OT Wanting To Go Back To Work But I Feel Selfish

6 Replies
kristie h - December 19

Hi Ladies, before i had my DS who is now 3 i had a full time job. They had no light duties that i could do so i had to go on maternity leave when i was 4 months pregnant with ds #1. After i had him i rang my old job up to see if i could go casual but they required only full time work so i told them i wasn't going to go back. DH and i decided that it was best that i stayed home due to daycare expenses and thought if we had a 2nd child sooner then i would go back to work full time and to kill two birds with the one stone if we were to have our 2nd child sooner while i was already not going back to work. Well after i had DS #1 i had two miscarriage then had trouble ttc so it took longer for ds #2 to come along. DS #2 is now 3 months old and while i thought i wanted to be a sahm all of a sudden I'm wanting to go back to work casual. I rang my old employment up and they said there may be a position coming up in the new year and if there is they will give me a call. I am pretty sure there will be a job there for me as they were looking for someone in the department i was working in a few weeks ago and its hard for them to find someone that is qualified for the position they are looking to fill. I love being a sahm but i have a very strong urge to get my independence back and to want to contribute to the house hold but most of all i feel there is more to me then just being a sahm. DH and i have goals that we want fulfilled but we cant achieve them on the one income. I feel i am staying home and just watching the wheels go around. Do you think i am being sh__lfish toward ds #2 as i spent more time at home with ds #1? Am i being selfish for wanting to be more then just a sahm? I only want to work 3 days a week 8 hours a day. We can afford to live off dh wage but cant afford to save a great deal. While the job i might be going back too isn't great pay it will be good enough to save for a deposit for a house and for it to get us where we want to go in life. IDK..........What do you all think?

 

mjvdec01 - December 19

If you want to go back to work then you should. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Like you said, it would only be three days a week. Go for it.

 

Krissy25 - December 19

I am having the same thoughts. My dd is 4.5 months old and while i would never go back to the job i had b/c it was too demanding i know someone who said to talk to her when i'm ready to work b/c there would probably be something for me, even if i just wanted part-time which i do. It might really work out b/c my MIL stays at home all day and she wants to take care of her and my mom is off during the summer so she could take her some days too, but i just don't know. We are in the same situation b/c we don't need the money but it would be nice to build our savings, we will need to move someday. I feel guilty thinking i might want to do this but i would like to get out of the house some and i think i should take advantage of grandparents who want to watch her for free.

 

lmk - December 19

Kristie, It'll probably be a lot easier for ds#2 to get used to daycare than #1. I think you need to go to work if that's what you want to do. Otherwise, you'll end up feeling resentful towards your kids. It's more important to spend the time with them when you're home in a quality way.

 

kimberly - December 20

I am a mom of 3 kids and I stayed at home with my first until he was 5 and started kindergarten, my youngest son was a year old then and I went back to work full time. It was really hard for me but I was suprised at how well the kids adjusted and we still had family time and I still had all the special moments I shared before. I now have a dd that is 4 months and I have gone back to work again but only part time. It is nice to feel like I contribute and to also have time with my kids. Working part time is wonderful and I say if you want to do it go for it, you will be bettering your kids by being able to achieve your goals. Don't beat yourself up about it!

 

cubbie - December 20

In order to be a good mom, you have to be a happy and content person whatever that means for you.

 

GloriaD - December 20

I have three kids ages 7, 5, and 3 months and i work part time and I love it! Its the best of both worlds, I never take for granted the time that I have with the kids, or without. Luckily my next door neighbor is an in home daycare grandma or else it might not have been so easy but it really works for us and I feel like I have more to give everyone because I'm fulfilled in all aspects of my life. But beware, its hectic!!! Good luck!

 

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