PLEEEEASE HELP

15 Replies
Rob - December 28

(I put this in the dads section too but htere seems more people here!) Im 18, my girlfriend is 16 and we have a 3 week old daughter. Things are just going crazy. She planned to get pregnant and played some pretty nasty tricks to get pregnant, but anyway it happened. I love my daughter to bits but her mom just doesnt do anything for her. Shes fed and changed her a handful of times since she was born and shes going mental at me. I had to throw her out last night and tell her to stay at her moms for the time being cos she was yelling and screaming at me and scaring our daughter and she was hitting me and split my lip and when I locked myself and our daughter in the bedroom she kicked through it. Ive heard of depression after having a baby but this is mental. What should I do??? I've got to go back to work next week and Im even scared to leave her on her own with my daughter. I know shes probably realizing she shouldnt have planned a baby so young but she has to get on with it. ??????????????

 

Eryn - December 28

You should try to get help for her. She is so young and probably needs help emotionally. Obviously something is wrong with her and I wouldn't let her be alone with your baby. Next time she does something like this you need to file a police report. That way if you need to get cusduty of the baby there is evidance of her issues. Don't b__w this off she really needs to talk to someone. Good Luck

 

Kristina - December 28

omg...this is sad. I hear tons of stories with the mom trying to get away from the mental dad...for some reason it's actually more sad for me to hear about a man just trying to be a good dad with a mom freaking out. I think you were right to send her to her mothers...she obviously needs a break or something. Is the baby formula fed? I am 19 so I am fairly young to be a mom but I love my little girl so much...anyways...if you need to talk you can email me or add me to msn... [email protected]

 

Rob - December 29

Thanks for your time. Shes on msn with me now just calling me every name under the sun and when i ignore her it makes her worse! It was the same last night, I was trying to ignore her so thats when she started hitting me. Shes even telling her family I hit her, and Im scared that people will believe her more cos i am quite a big guy but i swear i wouldnt ever hurt her :-( Yes she is formula fed - thank god. She seems to cry a lot round her mom and I try and get her to spend more time with her but she just tells me to ''shut up fussing''. Everytime I mention talking to someone she calls me an idiot :-S But i will keep trying.... Thank you both for the advice. ([email protected])

 

Jbear - December 29

Was she like that before she got pregnant, or before she had the baby? If she wasn't, she might have some mental problem brought on by the stress of having a baby. You might start by talking to her mom...explain that your girlfriend has changed drastically since the baby came, and that you're really worried about her. Ask if she's noticed a change in her daughter, and tell her that you were reading about it online and sometimes the changing hormone levels after pregnancy can cause some temporary mental problems. If she's noticed a problem, the two of you can decide together how to help your girlfriend. Don't leave the baby alone with her until she is herself again. And I'm sure once she's over it, she will be interested in the baby. It might not be a matter of telling herself to get over it, she might need medical help.

 

Christy - December 29

I am sorry that you and your dd have to go through with this. The ladies before me gave some good advice. Like JBear asked, was she like this before or since the baby came? In any case, it sounds like she needs professional help. Where do you live? It sounds like you may be in the UK. Don't they have social workers or nurses come out to check on mom and baby there? That would also be a good person with whom to address this problem. I hope things get better for you guys. Hang in there!

 

Andy - December 29

She seems too young to face the challenges of a relationship and motherhoood. I know a lot of people do it, but I can think of a couple people who couldn't. But if its depression, maybe she can get on some kind of anti-depressant medication. Your baby's needs should pretty much come before anyone elses.

 

xXx-Lesley-xXx - December 29

If you are form the UK she will get a post natle depression questionair at her 6 week check up. If she does have problems and she is completly honest in her answers the health visitor or doctor will help her. She can only get better if she realises herself that she has a problem (that's if she does have one). Baby is now 3 weeks old so you won't be getting visits from the midwife no more, nor will you have the heath visitor come out untill babys 6 week check. You can mention something to your HV or doctor while she isn't there, just say you're worried about her. You don't need to give them full details if you don't want to either.

 

sl - December 29

rid - get

 

karine - December 29

if she shows you those emotions when you are there..and she dosent care about scarring her daughter....please dont leave her unattended with the baby. Maybe you should try and talk to her mom and see what she thinks..tell her what she does.

 

krystal - December 31

I agree. Maybe you should talk to her mother. I was 15 when i had my daughter and me and her father couldn't get along either...but I always cared for our daughter. I would be scared because she acts that way around the baby and she sounds a little detached. I definetely would not leave her with the baby at this point.

 

az - January 5

has she grown up at all yet? u should report her for hitting u

 

xXx-Lesley-xXx - January 6

If my mum thought John was hitting me there is no way she would leave my kids in his care... It's that simple. It sounds to me like the full family are screwed up in the head!

 

twist - January 6

Your girlfriend sounds like a drama queen. If she tricked you into getting her pregnant and has been a bit temperamental in the past, she probably doesn't have ppd, but is more likely just being an immature brat and didn't realise what a huge responsibility it is. But it could also be that because of her past instability she is more prone to ppd. Either way she needs help. Listen to what everyone else has said and please don't leave your daughter alone with her until you have sorted out what is going on. Are your parents nearby, could they help you out at all? I'm sure they would want their grandchild to be safe. I feel so bad for you and your little girl and hope you get things sorted soon, even if it means going it alone.

 

AutumnsMommy - January 6

Rob, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. But at least Anaya has one good parent. Hopefully you will be able to get everything worked out...it definitly sounds like your gf needs some help dealing with the events in her life. I would be very hesitant to leave your daughter in her care (when she does come around) until you are sure she's received some counseling, or is at least stable seeming. It's ridiculous that her family thinks that you were hitting her, but left a baby with you...there's something going on there. My husband got sent to prison when my 16 week old daughter was 7 weeks old..He's in for 13 more weeks. It's hard being a temporarily singe parent, but sometimes, that's just the way it is. And once you accept it, it gets easier. I just think of this as a phase of life that wil pa__s and I will gain strength from...I know it's hard, but hang in there...your baby needs you to be there and be strong...if you need to talk, we're all here.

 

AutumnsMommy - January 6

Sorry...I meant 13 more Months, not Weeks...just wanted to clarify...

 

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