MIL Trying To Give Me A Used Car Seat

20 Replies
Mae - January 24

Hi ladies, I need to know a nice way to let my mother in law know that I am not comfortable using this old car seat she keeps trying to give me. My son is needing to go into a convertible car seat, and she got one from a bingo friend and she used it with her 2 boys who are 8 and 6 now...I won't even use the one from my 9 year old...this car seat just seems too old and I simply don't trust a used car seat...How do I let her know this nicely?? (sorry, I needed to vent, too)

 

jg - January 24

Perhaps thank her very much, but say that car seats over five years old (or whatever) don't comply with safety standards anymore so "unfortunately" you will have to buy a new one as even the one you had for your nine year old isn't suitable anymore..... I don't envy you having to do this - I HATE having to refuse things - the number of people who have offered second-hand teddy bears......my boy will want to suck on them straight away - NO WAY!! I tell them he has far too many toys already so thanks but no thanks.

 

Mae - January 24

oh, it's so hard with my mother in law cuz she's the nicest lady on the planet, and he's her first grandchild...saying it's a little too old sounds good.....the catch with all this is, I have a 9 yr old (prev. relationship) and now my 8 mo old...mil's niece also has a 9 yr old (prev. relat.) and a 15 mo. old...so whatever SHE does, mil thinks is correct......maybe I'm a little dramatic about it, too...Husband says, don't say anything, she'll forget about it, and we'll buy a new one...(I let him be the bad guy-teehee) thanx for responding so quickly...oh i'm rambling..

 

Barb - January 24

my mil wanted to give us an old crib she had gotten when our first daughter was born...13 years ago! ( and even then it was a hand-me-down crib)I hated to hurt her feelings too bc she's SO nice...but I just told her I thought it wasn't safe anymore and she seemed to understand.It's a tough one...good luck!

 

Jbear - January 24

Maybe you could ask her to keep it for her car. My mom keeps a carseat for my older girl, so that we don't have to take out the good one from our car if she takes our daughter somewhere.

 

Mae - January 24

JBear...that's a good idea...he'd really never be in it frequently...I was reading all the older questions and someone said that there is an expiration date on the underside of the seat...oh, barb, I could name some crazy things people have tried to give me....esp. with my first, cuz I was young...used, obviously stained cloth diapers, used binkys, anyone else get weird used baby stuff?? ps, don't get me wrong, i love hand me downs and stuff if they're still in good condition, y'know??

 

Jbear - January 24

My mom bought a bunch of double-knit polyester outfits for my first daughter, with bellbottoms and huge collars...they all reeked of mothb___s too, so we couldn't try out the baby retro look. Then she bought me a bunch of baby boy clothes, because they were cheap at a garage sale. Now that she's seen how I dress my kids (from the thrift store but only really nice stuff) she doesn't try to give me any clothes for them anymore.

 

CEM - January 25

Does the seat meet all the safety requirements? If so, you could use it, no? Otherwise, just say what you told us, "This car seat just seems too old and I simply don't trust a used car seat". There is nothing wrong with that, and you're not being rude at all. He's your son after all, and if you're not comfortable with the seat then you reserve the right to decide not to use it.

 

Heidi - January 25

My MIL tried buying a used seat at a sale once and I said no. You don't know if it's been in an accident or whatnot or if there have been any recalls. Just simply say it's too old and not listed under the maker's website for recalls so you don't feel safe using it. Yeah I've tossed some odd stuff out too that people have given me. I love getting used clothes as long as their not stained.

 

Jenn - January 25

yeah-I understand-my MOM-yes my mom-God love her but she is off her rocker at times-called when I was pregnant with my 1st son and said she had a highchair for me-she said it was used but in good condition. So I took a day off and planned a trip bc she lives an hour away to go get it. Well, It didn't even have the plastic covering that it was suppose to have with it-it looked like someone made a cover and that cover was old and had MOLD on it!!! I was like-"umm, MOM?" and she said that she had meant to clean it up but didn't get to it. So I asked her where she got it and she said that it was sitting on the side of the road!!! Good place for it I thought!! Well, I told her that it was gross and I appreciated the thought and that I don't mind used stuff, just not moldy. She understood. She doesn't have a lot of $$ and tries to do what she can. also, my grandma-(hope this crazy bug isn't genetic) gave me used underwear from her sons (my uncle's) wife's kids-she has 4 boys and said that "they all used them just fine." Anyone see a problem with that?? Yeah, these undies were raggedy and I thought everyone had a turn in them-plus, my son wasn't even born yet-I accepted generously and pitched them as soon as I got home!! Yuke!!!

 

Narcissus - January 25

I would just say, "No, thank you" bc you are not sure if it meets the current safety requirements and you are not willing to find out the hard way.

 

C - January 25

Do what I do and keep it in the bas____nt! I would just tell her you have one but this one will be great to use in your hubby's car or as a backup. That's if you really think just telling her the truth will hurt her feelings? I would really think if you explained to her that it's not recommended to use a used car seat she would understand. I'm sure the safety of her grandchild would be top priority?

 

Meredith - January 25

Jenn - used undies!? That is bad. haha

 

karine - January 28

i think jbears advise its the better one LOL....tell her to keep it in her car. just make sure its properly tied up...you never know? you might need it for emergency when your there.

 

hp - January 28

Its amazing how older generation moms still keep their children's old stuffs. My son is 4 months, and I'm ready to get rid of some of his stuffs (like clothes, basinet,etc). My MIL has been giving us dolls, silk blankets from the ancient, they were old, raggety, have been collecting dust in her bas____nt storage :( She even still has diaper changer pad that's stained badly. I told my husband to NOT let her change our son using the pad. I understand your dilemma Mae :)

 

FF - January 28

My MIL is the garage sale queen, and I don't mind stuff that's in good condition... but sometimes it's just... questionable! Don't get me wrong, I love a bargain just as much as the next person. It's just that some stuff I have trouble with. I've done a whole lot of gracious accepting, then chunking once home! ;)

 

Christy - January 28

You could lie and say you looked it up online and it was recalled.

 

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