Is Hitting Ok

32 Replies
guccigal87 - October 10

soo my son is now 8 months.. he has 4 teeth and loves to bite us.. he thinks its funny and has broken skin.. i have said no and put him down but he still does it .. also im having a problem withhim touching things he is not allowed like my dhs playstation... sooo i have been smacking him on the hand and saying no and taking him away from it but he ALWAYS goes back... i wish he never learnt to crawl lol is there any better way i can get him to stop this horrible behavoir.. he just laughes at me when i say no... and gives me this eye i swear he does it on purpose!! and when my mil saw me smack his hand she freaked... but i dont hit him hard sooo any help would be awesome.. i need to deal with this devil child i have.. haha my mom always said my past would catch up to me

 

lily10 - October 10

I'm not a parenting expert by any means but I think that it is up to you to take all the stuff you don't want your son touching and put it out of his reach. Your son is just exploring and being a baby and I don't think that deserves having his hand smacked. I find it hard to believe that an 8 month old has truly "horrible" behavior.

 

guccigal87 - October 10

well the thing with putting everthing away is that then he wont have boundries and know what he can and cant touch and i think thats important for a baby to learn

 

TiffanyRae - October 10

Unfortunatly at 8 months babies do not understand boundries! Lily was right...he is just exploring. He doesn't a__sociate the hand slapping with the "bad" behavior, so he will do it again. At this stage it is best to just keep things out of reach. You both have plenty of time to teach boundries! lol Good Luck! And also no I don't think when he gets a little older a slight tap on the hand is over the line. But it is still a little to early! :)

 

aliciavr6 - October 10

Try the bad tasting stuff you can put on, I know it'd be a pain to do it all the time, but he'll hate the taste of your hands (or whatever he bites)

 

meg - October 10

My ds is 13 months & still laughs when I tell him no. Although I do think that he is beginning to understand what no means. At 8 months, they definitely don't understand the meaning of no. I also agree with lily, if you don't want him to touch certain things, put them where he can't reach them or use a baby gate that doesn't allow him access to certain things. At that age, they want to touch & feel everything...it's how they learn & explore the world around them.

 

Tracy88 - October 10

I agree with the other ladies, a baby that small has no concept of boundaries and doesn't have the capacity to even process what that means. Putting the stuff away or using gates is the best alternative at this age.

 

pregnantjackie - October 10

I think that hitting sends the wrong message, even if it's not hard. It says that hitting is okay. My little 3 year old sister was hit over the head with a microphone by a little girl. When my Mom told her parents...they hit her as punishment. Hitting as punishment for hitting doesn't make any sense to me, or for any other reason for that matter.

 

DDT - October 10

A little OT but it concerns the punishment of hitting back for hitting...I don't agree that 8 months is a good time to be hitting as punishment because you ds doesn't understand. BUT my brother between ages 1-4 was a biter. And he pulled flesh. It became an issue. One day my Mom had had enough, he had bitten me VERY badly (chunk of flesh) so she bite him back. He never bite anyone ever again.

 

suze42 - October 10

guccigal, i understand your frustration..but i have to agree w/the other gals here. Touching and exploring is completely age apropriate for an 8month old..so punishing the behavior is confusing to them..they wont get it. As far as the biting it is also a very normal part of teething...it feels good..so try to have chew toys on hand to redirect the biting. I have slapped a hand when older...but im telling you...i dont like it. Because as the other ladies said, when they are 4 and they hit YOU, b/;c they are modeling moms behavior...it feels AWFUL! I only whack a bottom now if the behaviour is dangerous. And still i try not to...my DS is 5 and I can count on one hand....ive never felt good after ive done it and ALWAYS wish id found a better solution. So put up the electronics for awhile...this stage will pa__s...they all do! good luck.

 

guccigal87 - October 10

well you see i cant really put it up.. its already as high as my tv stand will allow... and then he pulls it down on his head.. which hurts.. and yea its like a big circle and he does understand he cant touch it.. cuz he goes towards it... and then looks back and goes further and looks and smiles.. i say no before he gets there and he will stop until i pretend im not looking and grab it.. and the hand slapping is doing good because first it would take like 20 taps and moves.. and now it only takes about 5 times... so if you honestly think that they dont know at this age you are soooo wrong.. they are way smarter then we think

 

bl - October 10

I agree with the ladies! I honestly can't imagine smacking my eight month old 20 times on the hand even if you think he's learning not to touch. Instead of having baby that bites, you could possibly have a toddler that hits. The other ladies gave some good advice. If you're willing to change a few things, I bet you'll see a difference.

 

catgiggles - October 10

gucciga I agree that they can learn no at this age b/c my ds is 7 1/2 months old and we are doing this with a candle holder i refuse to put up b/c we feel like if we put everything up then when we go to ppls houses that do not have kids it will be a nightmare. (We have put most everything up but this is not breakable and could not cause any real harm to him. He could just bump his head on it like he does on just about everything it seems) And he does know b/c today when I would say NO he would puker up his lip and cry and I did not even have to get up and move him away. So I do believe that they can learn at this age. He has been crawling for about a month and 1/2. He has been early on all his gross motor milestones. That put him crawling at 6 months plus he was a 34 weeker. I have extremely lightly spatted him before (no where near as hard and his slaps himself playing I mean I'm talking just barely). When we play w/ him we are so much rougher than that little spat was. It has bothered me for 2 days now and he did not even whine about it for a full second I'm sure the tad little whine was from being moved and not the spat b/c he didnt do it til he was moved over. What we do pretty much is say NO and move him away. Although dh is doing some claping and whisling at him after he says no lol Kinda makes me laugh like he trying to get one of our labs out of something. But I figure if it works thats great. Maybe I can be the Mom at the park that just has to whistle and ds will stop doing whatever he shouldnt.

 

Perl - October 11

No hitting is definitely not okay for an 8 month old. Put a barrier around your playstation so that your ds won't even be able to touch it--much better than hitting him 20 times which actually sounds pretty cruel even if you're not hitting hard.

 

Terio - October 11

Wow, I can't believe I'm still up at 3:40am, argggh. But I want to say that I doubt Guccigal is really smackin' her 8 month, lol. When we were little, maybe 2 or 3, my Mom used to swiftly tap our hands and say, "no, no".. and what she's probably doing is something similar. More to get our attention and show us that there are boundaries, and I certainly wouldn't have called that 'hitting'. Not wanting to get into a debate about whether it's *effective* when dealing with an 8 month old at all -- but just to point out that she's likely not hitting or smacking in the sense that many people are probably imagining.

 

kim00 - October 11

I'm sorry guccigal, but he's 8 months for hell sake's, it's not like he's in his terrible 2s and pushing your every b___ton. I do agree, they are incredibly smart, but at 8 mnths you don't smack their hand to get their attention. Simply tell him 'no' and move him away. He'll learn just as well that way, as compared to other ways. What's to come when he does hit the terrible 2s? That is what they do at this age is explore their world, and if the playstation is at his level then he thinks it's his world. That is why you baby proof your house. He will learn boundries as time goes on, but for now you need to remove the objects you don't want him to get to.

 

Kiersten - October 11

Hi ladies, barging in on your thread! :) Guccigal, I think what you're doing is fine. I'm expecting my first but have many siblings and have grown up around kids. I personally believe that a child 8 months old is fully capable of understanding what they're doing. I mean, look at babies. Not that they're bad when they do this, but they very quickly learn that crying gets mom running and they get the reaction they want. Kids are smart! I also don't believe in the "terrible two's". I think that its best to train them right from the beginning. I will NOT beat my child to any who are offended by my post, but a slap on the hand/bottom and a firm "no" is probably the way I'll go. I'm not saying that spanking is the ONLY way to discipline, but I've seen so many parents try to reason with their child as to why they should obey them. And when your son is looking at you and grinning as he moves towards the tv...he knows, little bugger! lol Hope things work out and that it doesn't get weird with your mil watching your every move. My mom always said that she hoped one day I'd have a kid just like me...now that's not nice! :) Good luck!

 

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