Lazy Or Just Busy

9 Replies
Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - September 21

My husband doesn't say he thinks I'm lazy, but I know he thinks that. My daughter has had really bad sinus congestion (3 and a half weeks old) and she is pretty much fussy all day. I do as much as I can, but when the baby is crying I would rather rock her and make sure she knows I'm there, she don't nap for long either but I do as much as I can when she is asleep. Does that make me lazy, or does that just mean I tend to my daughter the way I'm supposed to when she isn't feeling well. On top of it my allergies are acting up and I feel like my head is about to explode. I do know my husband thinks that being home all day with a baby means I have ALL the free time in the world. Which I don't. My daughter ALWAYS has to be held. She don't let me put her down unless she is sleeping. If I don't talk with her or play with her she gets EXTREMELY frustrated. Someone please tell me it is normal. Once I get into a better routine with her I know I can manage both, but right now she is sick and I want to tend to her first and foremost. My parents always raised us saying that loving and touching a baby helps them get better faster because thats the time they need it most and if they get it, it puts them in a better mood. But just need some reassurance, I don't want to be branded the lazy house wife/stay at home mom

 

Gretta - September 21

Wow! This sounds like me and my DH just now - we are moving and he wonders why I can't find time to pack a box or do whatever errand need done whith baby in tow. He isn't mean about it but I know he secretly thinks I am watching tv all day or something and the funny thing is I don't ever get a chance to watch tv anymore. My mom told me that they just don't get it and never will. When my dd was sick I sat in the chair and rocked her for three days - they are only this little for a short time and once its gone its gone so i say do what you want and try to not feel too guilty but i totally understand!! I actually want to tell my DH that we need to stop competeing over whose day is harder - my day is not hard or difficult its just that its totally dedicated to our daughter while she is young.

 

JerseyGirl - September 21

I think our DHs should stay home for a week and see what it's like. I'm lucky enough to have a full-time work-from-home job, but even still, my 14-week-old needs constant attention. Just this week I had a nanny start and she'll come 3 days a week from 9-3, but even with that, I can't get as much done as my DH thinks I should be able to. It's so annoying! He could NEVER do what I do with the baby, whether or not I had the nanny.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - September 21

As I told my sister, he thinks its easy because when he has the baby, if she cries...he gives her back to me. So of course he thinks its easy, whereas if we have the baby and the baby cries...we can't just give them to someone. We take the time to tend to their needs.

 

lmk - September 21

Hi Nerdy, I was thinking ... do you have a baby wrap? It allows you to wear your baby around, and keep your hands free. I ordered one and I'm planning on using it with my baby for a month or 2 even if he's not crying. Maybe the comfort of being next to you could keep your lo calm and since you have your hands free allow you to do more of whatever else you want to. There are many diff kinds...I ordered the one by Parent Inventions. GL!!!

 

pregnantjackie - September 21

Whoever thinks a stay at home mom is lazy needs to give it a shot for a few days. I have a bjorn active baby carrier and I can actually clean in it, it works wonders!

 

Allisonc79 - September 21

I wish I could just focus on our daughter but I am also trying to finish the last semester I have of college. She is sick right now and sleeping on my chest. My problem is I don't want to put her down. So other things are hard to accomplish when your holding a baby. I have a few short periods where she is content in her swing or boucer. Does the vacuum sooth her? My lo itleast lets me do that b/c she likes it, even goes to sleep with it on. You could itleast have really nice carpet, lol.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - September 24

Yeah, I want to get her a swing, the carrier and much much more so she at least has something. But my husband doesn't think its important right now. Since I don't have a job and my husband is the one who makes all the money I can't exactly go out and get everything

 

jen327 - September 24

Just like me!!! I even wrote I kind of am ready to work, minus how sad I am to leave DS, but I feel lazy all day. He has reflux really bad and is really fussy and DH used to make comments about how nothing was getting done. Then last Sunday I made plans to go out all day (on purpose) and left all the milk DS needed and after a whole day he went out and bought me flowers and a card. He said he totally appreciated me and how much attention DS needs. I guess he thought I just sat on the couch all day and watched TV. But having him home alone for the whole day totally worked!

 

KLT - September 24

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - so your husband thinks those things you want - carrier, swing etc... are unnecessary - but he finds it necessary to work all those extra hours to buy you expensive jewlery... Hmm. I just don't understand the logic. What you are going thru with your daughter is normal. My son is constantly wanting my attention...clinging to my leg and I can't do anything around the house - I don't think it makes you lazy.. being a mom is a full time job and then some and unfortunately some guys just don't get it.. I don't think they can ever phatom how tough it is.. and then they come home from a full day at work..huff and puff about how tired they are...makes me sick.

 

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