OT What Do You Say

5 Replies
punkin01 - February 10

i was just wondering what some of you guys do when some one "butts into" your business and tries to tell you how to parent your child even though you didn't ask for advice.......examples.......DH has an aunt that NEVER had children yet she wants to tell me how to do this and how to do that .......grandma says it is wrong for DH to change DD that is my job and her daddy shouldn't be in the room....(the way i see this is if you see anything other than a father changing his daughters diaper then you have the problem) so i asked her if she felt the same about boys (i am preggo with a boy now) so should DH change him all of the time and me leave the room and she replied no i should change ALL diapers ....whatever!!!!!!........and on the topic of circ_mcision we have already made our decision(i wont post what it is dont want to start WW3 and i dont want advice on wheater to or not....i dont mean that to sound rude but i have seen on other posts someone will make a comment about their beleif and the next thing you know it is WW3 and drama central) since we found out it is a boy everyone thinks they have to tell why we should or shouldn't have it done ............our DD was born in Nov and we didnt put shoes on a newborn except for pics and stuff then when summer came we tried putting sandals and cute shoes on her she hated them then cold weather came and OMG she would picth a fit like you have never seen till they were taken off....everyone had to voice their opinions bout that she was learning to walk (inside the house now not out where there was glass or rocks or things to hurt her) everyone had to give their opinions bout he not wearing shoes.....she is 15 mos now and running and we finally did find a pair of shoes that she likes they are lite weight and she will not cry at all to have them on the others some were kinda heavy (that may not have nothing to do with it i am not sure i just know this is the first and only pair she will wear)but soon as she is home she wants them OFF and you take them off and she reaches down and takes off the socks and hands them to you it is so cute.........but anyway what would be a good way to handle unwanted comments??? i dont want to be a smart ass so to speak but just to let whoever know i will ask for assistance if i need it but not to give me advice unless i do indeed ask......thanks..


punkin01 - February 10

anyone please help


Felisha - February 11

just tell them just that.you dont have to be rude about it but letting them know that you are infact their other and you will decide what is best for you little ones. and when you start putting them in harms way is when they can open their big mouths hope this helped i find that it is easiest to just be blunt and get your point across if they get mad or affended then they will get over it


Rabbits07 - February 11

If ignoring it isn't an option, I would just say something like, "Thanks for your advice and I'll take it into consideration, but my husband and I have talked about how and why we are going to do things since we are the parents. I'll keep your advice in the back of my head though in case things don't work as we planned."


vonzo - February 11

I'd tell them to BOG OFF!!! And then id realise i was saying it in my head :o) When people say things like that to me i tend to glaze over, smile and nod whilst mentally undressing david ha__slehoff...try it, it works!!!!


punkin01 - February 11

thanks guys i will try it especially vonzo's except i will have to try george clooney but i am just really sick of everyone b___ting in...and i have noticed it is DH family......mine realizes my son was the test child so to speak and even then i didnt get all of this advice....i got preggo with my son at 17 and i overheard my mother on several occasions talking to friends/realitives that she thought i would have him and pawn him off on her to "raise" and that i wouldn't have a clue when it came to taking care of him .....and i wanted to be a mother to my son ........maybe not so soon but hey i played so it was time for me to step up and be mommie now so i did.....i never asked them to baby sit unless it was like dr appt or something needed not just so i could go be a teenager......and i too was afraid of taking care of him because i had done some baby sitting but just for a few hours not 24/7 but it was like it just came natural....i overheard my mom on several occasions after that saying how good i was with him and she had to beg me to keep him ...and that i took excellent care of him and hardly asked for help....so that made me feel good .....sorry to get long winded i guess what i am saying is that if this was my first child i could see it but i am preggo with my third and my first is 16 and all parts still attached and he breathes in and out just like you are suppose to and my 15 month old DD is the same .....so why do they feel like they have to tell me how to raise her and already giving their 2 cents on baby boy that is not even here yet........my hubby tells them to b___t out that my son is doing just fine and i raised him alone ...and like i said my family dont tell me how to do anything it is just his.........thanks for the advice and letting me vent



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