't work. I'm only on my 2nd day here but if my niece keeps crying and with my daughter...I know I won't be able to do it. I can tolerate my daughter. But my niece yells. I mean she has to here herself loud and clear...please someone help me here. I don't know what to do and I hate letting one of them cry for so long but they are both hurting. My daughters stomach, and my niece with missing her mom. I don't know what to do...I need help.

 

c_baer19 - October 9

I think for one, you need to talk to your sister about working with her baby with the bottle. You shouldn't have to be the only one training her to use the bottle, her mother should be doing most of that work. I know it's difficult, my DD hates to take the bottle too now, but they WILL take it eventually when they're hungry enough. I find it hard to believe that a baby could go almost 12 hours without any food at all.. they would be very unhealthy and dehydrated! I can't imagine taking care of two babies at once that young, and I wish I had some advice for you other than to keep trying. Why can't her mother find someone else to take care of her baby that doesn't have a newborn? I know you said they're down on money, but what about her mom or his mom? Or your other sister? If it's not working for you, you need to let her know so she can try to make other arrangements, as harsh as that may sound.. best of luck.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 9

She won't eat...I get what I can but she won't. No matter how long it is time wise, she don't and wont take a bottle. I just really want my daughter right now, I hate it because she is the one who I put down the most...I don't want her feeling neglected. My mom works so she can't babysit, her dads mom isnt at all one bit capable of taking care of a baby, didnt ven take care of her own kids. my other sister has 7 kids so that alone answers itself. the only option is daycare, but the whole money issue

 

kimberly - October 9

Nerdy her mother needs to start giving her a bottle at home too. That way she gets more use to it. My baby would cry all day too if she wasn't eating. It is not good for her. You can try to feed her cereal with lots of formula in it from a spoon . Atleast then she would be getting something. She may refuse this too but I would try, 4 months is old enough for cereal. If you can't handle it then you have to tell your sister, you just can't!

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - October 9

If she would just eat I know she wouldn't cry...if I found a way to get her to eat, and I asked my sister about the cereal thing and she called her doc, and the doc said she probably won't eat for the first 2 weeks while with me, and the doc said her baby was in daycare and only ate with her, so my sis thinks its normal because thats what the doc said. So for my sister the formula is a no no, and I would want them to respect my decision if it were my daughter. I am telling my sister, that if her daughter is like this by Friday that I can't do it, she may need money, but she had 4 months alone with her daughter, all I got was 6 weeks. My daughter is hurting, I need to put her first. If that is rude, I feel bad and all but I need to take care of my own first and foremost.

 

c_baer19 - October 9

I agree - about the rice cereal, 4 months is usually the time it is introduced anyway, and if your sister is okay with the rice cereal, it can be mixed with b___st milk instead, not formula.

 

Val - October 9

Wow, I feel really bad for you... It's nice that you are trying to help out your sister and her family, but for her to hand off an infant that is not prepared for a different caregiver is just irresponsible, and not very nice to you or your newborn who should be getting more of your attention. Like the others said, your sister (and her husband) need to work with the baby to train her to take bottles. It would probably be better if it was her husband because the baby probably a__sociates your sister with b___stfeeding and may not take a bottle from her. She should try exclusively pumping (not giving the bb) and having her husband or another family member giving the baby a bottle. Babies can be trained to take bottles (although it's probably more difficult since she is 4 months old) and need to eat all day long... It's ridiculous that the doctor said that it would take 2 weeks for the baby to eat with you. You shouldn't have to endure this - it's your sister's responsibility to prepare her baby for you, it's not your responsibility to teach her baby to accept the bottle. If I had left my baby with his daycare provider and he acted the way your sister's baby does (not that it's the baby's fault - she's just used to things her way), I'm sure my daycare provider would have refused to continue taking care of him, and rightfully so. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh towards your sister... it just makes me mad that someone would think that it's okay to leave a baby with a caregiver when the baby hasn't been away from her mother for more than 15 minutes and hasn't been trained to eat from a bottle. You are right to put your daughter first... don't feel bad about it. Tell your sister and her husband that you will be happy to watch their child once they have trained her to eat with a bottle. Good luck...

 

Tracy88 - October 9

another reason your niece may be crying and refusing the bottle is that she may be teething, or starting to teethe. babies don't usually have detachment issues until they are about 5 and half to 7 months old, so I don't think that's the problem. I know every child is different, but I have been with my daughter every day of her life and just recently started leaving her with a sitter for little bits at a time, and she is still not showing separation anxiety. My daughter is five months old. I say to try the cereal, or try some topical teething ointment followed by a bottle or cereal. I can't really think of anything else. I do feel that you have too much responsibility on your shoulders with two little ones. Definitely talk with your sis and see if there is another option for her child.

 

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