OT Dh Family Is Driving Me Crazy Vent

4 Replies
punkin01 - February 27

I have the best DH in the world but his family is driving me nuts and when he tries to talk to them about what is bothering me they tell him it is the pregnancy hormones talking!!!!!!! for example when DD was born his mom would give me the third dergee about using powder on her bottom at EVERY diaper change..(i couldnt get it through to her that when she had kids they told you to use it but now they say dont) ..she was dressed to warm or to cool not enough blankets....she didnt like the bottles we used or the fact we used a paci.......i could do nothing right...even though i had a 15 yr old son from a previous marriage!!!!!! and his mom also said that my DH couldnt have kids just because he was a preemie?????no medical tests or anything no dr saying this.... so when i got preggo with DD she kept saying dh wanst suppost to be able to have kids .....i took this as she was saying i cheated on him when i confronted her she claimed she meant it as a miracle....after she was born she says DH cant deny her because she looks just like him he just tells her "i am not denying her she is mine and i know it" then when she overheard us saying something about keeping DD swing carseat and etc because we wanted antoher in 2-3 yrs she remarks in a very p___sed off voice "why do yall want to do that to me?" wtf what will we be doing to you except making you a grandma again that should make you proud and happy.......then when DD was 11 mos old we found out i was preggo (i was on the pill and NEVER missed one) man she was PISSED!!!!!!!!!!then his grandma and aunt had their part also his grandma said DH shouldn't change her diapers or bathe her that was not a fathers place WTF!!!!!!! if you see anything besides a daddy changing or bathing his DD you have the problem!!!!!!and she is always telling us how to spend our money and asking if we paid mortagage or power bill and etc.....DH always just tells her yes or no he is honest WAY TO HONEST sometimes...so if he says no we had this or that come up we will pay it next time she hounds him till next pay day about it ....i knew nothing of this until one day i was on the phone with him on his lunch break (his grandma lives like 1 block from where he works so he keeps food in her fridge,that we buy and goes to her house to fix sandwich and eat and spends time with her,she raised him a good portion of his childhood and he is close to her) and i heard her nagging him in the background so i asked him how she knew so much about our bills ( our washer had broke so we bought new one and was going pay our house payment the next week when DH had big overtime check and we contacted mortage company and they were fine with it because we are on time ) anyway i was p___sed so he and i had a good long talk when he got home that it was none of her business and he said he agreed but he had always told her stuff like this and she had always "told him what to do" about his bills so i told him he needed to tell her to butt out and not tell her anything else........so he did next time she asked he told her nicely that it was our business and it was between us .....well now she is going around saying i hate her and trying to come between them!!!! no that is not it i just want our finicial business to be private......then she makes comments about how are we going to afford the baby i am preggo with now if we are have so much problems now !!!!we are not !!!!!! we are current on everything and even stocking up on diapers and wipes and such for when i am out of work for 6+ weeks......and because DH is lining up to help a friend on the weekends for that 6 weeks that has a lawn care business because we will be short my pay check for at least 6 weeks. this dont mean we are behind just that we are thinking ahead..and i f we go out to eat and she finds out she nags the h__l out of us how i should have cooked and we wasted money no i am pregnant and my hubby wants to treat me to dinner instead of me cooking !!!!!! .......then his aunt is saying something is wrong with our DD because she "wont talk" she is 16 months old and she says bunches of words at home around me and her daddy but she refuses to say anything in front of other people....kinda like the post i read earlier about they are making liars out of us!!!!! that is my DD........and i love her and my DH AND DS and soon to be DS but his family can kiss my ass!!!!!!!!!! thanks for letting me vent and sorry so long....................................

 

shelly - February 27

punkin that sounds awful.they are tryint to get to involved.your fianances are nothing to do with them and they should respect you for saying that its your own business. take no notice of his aunt saying that about your dd. my mil said because i didnt take ds enough to see her that was the reason why he cried and was funny with her[making strange she called it] i tried to tell her they go thro those stages but she wouldnt have it. i had lots of problems with my inlaws then i put my foot down and screamed at dh and he sorted it out but rather to get an easier life than actually agreeing with me on certain thinks i think. theres nothing worse than when they say its pregnancy hormones,its not its because they are a pain in the neck. i would try to keep out of their way as much as you can and make sure dh stands up for you.good luck x

 

mandee25 - February 27

Punkin, your inlaws sound horrid! Mine aren't that bad. I NEVER talk to my MIL on the phone though. My dh is older so his parents are 60 and 70 years old. My MIL commented the other day slyly, "His arms feel cold" about my son when we visited last weekend as if I hadn't dressed him appropriately. I felt like rolling my eyes. I used to hold my tongue before ds was born but now if she says something out of line I speak right up and it shuts her up. She is always making little comments to pis me off and she knows it but I try and stay away from them as much as I can. On the other hand ds's sisters are very nice and I get along with them fine.

 

LisaB - February 27

Sounds to me like your dhs mom needs to find a hobby besides being a pain in the a__s! I would look into senior travel vacations and day trips and sign her up so she starts getting the info find resources for her to have a life then maybe she will stay out of yours! Ofcourse you must do his w/out her knowing cuz she sounds like she would flip if she found out but in my expeirience people that aren't happy with their lifes tend to focus a ton of attention on someone elses!

 

punkin01 - March 4

thanks to each one of you that took the time to read this and give advice...i have that anyone has to go through inlaws like this but in a way it is a comfort to know you are not alone either.........

 

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