Mothers Day Past Present Question

20 Replies
Sprinkles - April 18

Here is what I am wondering - On Mothers day .. Does the father of your child get you something or treat you special on this day? If he does - does he have the mentality it is on behalf of your child or is it from HE and your child - The only reference I have to this is my own father who always does something for my mother even though I am grown and do something for her as well because she is the mother of HIS child so he feels he should celebrate her as well .. Now I just wonder if that is all men that share that mentality or if most men look at it like - "Well your not my mom so why should I do anything for you .. but I will get you something from the kid ..."

 

amanda17 - April 18

I know a lot of husbands that buy something for their wives on mother's day. Even if their child is grown and can get her something themselves. I don't think it's part of the tradition, it's just a nice thing to do.

 

DDT - April 18

We have always gotten something for my Mom as children, and my Dad would get something small like flowers and a card. My dh might get my lo's to make a card for me and then buy a gift on behalf of everyone. That is until my kids are old enough to actively participate in the gift buying/making. With my very first Mother's day (with ds1 who was only 3 months old at the time) dh got me a card and a necklace with ds1's amethyst birthstone pendant. It was really nice...so I may hint that I want the same thing for ds2 (birthstone is the emerald). Maybe a bracelet though.

 

Sprinkles - April 18

Aw see that was sweet DDT .. Yeah I don't know violets dad seems as insensitive and selfish as they come and he is also totally oblivious to it - The other day he was asking me what violet should get me for mothers day I was like nothing don't worry about it - and he is like ' well ok i just figured I would get you something from her since your not my mom ' .. he is such an idiot cause that statement made me so mad .. he doesn't know how to speak to me without offending me I think lol but I really think mothers day will come and go and he won't get me anything and a part of me will be disappointed and I just wondered if I have a right to be - cause my dad maybe set the standard too high and maybe I expect too much from people .. but I know for fathers day it will be a different story cause I treat people like I like to be treated and I cannot even imagine not getting him something ..some token of recognition as her father .. but again that is just me I guess. Sometimes I really think I am bad at picking mates. Ah well .. my dad still gets my mom stuff and takes her out - any chance he has to do something special for her he does... he is a good man.

 

amanda17 - April 19

No I know where you're coming from... I think I would be a little offended if my baby's dad didn't get me anything. It just seems like common kindness, you know?

 

mjvdec01 - May 5

Mother's Day is for your children to honor you as THEIR mother, and for your husband to honor you as the mother of HIS children. It is obvious that he needs to be planning something nice for you, and helping to orchestrate something nice from the kids if they aren't old enough to do it themselves. I have a 3 year old daughter and a 9 and a half year old son. My hubby always does something like a ma__sage, and a day of whatever I want. From the kids he plans an art project, lets my daughter chose a card for me and helps her to write in it. It seems your guy is pretty insensitive, or maybe all you need to do is express to him how important to you it really is. In some cases, you need to flat out tell them what you want and need. Have you tried sitting down with him and talking to him about it?

 

mjvdec01 - May 5

sorry, my son is 9 and a half MONTHS, not years.

 

clindholm - May 5

My dh usually gets a gift and card for me on Mother's Day. The first time he asked me what to do and I said "I don't know, but it better be good" lol. Anyway, this year I have a big birthday, big anniversary and Mothers Day all in the same time frame so my dh planned an entire day for me about 2 weeks ago. It started with a rose and card in the morning with a note detailing the day he had planned for me. First, an appointment to get my hair done, then lunch with a good friend and then shopping. In the evening, we went for a fantastic lobster dinner and then back to the Crown Plaza for the night. There was champagne on ice and a hot tub. Best of all, he left very early in the morning and I had a few hours to soak in the tub and read a book. It was just wonderful and so unexpected. My dh is not very romantic so I really appreciated it. Sprinkes, I hope your SO gets with the program and does not disappoint you. I would drop some hints, he needs to appreciate that you are the mother to his child and should be honored for the loving care and selflessness which we as mothers exhibit every day.

 

fefer1 - May 5

my husband has always done something nice for me - gifts, flowers, whatever, and had a card from my kid/s. :) They are only 2 1/2 and 10.5 months. I told him he better be remembering me after all the pain and suffering I went through to give him his 2 kiddos. :) He is very sweet and pretty much spoils me over the entire weekend. haha..

 

gbsmom - May 5

It could be that your SO is insensitive, or it could be that his family had different traditions than yours for these types of events. With my DH and me, I come from a family like yours with lots of appreciation and gifts, but DH's family doesn't make a big deal out of any events/milestones. Because of that, I don't get a lot of giftie-type things from him, but I can't consider him insensitive for not doing things the way my family did. That's marriage: the two of you are now a combination of your different upbringings, for better or for worse. The only way around that would be to marry your brother! :)

 

Sprinkles - May 5

Hi Ladies! I see my post made a comeback lol I forgot about this one for a little while - gbsmom ..I actually had lunch with his mother the other day and we were talking and you are right on with that one because she was saying how his dad never does anything for her and his dad never did etc etc and that she gave up a long time ago on them and anyone ever doing anything special for her .. I actually felt bad for her but that is how I brought it up to my SO .. I told him wow I feel bad for your mom because your dad never does anything for her for mothers day - that is surprising (cause his dad is a pretty nice guy) and I was saying how it isn't about being THEIR mother it is about being the mother to their child and all most women want is a little acknowledgment or something cause LORD knows when he does something he wants that .. he didnt say much just kind of took it in so maybe it will sink in who knows.. I have tried talking to him about what I kind of look for in a relationship and we always end up in a fight so I try and find ways around saying something and that typically works .. we shall see .. O and by the way it really sounds like you ladies have some awesome men :) Lucky lucky lucky!! I was telling my SO's mom that I was in a relationship where I was the one to do all the 'caring' like I did everything for him and then it was me doing for him and him doing for him and no one doing for me - and that I will NOT be in that situation again for some women it is ok but not for this one .. I have no problem taking care of my man and thinking of him and doing sweet things for him but I do want him to want to do that for me too .. otherwise I will be single and do for me and that will be that.. maybe she will pa__s it along haha

 

fefer1 - May 6

well, this might make you all laugh. I got a rifle for mothers day. :) I got it early as we're going out of town. He was afraid I MIGHT not like it but I think it's pretty cool. lol - we visit his family in kansas and always have to go shoot for fun - and I think it's fun. :) I know he has something more traditional too but I had to share. :)

 

mjvdec01 - May 6

WOW! Is it pink?

 

Sprinkles - May 10

Well I just thought I would come on here and update - It is official lol he gave me squat .. not a card not flowers nothing from him OR my daughter's behalf ....I got myself some stuff though haha and my baby girl gave me lots of kisses today almost as though she knew so that was my gift from her - but he didn't know I got kisses ..and he sent me a TEXT saying happy mothers day which mind you 25 other people did for me too - friends ex boyfriends you name it .. they all wished me a happy mothers day ... I guess I expected him to do something more then everyone else did being as how this is my first mothers day with violet ..he and I are supposedly dating and I am the mother of HIS child.. he is so pathetic .. I will be breaking off with him real soon cause to be honest it's not the gift .. it is the thought that matters to me and if he can't even get me a card or something more then a text then I can't be with him I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who is that insensitive I am sure for another woman it would be ok but for me I have some sort of standards and I feel I deserve to be treated a certain way and if asking for a card on mothers day is too much then screw that I will stay single. LORD knows I always get him stuff and think of him .. ugh .. so disappointing. Ok thanks for listing to my rant haha

 

Sprinkles - May 10

haha I called him on it and now according to him he got me something he just 'forgot' it and said he will give it to me tomorrow haha right ... whatever ! LOL

 

micsmms3 - May 11

Poor you, how dissapointing, I thought after that conversation about his mom- that he would get you something. Mine gave me flowers and a card from he and our dd. I guess he met my expectation? I try to keep my expectations low for his sake. I had a few hopes of him doing something around the house for me, like giving the dogs a bath or finally hanging the towel bar and tp holder... ( I have the tools to do it with in the bathroom (hint hint!!!!!!).

 

Sprinkles - May 12

haha aww yeah they just don't get it sometimes - He tells me I am soooo hard to shop for but I'm not ..all he has to do is pay attention kind of like I DO ! O well it is what it is I guess .. My Mothers day was a great one though after all.

 

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