Mommies W Preemies

11 Replies
luviduvi - March 5

As you know, ds was 5 weeks early. He is know a 5 month old stapping young man....healthy as a horse. I am so greatful however I continue to carry some guilt over his prematurity. When I think about what he went through and how he didn't liked to be touched and this and that I get overwhelmed with emotion. I know that things happen for a reason and that he came out strong but I can't stop saying to myself had I done this or that or taken it easier yada yada. I can't talk about when ds was in the NICU b/c I still tear up. It was all so sad and I can remember every emotion. Is this normal? Do any of you continue to have some guilt (even though we have nothing to feel guilty about)? My family feels I am way too protective of ds and I guess that is b/c I feel like I couldn't protect him from the start. I feel like I am constantly trying to make it up to him...........

 

ash2 - March 5

Hey luviduvi....i didnt have a preemie, but my nephew was born 15 weeks early. My SIL went through days where she didnt want anyone around because she was so deppressed. It will pa__s, and you will feel normal again. He is still so young. You couldnt have done nothing to prevent it ! Dont beat yourself up over it and just enjoy him. The most precious moments are happening right now....so just enjoy : )

 

luviduvi - March 5

Fortunatley, I haven't been depressed. I just have thoughts. Wow, 15 weeks early? I hope baby is okay. Thank you for the encouragment

 

mosley12 - March 5

Hey luviduvi my ds was born 3 weeks 1 day early. although he was a healthy weight and lungs were mature ( due to being injected with steroids while still in my womb) he had pnemonia and had to spend 10 days in the nicu. i refuse to look at pictures til he was about 7 days old and had all the monitors and wires, except for an iv in his foot used for his antibiotics, removed. i blame myself constantly for what happened, and think maybe if i didnt worry like i did, if i took my bed rest more seriously and didnt walk around the house as much, if i woud have been able to somehow lower my bp, if i wouldnt had to have been induced, than maybe he would have been ok. maybe he wouldnt have been sick. i too am very protective of ds, and cant stand for him to be out of my sight. since he's been born, ive been away from him at the most about 5 hours in one time, and then he was with my mom, and i was constantly calling to check on him. everyone says babies are ok, babies get sick, blah blah blah, but until someone has to walk out those hospital doors and drive home knowing that there baby is still inside that hospital, with the nurses, not coming home with there mommy like they should, they will never understand our need to protect them. sometimes i feel like i need to protect him even more now, since i wasnt able to do everything it took to make him be healthy when he was born. ds is now 4 months old and as of today, i have been told he is in perfect health and a strong solid little boy. i cant tell you if you'll ever get over feeling guilty or over the protectiveness, because im still wondering that myself.

 

Kara H. - March 5

luviduvi - How long was he in NICU? Max was 6wks early, but I was under a PHENOMINAL amount of stress in the weeks prior due to lots of preterm contractions (plus I had 3 m/c's before this pregnancy), which actually turned out to blessing in disguise. What I didn't know is that the stress hormones the body releases act just like the steriod and matured Max's lungs so he was able to breath on his own. But he struggled with sucking and lost 12% of his body weight. It was horrible. I still feel a little bad when he gets weighed and is still in the 12 percentile for weight. I wish my body could have held on a bit longer. But then I see him next to his full term counterparts and I see that being preemie did have some advantages. He is more socially, emotionally, and cognitively advanced because he has had more experience hours logged. So its not all bad. And your little guy is healthy now. You have nothing to make up to him. You got him far enough for the medical team to bring up the rest of the way home. Be greateful that he is healthy and strong. You did a good job and he knows it. :)

 

luviduvi - March 6

Thanks girls....cole was a NICU baby for one week. He was on 100% oxygen for 4 days. It was devastating....I had been taking steroids since the 28th week and he still couldn't breath.....hmmm

 

mosley12 - March 6

LuviDuvi, did they give you steroid shots? i was given two shots in my 32nd week, and they said that was all it took. when cayden was born, even though he was born and had pnemonia, he needed no help breathing.

 

luviduvi - March 6

I was put on steroid pills at 28 weeks. I have a clotting disorder when I am pregnant which can cause me to bleed out and no epidural. I never got the shots b/c I had been on steroids for so long. BOTH my docs, my reg obgyn and my high risk obgyn thought it wouldn't be a problem. Just lets you know, first comes science and then comes God.

 

srigles - March 6

Luviduvi, my ds was also 5 weeks early. Even though he's a healthy 4 month old, I still get all emotional when I see pics of him or any other baby in a nursery in isolettes with tubes and wires hooked up to them. One of the worst parts for me was leaving the hospital with tons of flowers and gifts.... and no baby. That still makes me get teary. I just felt so empty, even though I know he was getting excellent care. Leaving your baby in the hospital has got to be the worst feeling ever. And I guess I blame myself for being completely stressed to the max through the whole pregnancy - maybe he wouldn't have been early if I'd been relaxed and hadn't developed high blood pressure. Plus, I had to take meds when I got pneumonia, which really freaked me out. I guess all the emotions will go away in time - don't beat yourself up, just be thankful every day for that precious little baby.

 

jacksonsmommy - March 6

My son was born 8 weeks early due to my water breaking. He was diagnosed with ecoli meningitis and stayed in the NICU for 6 weeks. Afterwards, he had 4 brain surgeries in one month and we were in and out of the hospital for the first 3 months of his life. It was the most challening time of my life and with the love and support of our families and church, we came out of an even stronger family. I am thankful for every day I have with him and I cherish each moment. He is now a healthy and happy 5 month old baby. His size is in the 3 percentile and he has occupational therapy once a week. Aren't babies wonderful miracles?!

 

mosley12 - March 6

wow jacksonsmommy, your little boy is such a fighter and so strong! i remember being in the nicu, worried to death about my baby, but knowing i should be thank ful cause so many of the other babies were worse off. some of the moms gave me looks like "why are you here? your baby is fine" because he never looked sick. i felt bad being so worried about ds. just yesterday, we were told for the first time since he's been born that he is in 100% perfect health. it was the best news ive heard. i couldnt imagine if my ds had to endure what yours did. when i was pregnant, they told me he had a double bubble and may have to have surgery as soon as he's born. luckily it was just a shadow on the ultrasound and he was ok. but ok..now im just rambling..lol..but im so happy all our babies turned out to be so strong and amazing!

 

srigles - March 6

Jacksonsmommy, that's fantastic. What a miracle baby. I'm so glad all our preemies are so happy and healthy. We're all so lucky!

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?