OT A Little Adoption

17 Replies
new mommy - January 30

has anyone given up there baby for adoption kinda late? my baby was 3 weeks thursday and i want to give him up, its really better for both of us, considering my age - thats another story - but i dont know if its to late, and even if its not, i would feel so mean. i dont know what to do

 

olivia - January 30

No, it is not too late, please go find a real person to discuss this with. it could be the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby, or it could be a mistake. It really depends on you and your situation. There are many wonderful people out there looking for a son or daughter to love. It would not be mean if you are doing what is best for you both. There are open adoptions as well, you could still see and be in touch with your baby if you choose. Please go talk to someone at a church, hospital, or school about this. Best of luck as you decide.

 

jay - January 30

no it not to take my sister placed her baby for adoption when she was a lil over a month old. she found a great family for her, we get pictures, and letters all the time. i wish u the best for luck, and if do go with adoption take ur time and look at all the familys u can to get the right one

 

Jbear - January 30

You need to look at your situation and make sure it's not postpartum depression making you feel this way. Maybe a counselor could help you figure it out. (Not that there's anything at all wrong with adoption, but most of us are very tired and emotional the first few weeks after a birth, sometimes it's hard to figure out what is a real feeling and what is caused by hormones) Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

- January 30

where do u live??

 

new mommy - January 30

i didnt write much before, so im just gunna add this - i didnt really wanna put this, but im gunna add my age, im 15. i have only talked to one person about it, my mom and she thinks its just post partum and ill get over it, shes not taking me seriously or anything. ive been feeling this way since about 2, 3 days after his birth and it hasnt changed much. i do wanna wait it out to see if its just horomones but each day that goes by i feel even worse because then its harder for him as well if all the sudden he has a new family. to help see if it was just depression, my mom took him for the past 2 weekends on saturday and let me go out to have some time off, but it didnt help either. i dont know if any of that helped anyone help me better, but i hope it did. Thanks.

 

new mommy - January 30

Canada, Ont***

 

BB - January 30

You can't really talk to your mom about this. It would be easier to talk to someone who is impartial. I would talk to a counsler. Your dr can help you with this or find someone you can talk to. How come you didn't think about this while you were pregnant?

 

?? - January 30

What part of Canada?

 

CEM - January 30

New mommy, you need to talk to someone other than your mom about this. This baby is her grandchild so it's only natural that she's biased. I don't know you, so can't say if what you have is post-partum depression or not, but it sounds like it could be. Please talk to someone soon, a counsellor at school, your, doctor, a friend, a friend's mom, anyone. You need to do this right away because things will only get harder the longer you wait, if you decide to give him up that is. Come back and let us know how you are and what you decide to do.

 

Christy - January 30

I agree with the above posts. Your mom probably wants to keep her grandchild more than anything so she will try to talk you into keeping him. You should talk to a social worker, minister, or counselor about this. The fact that you are considring adoption is not mean. You want what is best for him and yourself. If you end up being resentful of him b/c you kept him or constantlt berating yourself for not being able to provide for him, that is not going to be good for either of you. However, if you have ppd, then it is best to get that hashed out before you make this decision. You don't want to give him up and then majorly regret it a couple months later once your hormones and brain chemistry go back to normal. In any case, it absolutely is not too late. My ex was 4 months old when his parents adopted him.

 

Heather F - January 30

to new mommy - my biological mom decided when I was 2 years old that hse could no longer be a mom and gave my twin and I up for adoption. Even at 2 we adjusted to our new family quickly - a 3 week old new born is very resilient, if you decide adoption is best he is in no way to old, and it is never to late. There are familys that have been wating a baby for years, and they wouldnt think twice about opening their arms to a 3 week old baby or even a 6 month old baby, because they just want to be parents. Seek out a counselor to help you weigh the pros and cons because adoption is not something that canbe overturned and once its finalized you can never change your mind. There are many ways to be a good mom and making the ultimate scrafice so you baby can have a better life would make you a wonderful mom. Good luck, and please seek a counselor that can help you make the decision.

 

new mommy - January 30

To: ?? - around Toronto To: BB - i didnt think about it when i was pregnant, actually when i was around 5 months i got papers for it, and me and the dad filled them out, but i never handed them in to start looking for a family, i dont know why though. i guess i thought i could do it, but the reality of it changed my mind

 

karine - January 30

Mu suggestion is....talk to a counselor like others have said. see what they have to say. As we dont really know you. i think that your mom probably got attached to this baby as well..its her grandchild. maybe you should think of letting your mom adopt?? i just cant imagine my grandchild being taken away. After talking to the counselor...if you both think that you still dont want the baby, atleast offer your mom the ooportunity to adopt, before finding a family. (but thats just what i would do)

 

momma - January 30

I agree with everyone see a counsler or social worker, it isnt too late to put the baby up for adoption if it is the bes solution for you both, if it comes to that maybe your mom could adopt that (my freinds autn was in the same situation and her son was adopted by her mom) that way the baby will still be part of the family otherwise an open adoption might be a good option then you and your mom can visit and get pictures best wishes and good luck with wahtever you decide

 

BB - January 30

Hey new mommy keep us updated. It may also help you to talk to someone who has been in your shoes. Teen moms or even people (like my mom) who were teen moms. I will keep you in my thoughts!

 

- January 31

 

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