OT Dd Using Great Grandma S Death As Excuse

2 Replies
tnmommyof2 - March 1

My dd is 7. Her great grandma (my dh grandma) passed away on New Year's Eve. For the 10 months or so before she passed away, I would go to her house and take care of her in the mornings (kids in tow) and then right before she passed we were forced to place her in a nursing home but we visited alot. Anyway, anytime my daughter gets in trouble or anything and starts crying, when you ask her what's wrong, she says she's crying because she misses her grandma. I know she misses her but we don't want her using her death as an excuse. Do any of you guys have any advice?

 

CyndiG - March 1

I would just be straight with her. Explain, that you understand that she misses her grandma, but that is no excuse for her behavior, and that there are consequences for that behavior. Then you have to follow through. BUT, explain to her that she can talk to you about her feelings anytime. The best approach is the straight forward approach. Good Luck!

 

Brittany - March 1

First off, I want to send my sympathy. My husbands grandfather pa__sed on New Years Day and MY grandfather is now in the hospital, the doctors say he won't make it another week so we'll be traveling home to say our goodbyes in two days. As I was reading this, it brought me back to my past back when my grandmother died. I was 7 or 8 at the time. That Christmas my sister and I wouldn't go to bed after my mom kept coming in and tucking us back in haha. We stayed up and sang Christmas songs and my mom came into the room to hush us AGAIN and we told her we were singing to our grandma and I remember my mom having tears in her eyes (after that she let us sing sing sing haha). I know this isn't too much of a similar situation but maybe this is the way your daughter is grieving. I never really grieved for my grandmother back then because I didn't know how to. Anyways, I'd like to say that your daughter isn't using it as an excuse, she is just grieving. Now if what she is doing lasts for a year, then it's probably true that she is using her behavior as an excuse. It's tough for little kids, they don't quite understand death, I know I didn't back then but I knew my grandma was gone and we sang to her that Christmas night, I think it was our way of missing her and grieving for her.

 

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