OT No Fun For 180 Days

20 Replies
AnytimeLittleone - January 28

Next week, my little girl will be 6 months. Time is passing so quickly. I was sitting and watching her today, basking in her cuteness, when I realized that she was sitting there wearing designer clothing, while I was wearing spaghetti stained track pants. I then realized, that Ive been so wrapped up in diapering, feeding, bouncing, baby pleasing, that I have not had ANY fun since she was born (laughing at her cuteness doesnt count.). I had a mild rant about this with my hubby (as he's been out of the house on several occaisions with friends without the baby), and he told me "you go out all the time". Now I ask you ladies... should a trip to walmart, with dd, to buy diapers, be counted as "going out"? Im struggling to find some fun, and some alone time. I knew motherhood was going to be time consuming, but isnt 180 days without fun a little excessive?

 

sophandbob - January 28

I have to say I completely disagree with you, whilst I can see your point. Unfortunately I am one of those super sad (some might say - I don't!) women who doesn't want to go out anymore. The 5 months since my son has been born have been by far the best of my life. Every single minute with him is fun. EVERY single minute! I have been out on a few occa__sions, and on most of them have spent some time crying because I am away from him (I have the seperation anxiety - he doesn't!) Please don't think I am bashing you here, or trying to make out or start anything, as I'm not. I did say at the beginning that I understood, and no popping to walmart does not count as 'going out'. I guess I'm pointing out that I might be completely the extreme.

 

Lisastar9 - January 28

I would say going to walmart without dd is Not going to socialize . It is going out in my books though. Any time away from any of my kids is considered going out. I am not a socializing type of person. And when they are older and I am not needed 24/7 ,I will have time them. I am happy witht ehe way my life is. So go ahead adnask t=your dh for some Mommytime with the girls.

 

vonzo - January 28

I understand how you feel anytimelittleone but if you were to go out away from your baby i can bet that you'd be sat there worrying about her. Not due to the lack of ability the person you've left her with, just because you're her mum. I had a part time job with my dad over xmas and i left my dd with my mum and it broke my heart, i was constantly worried about her and there was no need at all as my mums had 5 children. Since that finished at the end of December i haven't been out on my own without dd. My dh took her and the dog for a walk today without me to let me have a bath and i was that used to being on the go all the time i couldn't relax and spent the whole 2 hours sanding and painting my bannister. It stopped me from wishing i'd gone with them too. Needless to say i got an ear bashing from dh when he got home for not relaxing :o) I'm sure your dh wouldn't mind letting you go out for a night with your friends or have one of your parents look after her so you and dh can go out together. If he thinks wall-mart is going out say to him "fine well for the next 6 months you cant go anywhere but wall-mart" see how he likes it :o)

 

AnytimeLittleone - January 28

I feel like I should clarify.. Im not asking for a night out at the club.. or a weekend in the bahamas..! A haircut and a manicure might be nice... (and dont worry sophandbob, I completely know what youre saying... no arguement here!)

 

vonzo - January 28

I knew that, sorry if it came across like i didn't. :o(

 

Kara H. - January 28

I guess I'm lucky since my hubby talks to a lot of the guys at work that have families, and he would just tell me to have some "ME" time. I knew he meant well but sometimes it came out a little rough. Like he would say, "You look like hell. Go get your hair done, buy your favorite makeup, and pick up few new pieces of clothing. I know you are still losing weight, but you look like a frump." Yes, harsh I know. but I DID feel a lot better when I put on a new pair of jeans and a new long sleeve tee from old navy or where ever. I would only shop of the clearance racks, but he made me promise not to come home with anything for the baby. I would get mad at him sometimes for it, but you just feel better when you look better. No, walmart isn't socializing, but it does help just to get out of the house to go anywhere somedays. I love being a mom and I love my baby, but I have to thank my hubby for reminding me that I was a woman first.

 

AnytimeLittleone - January 28

Vonzo, my comment wasnt directed at you, or anyone for that matter. I just thought I should specify, incase someone should think I want to club, rather than attend to my child. We all know how people can a__sume on this board...

 

piratesmermaid - January 28

So agree with you, but luckily it hasn't been JUST walmart for me, primarily, yes. I did get to tour the bathhouses in Hot Springs, AR with dd and the inlaws, and hubby, dd, and I went to the zoo a couple times. I don't like bar hopping or going out in that since either, never did. I don't want to get my nails done (hate it!) or my hair, that just doesn't do anything for me, but I would LOVE to hit a gallery opening or spend the day at the museum. *sigh*

 

cae - January 28

I agree, I dont think going to walmart is considered, "going out". Many women after becoming a mom, look at their life before baby as their, "past life". Yes, being a mom does mean you have different priorities, but that does not mean you have to forget or stop doing what you like before. What did you do before that you enjoyed? For me, I like to go to the movies with DH or friends, dinner, bowling, playing cards at friends, going to the casino, going for a run, having friends over for games, wine, cards while baby is over at gandmas, etc. All these things I dont do as much now, but I still do. I think it is VERY important for you to have some time for yourself and with your DH. A person does not have to put their life on hold while they raise another. You live your life while raising another. It can become difficult a times, but with the help of your DH/family/friends you can do it. Go shopping, get cute ouft_t. Make it clear to you DH that you need some outings with your friends(without baby) also. Good luck. A happy mom makes a great mommy.

 

CyndiG - January 28

Anytimelittleone, I so got a kick out of your post! I knew you weren't saying omg, I hate being a mommy, I hate this kid, I hate this life. I thought it was funny, and can relate!!!!! Yesterday, I told my dh that I would like to take a nice long hot shower ALONE. He says to the girls in a very condencending (sp?) tone, come on, your mother would like to take a "private" shower. OMG! I think men are just stupid! :O)

 

Kara H. - January 28

Cyndi - I think I would start crashing HIS shower with the girls and see how he likes it!!

 

CyndiG - January 28

I did today! It was fun. I took the baby in there and said, here, give her a bath! ;O}

 

AnytimeLittleone - January 28

Ha! Ive handed the baby to my dh while he's been in the shower too, and he looked at me like... "what am I supposed to do with this..?"

 

Rabbits07 - January 29

I've not been out alone with friends in around 13 years....no kidding! I've been out with friends WITH the kids in tow a couple of times, but that's it. All of my used to be friends are into the clubbing scene and I'm not so when they go out that is what they want to do and I'm just not into that. Even some of my friends that I've made more recently are partiers. And to be honest I don't really get invited places too much...I guess people a__sume if you have 6 kids you don't have time for anything else! I don't count Wal-Mart as going out, but I'll take what I can get!

 

rl- - January 29

well I have a girls night every so often with my sil and some friends from work and you know what I told dh that I need a couple of hours every so often to laugh with the girls eat my food while it is still warm and have a gla__s of wine or I am gonna go mad LOL....so as much as I love my boys I gotta get a break and I live in an all male household so some girl time is just wonderful and we don't do much just dinner and a gla__s or two of wine and I am home before 8pm in most cases

 

USMC_wife - January 29

LOL....I totally know what you are saying. I've had to explain to dh that being at the house in the middle of winter with 2 kids can be a bit much at times. All I really want is some "adult interaction" time, which is often talking to the lady at the video store!!!

 

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