In Laws Already Pushing Crappy Food

12 Replies
EricaG - February 12

This is kind of a vent but I'd like your opinions on how you'd handle it. My husband's family does not eat very well, they love fast food along with other things loaded with sodium and fat. When my husband and I got married he was addicted to all of that stuff and wouldn't touch a steamed veggie or salad with a ten foot pole. He had high blood pressure, which is genetic in his family but he was not overweight. His father also has high blood pressure but drinks gallons of Mountain Dew a day and eats a family sized can of spaghetti-o's for lunch, which is how he taught my husband to eat, my husband's youngest brother , 12 years old, lives on french fries and spaghetti-o's. Well, since I do the cooking I have changed my husband's eating habits around and he actually enjoys fruits and vegtables now. Whereas a day for him used to be no breakfast, huge can of Spaghettio's for lunch and 3 cheesy Gordita crunches with no lettuce and extra cheese from Taco bell with a XXL Mountain Dew, a normal day for him now is a nutri grain bar for breakfast, a turkey sandwich with an apple for lunch and a grilled chicken br___t with steamed carrots and rice for dinner, along with a homemade shake desigened to lower blood pressure. This is how we eat and this is how I plan to raise my children, with minimal fast food or boxed dinners. Well, my daughter is only 6 months and 3 weeks old so I know shge can't understand what they're saying, but my in-laws are always saying things to her like "Do you want some of grandpa's mountain dew, no you're too little but you will when you're older" or "Have you tried pepperoni pizza yet? pizza is yummy!" or "grandma and grandpa are gonna spoil you and give you lots of junk food 'cause that''s what grandparents are for" They will also ask me "can she have a taste of frosting?" or can she suck on this cookie?" Which I always tell them no. But my dilemma is, sure she's a baby now and they understand that she can't have that stuff now, but what about when she gets older and and they want to give her pizza and frosting and cookies and Mt. Dew and buy her happy meals. My questions is not wether or not I should allow them to give this stuff to her, because I already know that it will not be allowed, but rather when and how should I approach the subject with them, should I do it now when she's young so they've accpeted it by the time she's older?

 

LisaB - February 12

I feed my ds pretty healty but I also give him an occasional cookie, brownie, cake ect. Personally I don't feel there is anything wrong with that. He also sometimes will get a fast food- chx taco from Taco Bell or a cheeseburger from McDonalds I don't think its going to kill him however we don't do it everyday either I also serve the unhealhy Taco Bell or McDOnlds with veggies and fruit to somewhat balance him out. I do believe moderation is key and if you deprive your child of something it makes them what it more so thats is just how I personally feel- If my ds had a weight issue it would be another story. You are the parent though so do what you feel best.

 

LisaB - February 12

BTW soda is just sugar and has pretty bad effects on the body so I have stopped drinking it (once in awhile I'll slip) cuz I don't want ds to drink it.

 

EricaG - February 12

Thanks LisaB, I am not perfect either, I enjoy the occa__sional cookie or chips and will allow my children to have them occasionally also, but when they do have them it will be me giving it to them to monitor what, when and how much they get, not my in-laws. Does anybody have any idea how to approach this with them?

 

Emily - February 12

I qwould point out the change in your dh health ( I am asumming he must have lsot some weight and has lower blood pressure now….) Just be kind and understanding and say that yo would appreiate if they would n't feed that stuff to your children. Explain that you will let them eat some things fo a treat, but would prefer if they do not feed those things to your child. Maybe enlist sh help as he has been "reformed"

 

piratesmermaid - February 12

Occasionally, like a treat is fine, but I would definately tell the inlaws to Back Off! My hubby's close friend is really overweight and his wife is severely diabetic but doesn't watch what she eats so she's overweight too, and these people are PROUD of their 1year old son, that he can eat an entire thing of McDonalds french fries by himself! I am disgusted by these people (even before I knew what they do with their son in regards to food, but that's a long story). Maybe tell them that with the family's medical history (make up something on your side if you have to just to get them to stop) that you are going to be very careful with what your lo eats, and if they have a problem with that, then they cannot be alone with YOUR children.

 

k.p.j.e. - February 12

I really believe you have to be kind of a b*tch on this one, pardon my words. I have had to be kinda mean w/ my own mom and my in-laws because they feed my son ice cream by the spoonful and think it's so cute...I hate it. I have had to be pretty jerky about it, I admit. Grandparents, especially when they eat poorly themselves, think they are ent_tled to "spoil" their grandkids and it's the parents' job to say no. I just said "That's enough. I don't want a morbidly obese child!" It's a little harsh but it worked. I don't know if you should be rude, but just make it known that you are firm in your opinions. And I agree w/ you and LisaB that occasional snacking isn't bad...you have to be realistic, right?

 

EMBERBABY - February 12

When grandpa says "Do you want some of grandpa's mountain dew, no you're too little but you will when you're older" you say as " No grandpa soda is not good for me" (As if pretending to be your dd, I know it sounds silly but maybe this will avoid confrontation but will get the point across) you get the idea of what I mean Erica. Approach it subtly at first see if the catch on, if they don't then as a parent you might have to be a bit more straightorward and step on some toes if necessary. I don't think an occasional sip of soda or a taste of fast food will hurt your dd but when and how much is completely upto the parents not the grandparents.

 

Erynn21 - February 12

You know I am really worried myself about the exact thing, my hubby and I eat pretty well, I mean we have a frozen pizza for dinner once in a while, but most of the time I cook pretty well. My dh's family used to eat well, but now, it's KFC, Mc Donalds's you name it they eat it junk. Anyway when we do visit it's always the same there's TONS of candy, cookies, soda, it's overwhelming, and my FIL just had to go to the hospital for a major stomach issue, which was linked to his over consumption of Pepsi and Ibuprofen(shudder). He also chain smokes(yucky), I have A SIL who eats pretty good like we do and we have similar parenting styles and she just tells her older children that they should only have one soda and there are bottles of water to drink instead of having 5 sodas. I do have Pepsi in my fridge, but do I drink one every day? No I don't. You have to set your own boundaries, I have seen it work w/ my SIL, an occasional bit of junk food won't be horrible, I think if you(and your dh) set a good example you children will follow, you just have to be frank w/ your in-laws, and tell them Mountain Dew is inappropriate for a growing child, I mean yellow food color, sugar and caffiene, gross. A piece of pepperoni pizza probably won't be horrible though. Ultimately it's up to you to show your child good decisions and choices in food, if worse comes to worse bring your own snacks.

 

mandee25 - February 12

First of all let me say that I think it's awesome you want to feed your child healthy foods right from the start. I also want ds to grow up liking healthy foods. If only more parents were like you! I would tell the in-laws how you want your child to grow up healthy therefore they need healthy eating habits. It is a hard situation though as some grandparents think giving treats is spoiling the kids.

 

EricaG - February 13

Sorry that it took me so long to get back on here but, well you're all moms, you know how busy it gets, lol. Thank you all so much for your suggestions on things to say. I will definately take all of your comments into account when I approach the in-laws on this subject. As scary as they may seem (lol) I know I have to do what is right for my baby. So many children are obese and have diabetes and stuff now days because their little systems aren't meant to handle all of that sugar and stuff. She's only 6 months 3 weeks and they've already asked if she's tried desserts yet! I guess I'll just have to be strong and confident and make sure that my husband is right behind me when I make my stand against junk food. It's my baby so it's my way or the highway, right? lol

 

EricaG - February 13

btw I should mention that I'm a reformed junkfood eater so I know the effect that eating that way can have on your life. I used to be 180 lbs, have horrible migraines, not be able to sleep at night and have not energy during the day. Now I'm 130 lbs (hoping to get down to 125) am migraine free since I cut out caffiene, and sleep like a rock during the night and have energy to get through the day. I really believe it has to do with the way I have changed my eating and exercise habits.

 

EMBERBABY - February 13

wow Erica that's wonderful, I don't think I cut cut out caffeine out completely though lol. I love my frappucinos too much =0P that is my indulgence I get one about every week or so. You are obviosly a strong woman and I am sure you will be able to get through to your inlaws.

 

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