Potty Training Disaster Please HELP

10 Replies
Mellissa - March 26

My daughter, Rylee, has been potty training since she was 18 months old. She is now 30 months. In January she was just about completely out of diapers. She would take her pants and diaper off, and go potty in the potty chair. My husband left for iraq in the middle of February and now she has reverted back to taking her diaper off and peeing on the floor!!! She barely even looks at the potty chair!! I bought her a Dora toilet seat to put on the big toilet, thinking maybe she'd feel like a big girl...but she's deathly afraid of it!! She has never fallen in to my knowledge, so i don't know what she's afraid of. I am now having to start almost at the beginning to potty train again... but the problem is that I am pregnant and due to have my son in July..and I am afraid of this happening all over again. I have read that life changing events can drastically effect potty training habits. Now I just don't know what to do. I do not get angry with her when she pees on the floor...i understand she is only 2 1/2 and she is going through a hard time right now. My husband leaving has made her not want to sleep in her room either, but I have that under control now. I guess I'm afraid to keep pushing the subject bacause I think she will regress when the baby is born, then again when my husband gets home in November. My sister says to make sure she's trained by the time she's 3, but i don't want to push her so hard she rebels... I feel that my husband leaving has left her feeling abandoned and like she IS kind of rebelling against me. She obviously has no understanding of why he is gone, just that he has to work. Has anyone else had any issues like this, and were able to get past it? Also, any potty training tips would be very helpful. I always make a big deal when she goes in the potty and I make sure to tell her how proud I am. Like i said, she was almost completely trained before, but now has fallen back into not wanting to do it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks a lot!!!

 

Nerdy Girl - March 26

Mellissa, we are going through the same thing as far a potty training regression. My daughter was just under 3 when she finally was 100% trained. She too started before age 2, and actually was fully "poop trained" for almost a full year before she stopped wetting her pull-up. She turned 3 in November, the same month my son was born. She TOTALLY regressed. My son is 4 months old, and my daughter just started wearing her underpants again. But now what she does is use potty "accidents" as a weapon against me. She will wait until I am changing the baby's diaper, and then come stand next to me and poop in her pants. Then she proudly announces "I pooped!" with a big smile on her face. She also does this when she gets a time out. She sits on the stair in the living room, and she will pee on that stair during a time out and laugh about it. I am about to wring this kid's neck over this. But I can type calmly about it now because, believe it or not, it's better now than it was a month or so ago. I give my daughter so much special one-on-one attention. There is not much more I can humanly do for this child. She is just very jealous and very high need. I am curious to see what other posters say to you, because perhaps I could apply some of that advice to my situation too.

 

Meredith - March 27

My oldest just turned 3, I had some trouble training her to poop on the potty. I left her bare or in underwear, but she would hold it or poop in her panties. One day my dh saw her bare bottomed and he told her "Go get a pull up and put it on." I said "She doesnt HAVE to, she can do whatever she wants. If she wants to wear underwear she can, if she wants to wear a diaper, she can. It doesnt matter, whatever she wants to do." (Keep in mind I had been pushing her to use the potty.) I changed my last daytime diaper that day. She wore one right then, to test me I guess, but when she saw I did not care, she PREFERRED her underwear. So, every morning, I would ask her if she wanted to wear underwear or a pullup and she always chose underwear from that point on. Very odd, I know, but my point is that it is all pyschological at this point. They have the ability to do it at this age, they choose whether or not to do it. When her sister was born, she had a few weeks of "accidents," she would go to the bathroom, take her panties down and pee in front of the potty. (Never poop.) It has subsided now. You just cannot overreact, and remember you are smarter, think about your child and outsmart him or her.

 

Meredith - March 27

I forgot to say that she was daytime trained at 2 and 1/2 and her sister was born at 2 and 3/4. I started (kind of) around 18 months. My mom thought I should have started at 12 months. haha

 

Jamie - March 27

Try getting a potty chair for her - even if she's never fallen, an adult-sized toilet is pretty high up to a toddler! And, Meredith, I'm currently training my 7 month old! So it's not unheard of!

 

Mellissa - March 27

thanks ladies for your advice... Jamie, she does have a toddler potty chair, which is what she usually uses. The reason I got the Dora toilet seat for her to use the big toilet was because i thought it would make her feel more like a big girl if she used the same potty as mommy. Plus, the little potty chair always leaves a red ring around her b___t... lol. looks like it hurts!!! but i encourage her to use the little one more than the big one...Meredith, I am trying your method now...I told her this morning she had a choice to wear the diaper or the big girl panties. She chose the diaper... but I've been at work all day so i don't know if she took it off or not. Last night she took her diaper off three times and peed on the floor. Then she comes to me and tells me she peed...so I am wondering if it's an attention thing. Since my husband left, and i am working, i'm afraid she's thinking we're just not wanting to pay attention to her, you know? Well, I am going to follow her lead, i think and try not to stress about it. it would be nice to get her completely trained before the baby gets here, but i think she will just do like nerdy Girl's daughter and regress again. I am just not going to push her. She knows how to use the potty chair, she knows how to take her pants and diaper off, and she knows where the potty chair is. I will just hope she decides to WANT to use it. :) Thanks again ladies!!!

 

Mellissa - May 2

UPDATE: just wanted to let you all know that it has been almost two weeks now since Rylee has worn a diaper. YAY!! today is the first day she hasn't had any "accidents", so i am very happy. yesterday she insisted on using her Dora toilet seat for the big toilet, and she hasn't stopped since. she even carries it upstairs to that bathroom if she is playing in her room. The strange thing is that i completely stopped trying, then one night she was really raw like she had drank too much orange juice or something, and she insisted i take her diaper off. she hasn't worn one since. well, she has been wearing a pullup when we go to the store, and i give her a choice to wear a diaper to bed if she wants. today she made her first trip out without a diaper or pullup. we went to the post office, and she did great! :) I just wanted to let everyone know it is finally happening!!! WOOHOOO!!!!

 

HannahBaby - May 2

I think that you are right and that her regression is because of her father leaving. My cousin was moving and her ped. told her to stop training her 2 year old because such a dramatic change in life will cause him to regress anyway. So she stopped until they got settled in to their new life. Shes just a baby and doesnt know how to deal with all the adult things that go on in ilfe. I dont think thats shes rebelling against you, she just has feeling that she doesnt know how to express and this is how shes choosing to express them. Good luck with your little one and my god watch over and protect you and your husband.

 

HannahBaby - May 2

oops. haha didnt read posts until after i posted. Good i am happy that your daughter is adjusting and getting back to her old self!!

 

Mellissa - May 2

thanks hannahbaby.... i am very excited that she has gotten comfortable enough to use the potty without me having to ask her to. i'm really hoping she does okay when the baby is born, but that is still 3 months away, so she should be pretty set in her habits by then. She seems to be pretty okay with her dad being gone now too. she talks to him almost everyday on the phone, so i think that makes her feel a little better. :)

 

HannahBaby - May 2

Dont be suprised melissa if she does want to be back in a diaper (becuase the new baby weard diapers and she wants to wear what the baby wears) Thats why im worried about getting my daughter off a bottle, i dont want to take it away from her because she loves it and its our time together at night. But im worried about the "my bottle" syndrome when the new baby is born. But hopefully that wont happen. One thing that you can do is after the baby is born you could take her shopping to buy some "special" underwear that are just for her. Thats what i plan on doing if Hannah gets funny about her bottles. Its going to be hard because life is going to be totally different with another baby. Its going to be even harder on the little ones. You just have to go the extra mile to make her feel special. My daughter is only 15 months so im not even ready to potty train!! Im going to get a potty seat soon though so that she gets used to it being there.

 

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