NOT ME I Just Needed To Vent To Someone

9 Replies
newbie - January 19

i guess im going through the emotions. not really sad because of him but more mad at myself. i dont know how i let someone tell me that i am stupid or that i dont need to talk because i have nothing to say and then hit on me for pointless reasons. why does someone need to feel in control of someone else what makes people that way???? . my mother stayed with a man who abused my sister and myself because she had a drug habit he supported and I remember telling myself i would be damned if a man ever did that to me when i got older, and here i was doing the same (minus the drug habit) sometime i think he was making me crazy. you can only hear how stupid and worthless you are as a person for so long before you start believing it. and this all didn't start until after we got married but he started small when i was pregnant and then called me unfit because i went through mild pp after she was born and asked him for help. i was 18 my first child and she had colic i wasn't sure of what i was doing so i asked for help but because i couldn't do it all on my own i was unfit and stupid. I've felt so alone for so long that it doesn't even hurt to actually be without him.I AM NOT GOING TO BE HIS VICTIM I will not be a trophy for him to show off how well he contains his wife. i can't be that woman. i don't want to feel like property i want to be myself and not worry about if i am going to be punished for it..... that's who i am going to be ME.....and im trying not to let him off so easy so im filing for child support but i know he will only quit his job so he doesn't have to pay. girls get this his mother works with abused women and single mom's, but she had the nerve to tell me once( the time he called the law on me after he dragged me off the bed and got on top of me and started hitting me and then called the law on me for trying to defend myself) that she was sure i provoked him when he hit me. how lame is that. yes i provoked him i asked him why he said he would be home at seven and didn't come home til three that morning. yes im sure i provoked him by asking a question, and i am sure i should be ashamed of myself BUT IM NOT!!!!! =


Renea - January 19

Newbie--I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but you are a strong, courageous, responsible woman for getting yourself and your child out of that situation. I'm sure the road ahead may be a little difficult, but you will get through it. My prayers are with you. Remember---we are all here for you!


LisaB - January 19

Newbie- You are a very strong woman never forget that. You have a long road ahead of you and I know you have the strength and courage to take on anything that comes your way. You are stronger than you know. You soon to be ex (doesn't that sound nice) has a problem but you no longer do. You mil is a MORON but she will I am guessing protect her son no matter what so don't listen ti her. Shes an idiot. Your not and you have proven by leaving the most important thing you can do now is not go back. Who cares if your ex quits his job so he doesn't have to pay child support my aunt raised my cousin completly solo and also got a degree and is a nurse now- she did it all alone my bf is raisng a confident, sa__sy, funny little girl on her own- her ex owes her over 10,000 in back child support. It can be done and I know you can do it. There are a millon resources out thre for you if you ever need help in finding anything or need support give me a holler! Yeah you BIG HUGS


Lisastar9 - January 19

Come here to vent all you want. You did the right thing by leavingand will be doing the right thing by staying away. Good for you.


ashtynsmom - January 19

From what you have said, you know that you cannot go back. Even if times get hard (lonely, financially, etc..) It will never be as bad as it was with him. I personally would rather be flat a__s broke and live on wellfare, food stamps, whatever I had to do, than to fear for my life every day. Don't worry about taking "hand outs" from goverment or other a__sistance- that is what they are here for. Do whatever you have to do to stay strong for you and your child. Your MIL sounds like a real loser, like her son. So you are much better off without either of them in your life anymore!


piratesmermaid - January 19

Go You!!!!! You are a very strong person for leaving him and we will always be here to support you. :)


Felisha - January 19

glad to see that you are ok


lexa - January 19

Newbie.....I'm so glad that you got out! You and your daughter will be better off and can live a full, healthy, happy life! As for his mother...she's going to defend her son. It is very lame I know, but we all take care of our children. I'm sure deep down she knows..especially since she works in this field. She knows the warning signs, but yet she'll be blinded by them when it hits close to home. I would just stay away from her too. You aren't a victim anymore. Thanks to the strength you found in yourself, you won't be a victim, nor will your daughter be. And you are not crazy by any means for asking for help in taking care of your children. Crazy? I think it shows love and compa__sion for wanting to take care of them properly! You be yourself and have fun doing it! Live your life now. You deserve it. Your children need to see what it's like to be happy! Good luck to you and we are always here if you need a shoulder!!! Good luck!


ash2 - January 19

Newbie, hang in there ! You will get through this soon ! The first few months are the hardest. Just remember about your child, he could have been the next " victim " glad you are okay ! I have been thinking of you !


Lchan - January 19

Newbie - I'm glad that you left him this week. Recognizing how bad your relationship was, and what a horrible person he is, is your first steps towards healing. You asked why someone else would belittle someone. The answer is simple: He has little self-value so he has to belittle someone to make himself feel better. You then said that you wouldn't be his trophy. Only small men see their partner as a trophy. Real men see their wife as their partner and best friend so they respect them. Your MIL seems like she was abused too. Sometimes abused woman are the best enablers of abusing men. Try to not discuss your divorce or ex with her, she won't understand. Congratulations on the first step towards your wonderfully new life!!



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