Is It Ok To Let A Baby Cry Yell At 7 Weeks Please Help Me

23 Replies
julieB - May 3

My son is now 7 weeks old and does not like his crib at all.. He cries for a long time and I (of course) have to pick him up to console him.. My husband gets upset saying that , the baby is spoiled and I have to let him cry and after a while he will get used to the crib.. I feel that he is just a baby and needs to be consoled.. I cant help but get angry at my dh for saying he is spoiled , even though I suspect he may be a little.. Is it ok to let him cry bloody murder when set in his crib?? Should I let him cry?? I hate to hear him cry so loudly and see his little face so red and tears streaming down his cheeks..Isnt it unhealthy?? It truly scares me, and quite frankly , it makes me cry.. Please , Please tell me what is the right thing to do.. My mistake was that he slept with me in bed for 5 weeks and he got used to it.. ..

 

Leahp - May 3

Hi Julie, I would say it ISN'T ok! I have a few books that say you can never spoil a baby under six months old. Babies really don't gain the self-soothing mechanism until about four months and at that age, I noticed my daughter still needed some frequent soothing, we even swaddled her up until then and just stopped her binky at six months, shes now seven months and I can lay her in her crib and she knows what to do, she may fuss, but it's never a full on cry with tears and with in five minutes, she's out! Seven weeks old is still very little and that little guy doesn't know what's going on!! He relys on your warmth, maybe give him a bottle or nurse what ever you may do and rock him to sleep, then place him in the crib, YOU won't spoil him, just know that he'll be a very compa__sionate person when he's older from all the nuturing you gave him. A book I recommend is "Happiest baby on the block" and Your baby week by week!

 

HANNAHs Mom - May 3

Hi JulieB...your baby is still so young and sounds like he just wants the comfort and warmth of his mommy. I am like you and can't (not won't...just can't) let my baby(s) cry it out....here is an interesting link I found. http://awareparenting.com/comfort.htm Good luck to you.

 

Bonnie - May 3

I am somewhere in the middle on this. If yo know for sure that nothing else is wrong and that he is just used to being in bed with you, then I say it is okay to let him cry to a point. However, you cannot spoil a baby that young either. What I would most suggest is for you and your DH to sit down and discuss a trategy that you can both agree on. It is difficult when you both have a different view but very important that you come to a decision together on how best to handle it. How about a compromise? Cuddle him now and do the CIO thing when he is older. If DH is worried about bad habbits they can be broken anytime.

 

Justine1 - May 3

I think its fine for you to pick your baby and console him - I've always done that with my baby.

 

HannahBaby - May 3

I think that 7 weeks is way to early to let a baby CIO. I didnt let my daughter cio until she was like 13 months!! Seriously. I had my daughter because i wanted to be a mother, and part of that is consoling your child when they are upset. I think that your husband is being ridiculous saying that your spoiling your child by not letting him cry.....and so what if you are spoiling him?? I spoil my daughter in every way everyday. (not giving her everything she wants, but with love) when she needs soothing or love, i am always here to pick her up. They are only babies for a short period of time so i plan on enjoying every single minute of it. Also, it should make your hubby feel happy that your son feels safe and secure in bed with you two. my husband was dead set against the family bed, until the day that we brought her home and she spent her first night between us. Then he was a total lush for her. We finally put her in her crib at 9 months.

 

Ca__sieSong - May 3

I know that there are a lot of people out there that still think you can spoil a newborn, but that just isn't the case... just like everyone already said. That is really "old school thought." My grandma was always telling me that I was going to spoil my dd even when she was only a few weeks old! That is what they were taught back then though. Some babies do need the constant "mommy attention" and you'll need to give it. He will grow out of it, even though I know it is hard to imagine right now. I also recommend Dr. Harvey Karp's book "Happiest Baby on the Block." It s great. If you ever use CIO, don't do so until your LO is 4 months. That is when we used it and it worked quickly and well. My dd is now closing in on 5 months and never cries when I put her down, either for naps or nighttime sleep.

 

julieB - May 3

thank you so much.. I feel so much better that I am Not spoiling my little boy.. He is my first and precious to me.. I dont want him to feel scared, alone and neglected.. My husband is quite older than me and does not have the patience for a baby.. I will have a long talk with him and compromise.. If I have to stay up with my son to comfort him till he fall asleep .. which is at 2 am just about every day.. .. thank you again.. and good luck to you all..

 

nic nac - May 3

i say not to let him cry it out. Babies that young do not know how to manipulate a parent into picking them up at will. Talk to any dr. At that age, they need to build a sense of trust and security. They need to know you are there. Remember, they are still getting used to the new world outside of your womb. Shame on your hubby for saying that. But to be honest, most men do say those types of things because they are ignorant. They don't know any better. When your son is about 6 months is when you can safely use the CIO method if you like, that's when they know what they are doing and they know how to push your b___tons. Please don't do it. Babies only feel abandonment when it is done at this age. And you as a parent are still learning what makes your baby tick. What makes him happy, sad, cry, smile etc. You will never figure this out if you just let him cry because he will cry out of feeling neglected and you don't want that. Good luck!!

 

Sarahsmommy - May 3

Everything I have gotten from the pedi's office has said to always go to your crying infant and comfort them until they are at least 6 months old. It sounds like you little one is use to warmth and probably the closeness of being in bed with you. Have you tried an infant posintier and swaddling? Both helped my little one. Also some suggest throwing the sheet/blanket in the dryer for a few mins before bed time so it's warm when the lie down. Have you tried a paci? Lots of babies that age need to suck to be comforted, and it's not hard to take away, most of the time. Also this may not be competely safe but I know for my little one she likes to have her little Eeyore security blanket by her face when she goes to sleep, I don't do it at night, only during the day when I can watch her. You could try that and once he's asleep take it away from him. And the last thing I would suggest is co0-sleeping is NOT always bad, as long as you do it safe. Of course that's a decision you and your hubby have to make but good luck.

 

jg - May 4

julieB we let our baby CIO from 2 weeks at our clinic sisters advice (she came to help us with the process) - it worked like a charm and our ds slept soundly from then on. We would always comfort him in line with CIO recommendations and he is a really healthy and happy 11 month old who has slept through (10-12 hours) from about 3-4 months. You are not a bad mum for letting your son cry a little (little, being the key word here).

 

nic nac - May 4

jg I don't believe in the CIO method before 6 months but how did you deal with it? Didn't it make you sad inside? Not judging just asking. BTW its nic nac from p&p. I know we have been talking a lot regarding religion on the other site I just wanted to let you know who I was.

 

Bonnie - May 4

We did CIO with Mason at 9 weeks old, again recommended from his doctor. The reason she had us do it so early was because of his weight and eating habits. CIO method is recommended by weight not age when tehir tummies are able to hold enough to sustain them through the night. He was 15 pounds and eating 32 ounces at the time. Did I feel sad doing it? Hell yeah! I was not to keen on the idea but my DH did it with his 2 children (I have 2 step kids that live with us) and the doctor was strongly recommending it so I agreed to compromise and give it one week and if it did not work then we did it MY way. Well, it worked like crazy! The first 2 nights were HELL, but after that....boom he was out 10-12 hours and has been that way ever since. He cries less than 5 minutes now, if at all. Some nights he is perfectly happy. I found at the time it was worse than labor. I cried all night myself. But it worked SOOOOO well. And the very next morning (and every morning since) Mason greets me with a big ole smile. Now I am glad I tried it as he sleeps so beautifully and has learned that he needs sleep. I told Julie that I was in the middle up above because I can understand her DH's point of view. There is no wrong or right. The only thing I would say he is wrong on is the spoiling issue. You can't spoil a 7 week old. But you can certainly teach them to sleep well at that age (provided he is big enough). Her best course of action is to come to an agreement with the DH. They need to decide together and compromise how they will handle things so they are both on the same page. Maybe try it his way for a week (one week is not going to cause psychological issues), or if she cannot handle that, ask DH to hold off for a while and give baby more time. If she does try CIO at that age, I WOULD speak to the ped first to make sure everything else is okay and healthy and baby is big enough. :)

 

julieB - May 5

I have to thank you all for all the responses :-) I am having my son sleep in his crib, in my room.. The only thing is , is that I have to rock him and talk, sing , play with him till about 2 am.. He will not go to sleep sooner unless he was in my bed.. My dh is absolutely unreasonable.. He will NOT compromise and vows that I can do whatever at this point and he will not tell me anything else.. I refuse to fight about this anymore.. I will comfort him but he will have to sleep in his crib.. I have a positioner in the crib and my ds just hates it because he cannot move freely .. but I will not take any chances if I am not there by his side.. My ds cries everytime my dh talks or picks him up, I think that makes my dh even more upset.. I dont want to sound stupid,, but what does the d in ds or dh or dd stand for?? I have always wondered even though I have just started to use it.. lol ... thank you all again..

 

julieB - May 5

my ds is pretty small, around 10 lbs.. only eating 3.5 oz every 2 hours, right on the nose.. he will cry for more than 2 hours if I listen to my dh.. I cant handle that.. I guess 2 am. will be my regular sleeping time..

 

amyh - May 5

I just can't let my baby cry it out yet and she is 11 weeks. We just switched her to her crib this week. I was worried, but I have to say she is having no problems. What we did was that we always put her in her crib before and after changings nad let her play with the mobile. She loved to hear it and watch it. THen, I think she must have gotten used to it, because she has NO problem sleeping in it. We also try to put her in a portable crib downstairs with us sometimes and that she doesn't like. We just hung a mobile up in that too in hopes of getting her to like it better. It takes some time, but it might work.

 

Bonnie - May 5

Julie, I think (I may be wrong) 12 pounds is the minimum for sleeping through the night so I would say he is not ready just yet. You may want to start SOME training with him though. If he is up until 2:00 am that is not good either. He is probably getting overtired which make sit even harder to sleep and far more fussier. He should at least be taking a nap no more than 2 hours apart. :)

 

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