Postpartum Depression

12 Replies
Amanda - January 23

I have been feeling really anxious about returning to work in 2 weeks, and I have started to have panic attacks. I saw the doctor last week and was prescribed 10mg of prozac, but I am just getting worse. I will be totally happy one minute and be balling the next, then feel fine again. It's like the worst case of PMS ever! I saw the doctor again and she increased my dose to 20mg. I am just wondering if anyone else out there has felt this way, and what (if any) medication were you prescribed?

 

dani - January 23

Amanda, I go back to work in 4 weeks and I'm feeling the same way already! I'm so scared, I don't want to leave my baby. I look at him everyday, sometimes I cry just staring at him..........going back to work is going to crush me. I haven't seen my dr yet, but we'll see if I need any meds to deal with this.

 

Heidi - January 23

OMG! Amanda, I totally hear you. I was you about 3 wks ago. SERIOUSLY!!!! I would bawl just thinking about going back to work and leaving Emma with someone I didn't know. I just got sick over it and tried everything I could to try to stay home but it just wouldn't work out. The night we went and met her daycare mom, I bawled all the way home and I didn't even leave her there! It was a total kick in the stomach. I would have my ups and downs just like you're describing. One minute I'd be okay with the idea of going back and the next minute I'd be bawling and change my mind. I got very mad at my DH too blaming him for why I had to go back. So what I did was I went back to work a week early. I arranged to take Emma to daycare a few hours a day and I didn't tell anyone I was doing this. I just took her and went to work and said I was only there for a couple hours. Believe it or not, it went okay. I didn't cry or anything. I was really "OK". I've been back to work full-time for two weeks now and I still get bummed out but not an all out bawling jag like before. I get sad sitting here some days and really miss her but some days I like the away time and adult conversation. Her dad picks her up so she's home when I get there at 3:30 and it sucks cus she sleeps a lot cus she doesn't nap well at daycare cus she's not used to the other kids and all the noise yet. So I get bummed that I don't get a lot of time with her. I cherished this weekend. I hardly put her down. I'd let her nap in my lap as long as she wanted and soaked it all up. Today really sucked. Mondays are hard. Fridays are easy. Just give it a try at least. I said I'd see how I feel after a month. I'm still considering quitting but we really need my income. It sucks. I hate money. Are you guys taking your baby to a daycare or having family watch them? I would rather my family watch her as it wouldn't be hard on me then but that's not possible for me.

 

Heidi - January 23

How long are you girls out on leave? I was out for 14 wks. I can't imagine how some of these moms feel who only are out 6 wks. When Emma was 6 wks I said there's no way I could take her yet. I was lucky and got to work from home part time and got paid the whole time I was off and still had time to spare when I got back so when daycare is closed or she or I get sick.

 

Amanda - January 23

Heidi and Dani- thanks for the responses...it's good to know that I am not totally crazy! My MIL will be watching my son when I go back to work. My company was recently bought out, so my job will be over on May 1, and I will be at home with him from then until December or so (he will be a year old at that point). I know that it should make me feel better that she will be caring for him, but she is not me, and I am going to miss so much! He will only be 8 weeks old when I go back, and I will have used up all of my vacation and personal time. It is exactly 59 days that I will have to work...ugh! I hope that I am like you, Heidi and it's just the anticipation that is killing me. I am so afraid that I am going to show up for work and cry my eyes out all day long and feel like an idiot! Plus, my doctor is totally over reacting- I have to go to a PPD support group and talk to a psychologist before she will refill my prescription...I don't have time (or a babysitter) to do that right now, and duh- I know what the problem is, and I think my feelings are pretty rational. I don't want to leave my baby so soon!!!!! Am I just looney or what?

 

Christy - January 23

The Prozac will take a few weeks to kick in- like 2-3. I used to take Zoloft and it took that much time for my body to adjust to it. If I had to go back to work, I would be feeling the same way as you. Just give the meds another week or two to kick in, and I think you'll see a difference. Re: the PPD support group- can you take your baby with you? I know it may be distracting, but considering it is a group of moms with PPD, it would make it wasier for you all to have the option to bring the baby. I hope you're feeling more at ease soon. I know how terrible it is too feel like that. :(

 

kris A. - January 23

I posted in back to work issues, and you could try reading mine, and other moms, posts about how the daycare is working. It sucks in the morning sometimes, especially when the baby is really happy and just smiling - or when she's not feeling well and just wants snuggling. Then it is SO hard to leave, but once you get in the routine, and if you enjoy your job, you will find happiness there too, as hard as it is to believe now. I wish you the best.

 

CEM - January 23

Amanda, it doesn't sound like PPD to me. It sounds more like you're just experiencing some separation anxiety a little early. I think it's normal to feel this way, albeit hard. Try the meds and see if they make you feel any better. It's a good thing your little one will be with family at least. : )

 

momma - January 23

I wish I could help you or give you advice, I never took my dd to daycare since I am SAHM but I am sure I would have fet the same way about it. DH and I are going away this weeked (for the first time) over-night away from our dd she is 9 1/2 months and I am anxious about it (but exited at the same time) But I am sure that you and the baby will be fine ant that you can trust your mil to watch him (having my mil watch dd would make mo more comfortable than a stranger watching her) I hope you feel better soon and can find a sitter to go to that support group soon good luck

 

Kelly K - January 23

I'm with you!! I'm on Wellbutrin 150mg XL. It works really well for me. I wouldn't have made it past the first 4 weeks of Maddy's life without it!

 

Nick - January 24

I am already back to work and I have several friends who had babies this year. They all went through the same panic attacks and crying fits weeks before returning to work. It is a very hard transition going from being with your baby 24 hours a day to handing him off to someone else. I believe that it is much more difficult for the mother than it is for the baby.

 

Heidi - January 24

Yes it's much harder for us. Emma was just FINE at daycare too. It's nice cus my daycare mom told me how she loves watching the other kids play and is a good baby etc. I know now that I was suffering from PPD because of the way I felt about going back to work. It totally consumed me night and day and now that I'm back, I realize it was depression and I snapped out of it. Like someone else said, yes it sucks in the morning when they're alert and happy and smiling. But I get the same smiles when I get home too and at night in bed. You girls will be fine. If I made it, you will, and if you only have to go back till May, don't sweat it!!!!! You might find you enjoy the little time away for yourself, believe it or not....try not to dwell on it too much. You'll probably find it's not as bad as you thought it would be. Make sure you have a good daycare though. That's what's making it a little easier for me. I ended up switching daycares during my maternity leave cus I had a bad feeling about the one I was set up for. I had terrible anxiety about taking her there so I finally switched and I'm soooo glad I did.

 

Nick - January 24

the part I hate the most is waking him up in the morning. I feel so bad! I try to do it slowly.At 7 am I turn on his mobile and let it play for 5 min. Then I turn the light on for 5 or ten more min. Ichange him in his crib and let him play. This all takes about a half hour, but I would feel too bad just grabbing him out of the crib!

 

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