Mil Vent AGAIN

55 Replies
Felisha - February 11

i have vented about this women before but today she really hurt me. dh and i decided that it is best for me to be a stay at home mom. he used to work at night and made ok money but since dd i have been a little scared over night and asked him to take a day shift job. in order to do this he had to take a 2 dollar and hour pay cut and we were making ends meet before. well his mother came into town this weekend and was at my house uninvited all day long. first she nit picked about how dirty my house was (there were just a few dishes in the sink and some laundry in the basket and i needed to mop) and then she started in on how i am a selfish person for staying at home all day while dh is at work and making my family struggle she says ani i quote " you should stop being so lazy and stop thinking about just you and get a job" i wanted so bad to kick her out of my house. normally dh has saturday off but he had to work yesterday and i called him in tears telling him to get home and do something about his mom. he came home and told her it is our lives and our baby and is she wanted to continue being welcome in MY home then she had better either start treating me with respect or get the h__l out and not come back. this was the first time dh has ever stood up to his mom like that for me. i was so proud of him. she immediantly gave me a unsincere apology and left. but i am still really hurt by what she said about my house and me being selfish. i shouldnt have to justify anything to her. i dont work for good reasons and dh doesnt want me to work he likes coming home to dinner and a clean house and if i worked there would be no time for that. thanks for listening ladies i needed to get that out

 

Felisha - February 11

bump

 

Ca__sJ - February 11

What is it with people thinking stay at home moms are lazy? I would be mad too. You should tell her that she can watch the baby all day and see how spotless the house is when she gets done! I'm glad your hubby stood up to her. Good for him!

 

ash2 - February 11

Sorry you went through this with your MIL...however, i am in no way defending her, but now that you are a SAHM...the house could be a little more in order than it was. Not saying it should be spotless, but since you are at home, between the baby and naps , im sure it could get done. Sometimes a clean house is nessacerry when you have LO's at home crawling all over. Not spotless, but at least sanitary. Im sure it is though : ) I have to work full time and have 2 children, and pets, and my house in in really good order. Not saying also that SAHM's have all the time in the world, but if i can do it with my busy schedule, then i hope you can find time.....good luck !

 

vonzo - February 11

Without causing a fight as thats the last thing i want to do, i think that felisha just wanted a bit of support, not to be made to feel like she wasn't doing enough. I know that wasn't your intention ash2, but to me peronally thats how it came accross. Anyhoo noone can keep a spotless house 24/7 and look after ababy 24/7, there just aren;t enough hours in the day. If your house isn't up to her "high expectations" then she doesnn't have to come visit you. Next time you go to hers im sure you would find a few things that hadn't been done. Try not to take it to heart too much, you and your family are healthy and happy and that is all that matters at the end of the day!! xx

 

ash2 - February 11

I wasnt saying that her house had to be " spotless " ( as i stated many times in my post ) ....all i meant was now that she is a sahm, there is no reason the house could be cleaned every once in a while. I wasnt intending on starting an argument.

 

ash2 - February 11

BTW...before anyone else thinks i am being " heartless", i just want to say that i have been a sahm before, and i know a clean house is not unheard of just because you have babies all day. Your MIL should have worded it differently, though. She probably tried but it came out wrong.

 

k.p.j.e. - February 11

Oh I am so sorry! We all have different definitions of how "clean" a house should be, I myself am obsessed w/ keeping the kitchen and bathrooms spotless, and the carpet vacuumed, but the bedrooms? Almost always messed up. It's just a matter of prioritizing...we can't have everything picture-perfect for our MIL's or our own mom's! Guess what, as mom's and especially sahm's, we are in charge of how the house is, and if it's good enough for us, it's good enough. As long as we aren't putting our kids in danger or driving our hubby's crazy, who cares? She needs to LEAVE YOU ALONE and NOT call you lazy. (I am sensitive about this subject...) Whatever reason you don't work outside the home, you don't need to justify it to her. Is your husband happy? Your kids? You? Ok that's all she needs to know.

 

mandee25 - February 11

My MIL rarely comes over to our house and she only lives 25 minutes away. I guess I am lucky. I don't even talk to her on the phone. We don't have much of a relationship but at least we don't fight. Felisha, she was totally out of line by saying what she did. I like to keep my house in order but I am not a perfectionist anymore when it comes to housework and I really had to work at this. If there are a few dishes in the sink, who cares! Some laundry, big deal! Babies are not babies forever and you probably want to enjoy them while you can. I know I do. I am not using this as an excuse to be lazy but look at it this way. What do you want your kids to remember about you as a mom? You scrubbing the floors everyday and telling them you don't have time to play with them or memories of you down on the floor playing with them?

 

Felisha - February 11

ash 2 a few dishes in the sink and a load of laundry is no big deal i dotn hae a washer dryter at home so i have to go to the laundry mat and i didnt mop the floor because of the snow on the ground everytime ppl come in the floor get dirty again. and yes you were defending her. she had no right. yes i am a stay at home mom and yes i do have time to clean and i do clean i cook 3 meals a day and kepp the house clean but i refuse to mop the floor 3 times a day. i mop in the mornings when dh is at work and dd is only 9 wks not crawling yet. so thanks for making me feel worse about what mil had to say

 

ash2 - February 11

okay, what part of " sorry you went through this with your MIL", or " your MIL should have worded it differently " didnt you understand ? Again for the last time ...i am not defending her, i am just stating that she probably didnt know how to tell you thats all. Geez, if all you know how to do is twist my words around, then im done giving anymore advice on this topic....What else do you want me to say ? Do you think everyone agees with everything ? I will be the first to tell you that if i believe in something that i feel strongly about, then i will state it. Take it with a grain of salt if you want to, but i thought i was being rather nice about it when i first responded. Im done.

 

Felisha - February 11

so ash2 i suppose you have a dishwasher and a washer and dryer in your home that makes it easier on you. i dont have those conveniences in my home. you are the one who should have worded things differently if you didnt want to come across offensive. my floors stay vacuumed and my bathroom stays sanitized my shleves stay dusted. my house is not always perfeclty clean i dont wash the b___ter knife everytime i make toast. i am by no means lazy, sleep deprived yes but no where near lazy. and your opinion does matter i am glad you have the energy and the modern conveniences to help you with the house work but i dont and if there is a plate in my sink i am sorry you feel that makes me lazy. and if thats not what you ment then REWORD

 

Felisha - February 11

and i said in the first place my house wasnt dirty that it was a few dishes like a cup and a plate 1 load of laundry and i needed to mop since when does that make you house out of order

 

kiddingyourself - February 11

ouch. ash2 you got told!!!! lmmfao . finally someone put her smart a__s in check. WAY TO GO FELISHA!

 

ash2 - February 11

Felisha, everyone knows that you are " kiddingyourself"....so stop kidding yourself and grow up. Just because you may look like a troll doesnt mean you have to act like one. Besides...havent you posted like 10 threads today already ??? get a life.

 

Felisha - February 11

am i supposed to be offended by your shilish remarks. ash 2 it sonds like you need a life and i post more than one thread so questions can get answered if you have a problem with them dont read them. sounds to me like you need to get a life and you need to be put in your place. name calling is for children. i just hope your dont turn out to be as big of a b___h as you are.

 

ash2 - February 11

okay, now who is name calling ?? tisk, tisk !

 

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