Might Sound Crazy But My FIL Is Driving Me Crazy

7 Replies
BusyBee - February 9

Some of you may have read my post a couple of days ago about the giant elk head that (almost) was brought into my home. Well, I have realized that the problem is not the dead head, but my FIL! He has become waaaaaaaay too intrusive since we moved back into our home town last year. He believes that I am trying to get dh to stop hunting and fishing - I have never done such a thing! He is a redneck to the extreme and I think he believes in his tiny little brain that all women are out to stop him from hunting and fishing somehow. He told my dh that he thinks dh has his hands full with me!!! My dh is a resident doctor and works crazy hours and ds and I don't see him very much. When dh does get a free Saturday, FIL would like him to go ice fishing or whatever. And when dh says, you know what dad, I think I need to spend time with my wife and son - FIL interprets that as me manipulating dh!! I am so frustrated!! I work so hard as a sahm. It is because of me that dh has clean clothes to put on, his lunch packed, supper on the table, a clean house, and a happy, healthy son. And I want to spend a little bit of time with my dh when he has a day off and FIL wants a cut of the pie too - or else I am "controlling" and "manipulative." I just want to punch him in the head!

 

ashtynsmom - February 9

I don't blame you. I would be pi$$ed off, too! I would just ignore your FIL and let your DH contend with him. If your hubby wants to stay home with you and your son, that is great. His dad needs to take a hike!!

 

k.p.j.e. - February 9

Hi busy bee. Man can I relate to this one. My MIL is an angel and I love her just as much as my mom. But my FIL...he drives me nuts. (MIL and FIL are divorced.) To make it worse, he is rich and he gives us gifts every year like a paid vacation to Maui, $1000 gift certificates to high end stores, everything you could hope for, but it's not worth it because he is such a pain in the a__s. He is always trying to get my hubby to do things like go out to "t_tty bars" (his words, NOT mine) with him and his brother. Also he just remarried for a 3rd time and his new wife is totally submissive. It sounds like in your situation you really miss your hubby and your FIL is being totally selfish. He probably just doesn't understand. I am with you...punch him in the head! :)

 

BusyBee - February 9

k.p.j.e., LOL, your FIL sounds very similar to mine! My FIL is very materialistic and gives us expensive gifts as well, which sometimes makes me feel kind of guilty. He is also on his 2nd marriage. His own kids will tell you that he was a terrible husband to their poor mother. And yet, lately, he feels that he can dipense marital advice to me and dh! Thanks FIL, because you are the role model for young people who want to make a marriage work!

 

piratesmermaid - February 9

We had this problem until we finally moved to the other side of the country, so I can totally relate. My dh and FIL used to hunt together all the time, since dh was a little boy, well, FIL thinks I can be too clingy and won't let my dh be a man and go hunt. He doesn't get that the reason my dh hasn't been hunting in a while is 1) work and 2)$$$. We just moved and it's expensive to get a hunting license in WY!

 

kellens mom - February 9

Do you think that your dh is somehow turning the tables so that you look like the bad guy? Maybe he does not want to hurt his father's feelings, so he throwing in hints that you are the problem. Your FIL must be getting that impression from somewhere... My dh does that with his buddies all the time when he does not want to go with them. "Mama says that I can't come play". First of all, he never told me that he told the boys this so I have to hear it from them "so you wouldn't let him hang out with us huh?" Second, it makes me appear like the b...tch. Have you discussed your concerns with your husband? He is the key player that can clear this whole thing up. All he has to do is say "I want time to spend with MY family".

 

k.p.j.e. - February 9

Exactly, my FIL always tries to give us marital advice. It's insane! Hello, 3rd marriage? There's the first clue that his advice is worthless to us. It's so hard isn't it, you want to tell him to f off but it's your beloved husband's father...what are we supposed to do?!

 

BusyBee - February 9

Kellen's mom, yes, I think that dh could do a better job of sticking up for me. I think it's convenient to say that I don't want him to go hunting/fishing with his dad rather than telling his dad that he is tired or really just wants to spend time at home with his family.

 

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