Just Need Some One To Talk To

10 Replies
Deirdra - February 12

So yea, I feel like I dont know...Maybe im to young to be a mom. I love trent dont get me worng and i wouldnt do anything to change that he IS here. But what if I had gone though the abortion i thaught about? what would thinsg be like. I am 19 and a mom. Something I never planned...I am i am generally happy...mostly on the outside i have a black feeling inside...like something is wrong or missing? I just feel maybe im to young. Maybe this is wrong? MAybe im doing something worng? AMi being a good mom? I get frusterated easily and I dont mean too and when i relaize it i feel like c__p. I dont take it out on the baby more my Husband. and he is frusterated to. I think we might seperate. I dont want to lord know i dont. But we just i dont know. We dont fight to much but when we do its basically an all out brawl he takes off i cry and blah blah blah. and I think we are to young. I want this to work and i want to give my son the best life. i want to go to school and i want to work more but its so hard epscially seeing as how my hubby isnt veyr good with him...(dont bash him he is just unconfortable with the baby we talked about it...he thinks he is going to hurt him by hugging himt ot ight or playing to rough you know?)...the funny thing is i want to be pregnant agian. I loved my belly and the kciking and such...i just dont know.,..im rambling ill stop...thanks for whoever just reads..

 

lexa - February 12

Oh Deirdra honey...I thought things were going better for you! I'm sorry to hear you are having a bad day. It's normal to miss being pg and wanting another one soon. Just enjoy every moment you have with your son now. You are young, however, that doesnt mean you arent a good mother! Getting pg isn't always planned for everyone. It's how you handle the situation at any age! You sound as though you handled it well! You had a healthy baby boy that needs you and it sounds as though you really do love him. Having a new baby to take care of is a huge adjustment for both parents to deal with no matter the age. Its hard to adjust to taking care of a new life and does lead to a lot of arguments between new parents as they both try to deal with it. It sounds as though you are still depressed. Are you still getting help with that (please don't take that the wrong way)!?! Honestly, my dh was the same way with my son in the beginning. He thought he would hurt him too and he was scared of him. It was frustrating because I felt like I had to do everything. It caused a lot of greif for us too. We weren't ready at the time, but we dealt with it the best we could and wouldnt change a thing! He is wonderful now though and is great with our dd! things do get better! Just keep that in mind. I hope it goes better for you!!!! And we are all here for you.

 

Rhiannon - February 12

Don't worry Deirdra. A baby is a shock to the system. Nothing prepaers you for the utter dependence of a child. You are young and you have to do what is best for your son. Think about your relationship with your husband. If you don't see yourself with him in 5 years, maybe you should make the break sooner rather than later. Can you live with your parents? That would really give you a better life. (Maybe, I don't know your situation). Please don't get pregnant again so soon. I know, I miss the belly and stuff, but a new baby will not heal a breaking relationship. You have soooo many years to have another. Keep your chin up, and life will even out soon. You are going through a c___ppy patch now and I wish you the best of luck.

 

18wbabynov - February 12

hi deirdra.... i read your posts a lot- i feel like im in the same boat everytime i read something youve posted. i am also 19, and have a dd who is almost 3 months. my bf and i are totally on the rocks (not only because of the baby, but because he lives and germany, and i in the US). we fight all the time... i am very stressed out, and am trying to work, go to school (which i hate and feel worthless at). i totally understand how you feel... do you have msn, or aim or some type of chat thing? id love to talk, if youd like?

 

Deirdra - February 12

Aw thanks ladies i wanst expecting anyposts...i am normally scared to post these things b/c i normally get bashed and what not and i ma very careful in my posts b/c i dont want a drama psot...i just needed to get somethings off my chest and yes i am depressed still and i know how important to taking meds are but its just so hard remebering today is my moms birthday and i FORGOT! i thinks that is part of my issue im beating myself up because of that. Trent was sleeping through the night and now he isnt agian...so im exhausted and working ALOT more then i was at a job i absolutely love...i jsut dont know...i just wonder waht it would be like today if i did have the abortion....and ye si have both Deirdra1014 AT Hotmail.com and XxOxXIAmHisXxOxX for aim...

 

Rhiannon - February 12

We always wonder "what if" But I can tell you that if you had the abortion you wouldn't have a beautiful baby who loves you unconditionally. You are strong and you can get through this and whatever the c___phole we call life will toss at you. And if he is waking up agian it might mean that he is on the brink of a new wonderful milestone.

 

Deirdra - February 12

He is teething and chewing like CRAZY...and fussy to boot which isnt helping we just got over colic and now this...do you know how long after a MASSIVE increase in chewing is teeth gonna pop/.//

 

Rhiannon - February 12

Mine have been chewing like nuts for about 2 months. I have no idea when they are gonna pop, but I keep sayign that for all of thier fussiness, they better get all of thier teeth soon.

 

Heather F - February 12

Deirdra - things will get easier and settle, my baby was planned and I had thoughts such as the ones you are having when she was first born. Having a new baby that is dependent on you is a daunting task - things will settle and it will get easier - and it will go so fast you won't believe your eyes. Soon your ds will be approaching 1 and he'll look at you adoringly while he giggles with admiration for you and you will wonder how you could have ever conceived the notion of aborting him....getting there is the hard part, take it one day at a time, live in the here and now and every night tell our self you did a good job for the things you have done that you are proud of such as working hard at your job and providing the best family for your son that you can. You are doing a good job, be proud of that! Don't focus on trying to fix everything just go day to day. Good luck!

 

Deirdra - February 13

Well I sat down last night with my hubby and dicussed how i was feeling. The talk actually went alot better then i thaught...Josh explained to me how much he DOES love trent and how much he loves being around him its just trent intimadates him and josh is jealous how trent is so good for me and i know all his cries and such, i told josh it takes time and patience and that he has to spend more time with him. Josh told me he was going to try to help me more. which in him at least trying will help...lol... last night he helped me fold a giagantic load of babies cloths and it actually turned out to be something fun between us...he told me how he thinks we have a perfect relationship and yes we fight but he pointed out we do get over it very quickly and we can dicuss anything... mostly when we both cool off we sit down and have a heart to heart to fix the problem the fight was about. he told me he loves trent and he does wnat another baby and if my IUD fails it does and he'd be happy about it. he also explained that if anything did happen and i became pregnant agian he would help out ALOT with trent so i could deal with the new baby...so i guess just talking to josh has helped. i honeslty didnt expect the talk to go as it did. im relieved and now im considering another?

 

lexa - February 13

Im really glad to hear things are better for you now. See, not only do you have us to talk to, but it sounds like you have your dh too! That helps there! He will come around with Trent. It just takes time. A lot of men are intimidated by new babies. They are afraid "they'll break". As Trent starts to get older, he will interact more. And it could be that Trent senses his anxiety when he holds him, which will make him a little fussy too. All he has to do is ease up alittle, and Trent will adore him the way he does you (Im sure he does already, but he'll show it more). It will all work out eventually. It will just take a little time and patience for everyone! Good luck and keep up the good work!

 

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