I Want So Badly

8 Replies
starlight_94 - June 8

to have another baby. Ds is 16 months and I am just dying to have another one, then I found out that my SIL is preggo...it was like a knife to the heart. I just cant see havin one more when I dont know how the economy is doing... I dont want to bring another child into this world and then loose a job or something like that. How big of a price change is it going from one to two kids?? I mean I have all the stuff, but diaper wise and formula and that stuff?? Sorry this is more of a vent....but it has actually made me depressed and I cant seem to shake it.

 

JessC531 - June 8

We only have 1 right now (dd is 10 months) but want another one soon. We're going to start trying next month. I am a SAHM, and finances are definitely tight, but I feel like if we wait to feel comfortable, we'll be waiting forever. I b___stfeed, so really the only extra cost will be diapers. And more food once the baby starts eating. I would say not to worry about all the "ifs", and do what will make you and your family happy. You really never know what the future holds, and I've learned that I have to just stop worrying. Good luck.

 

tish212 - June 8

I know how you feel starlight, i am longing so bad to have another-i want my dd to have a sibling close in age to her but i am fearful of how tightly it would strap dh and i down with the cost of everything rising... i wish i had an answer for you...but dh and i have decided that we aren't "trying" but we aren't doing anything to "prevent" it so that if it happens it happens....i feel if it does happen then it was meant to be and everything will be fine...we tried for SOOOO many years with dd, then we finally got our house, dh got a new job within his company, and we got settled better with our bills, and the very next month we got preg...so i think things happen when they are supposed to... if that makes sense.... maybe you can think of it that way...also depending on where you are from there are different programs that can help make the financial burden a littl easier... like wic and such here we have family centers and i know my SIL volunteers at one and in exchange they give her diapers, formula, baby food etc.... (anything she needs just NOT money) gl.... and sorry i couldn't answer your question seeing as how i only have 1 child so far...

 

Crystal83 - June 8

I really don't find it to be much more expensive after you have the first one. I thought it would be because you spend so much money when you are having the first, you want the best of everything. We kept everything we had from the first, and I just bought a couple new outfits here and there because we didn't know if it was a boy/girl. We had a girl already. I have 3 girls now, so clothing hasn't been a problem lol! I also have a few really good childrens clothing stores where I live that have really nice gently used baby clothes. It does get a bit more expensive when the kids get older, they eat more food, they have school, and you don't always want to give handme downs to the youngest ones. My 2 oldest are in ballet as well, and that is costly, but they both love it so I budget for it every year. They love the thrift shops we go to also, they like to pick their own clothes to buy and I can let them buy 3 or 4 at a time tehy 4 and 7 years old and very girly, so they love looking at all the old style purses and shoes too lol!, and sometimes I let them buy some toys if they are in good shape still as well. I think if you really want another baby then go for it!

 

iemc19 - June 8

I agree with Crystal - I'm in the UK and the cost of livivng is way higher here - I think your nappies are unbelievably cheap ;-) But with child no2 I bougth washables - probably not economical if you don't then have more...but if you still have all your things from baby no1 its sooo much easier...we're ttc no5 (don't laugh) and I still have everything from no1! Plus it has been added to every child - gifts from family and such....I think the added cost does come from after school events - football, brownies and hobbies that they tthen get into - my eldest is now into fishing....But I teach them to appreciate the cost of things and he knows he also has to earn his way to some things....But I also feel if you truly want one , to wait and see if the economy will change?? You could very easily scare yourself out of even thinking about another....There is no easy answer....

 

denimb__terfly - June 8

I know EXACTLY how you are feeling Starlight! Everyone in our family wants me to have another (the older kids and my husband) and I would love to have a #4, but I am really worried about the economy and I don't want to worry that if I had just kept to my 3 it would have been easier. But, it seems silly that money would be such the clencher. I mean the economy has its ups and downs and I really don't want to be too much older to have my last one. Also, I would like to go back to school and I think if I waited to have #4 that would probably never happen for me. So, I guess I am just about ready to break out the maternity (God willing), but I still am going back and forth. I should have never asked my older 2 what they thought because now I have them and my husband egging me on (which doesn't take much anyways because I really would like another)

 

denimb__terfly - June 8

I also understand the getting depressed thing. I keep wondering if I should just call it quits with #3, but if I do it bothers me that I did not tell myself during the pregnancy that this is it- last one. And, these last few months of constant growing I could not accept that this could be the last time I have a "baby" in the house. The last cooing, teething, crawling, etc. I feel like if I had prepared my mind better I would not feel like I was depriving myself of one more (this might not make sense to some and I guess it does sound selfish- but that's not what I really mean) I really love my kids. They are my life- the best thing I have ever done! I look at them and wish I had a hundred of them! Just one more would probably be good though. But, what if I feel this way after #4- I am going to end up like that mom with a ton of kids? That is why I still need to ponder on this whole subject. I'm glad I am not the only one out there with these feelings. :-)

 

Krissy25 - June 8

The economy goes up and down, in 5 years things will probably be much better. I think more importantly you have to look at your own finances. I would say if things aren't going too well and your debt is high and your jobs look shaky it's probably better to wait, but if your spending is in check, debts are low, and there is no real threat that either of you will lose your jobs i say go for it.

 

starlight_94 - June 9

Thanks ladies... The dh and I decided that we are not trying but not "not trying" So if it happens it happens. If not we will try in 4-5 months from now. I am happy that he agrees, and we will just have to be more strict with our spending. I get stressed out about money all the time, and we are doing good, I mean not perfect but good with things. I hope that I am making the right choice. So I guess we'll see what happens!

 

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