Partner May Have Another Child

2 Replies
BaileysMummy - May 15

Hi, I have been with my partner for 2 1/2 years and we have a 5 month old son. He was told by doctors he would not be able to have children naturally....but they were wrong. He has also just been contacted by a girl he saw a few years ago asking if he would pay maintenance for her 3 year old daughter! He met with her and is now arranging to have a DNA test. If the child is his he is going to take full responsibility, paying maintenance and shared care. I believe that is the right thing to do and support him. Although the more I think about it, the harder it becomes. It really upsets me that he may have a child from something so meaningless. We have a great little family and I don't want our son to suffer. Has anyone been in this situation? Or I would appreciate some opinions

 

Rabbits07 - May 15

Your son doesn't have to suffer in this situation. It sounds like your partner plans on doing right by his daughter (if it turns out that she is) so I really don't see a reason why things would become uncivil. I can see in some ways how you can be upset by this as having a child with someone is such an intimate thing. You are sharing the experience of having your first child together...and come to find out it may not be his first child. I can see how that could be hurtful. But, this all occurred (according to my math) before you ever met (or at least began having a relationship with) your partner. I would just try to keep that in mind when it starts eating at you. I would also be open and honest with your partner. My best friend went through a situation with her husband and a step-daughter a couple of years ago. There were feelings there that were never brought out and she began to resent the step-daughter...not saying that you would come to resent the daughter, but it is important that your partner know that this whole thing affects you also.

 

BaileysMummy - May 15

Thanks for your reply. He initially told me if she is his he can pay child support and have nothing to do with her...I don't think that's right. It is not her fault and she should not have to suffer. I know I would never take it out on her, but as you said it is hard to think our little man isn't his first. He also had some heart defects and had open heart surgery when he was 3 weeks old, so we have been through alot together already. We'll just have to see how it all works out, he rang to arrange the test today, although through child services it takes a little while.

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?