Pregnant Again And Very Excited

18 Replies
bbmax - March 9

I'm two months along and my ds in 11 months. I'm a little worried that he'll feel left out or jealous when the baby comes in late Sept since he'll still be so young. Any tips from moms who have had their kids close together?

 

MM - March 9

I just had my first in November so I can't help you. I just wanted to say CONGRATS on pregnancy #2!!

 

luviduvi - March 9

Well, My dd and ds are 21 mths apart. They say the "ideal" space is 2.5 to three years apart. But, that children closer than that do okay too b/c the older child is really too young to know that they are being left out. I will tell you, my dd had a hard time when the baby came home. It just now got better. Congrats

 

bbmax - March 9

They will be 18 months apart so I'm hoping we'll be able to "sneak" the new sibling in and at the same time convince our ds that this baby is his new "best friend". I'm hoping that may work.

 

bbmax - March 9

luviduvi, how did your daughter react precisely if you don't mind me asking? When you say hard time, did she cry a lot?

 

sahmof3 - March 9

My youngest two are 17 months apart. My dd didn't like that she couldn't climb up on my lap or have my attention whenever she wanted it. She cried a lot the first few weeks. But after a month or two she became really independent! I think the upset and jealousy from her was probably mild because I also had a 5yo ds that could play with her, entertain her and pour her juice, etc.

 

Emily - March 9

Involve your son in everything. Mary was 11 mos when we found out we were pregnant agian. (sadly we m/c when she was 12 mos but were pregnant again by the time she was 14 mos) We told her early and kept telling her until she understood that there was a baby in mommy's tummy. We let her see the u/s pics and she came with us to one. We talked alot about how she was going to be a big sister and how seh could help. She was the first grandbaby on my side so I was worried how she would shaer the spotlight but she does okay. She loves her sisy. She sometimes gets a bit jelous and tells us that Marcy is fine or when we pick her up, Mary will say, no you supose to hold me...but for the most part she is protective and likes to play with her. Marcy adores Mary although sometimes I wonder why with the way Mary plays. She has to be reminded to be gentle, but would never hurt her on purpose. The only really big set back we saw when Marcy came home was Mary started getting up in the middle of the night again. She was haveing bad dreams and wouldn't go to bed and then she would get up even when she didn't ahve a nightmare. She is better now too, but it was rough for a while. Just dont try to conquer anything new the month before or for a while after baby arrives. like we moved MAry out of the crib in Jan and Macy was born in June, so that was plenty of time. We were working on potty triaing but didn't push it and Mary got it when she was ready. Sometimes older sibblings go through set backs when a baby comes home. We were lucky, Mary's big one was sleeping,. she didn't want back in her crib or anythign, or want a bottle back. good luck, it will be hard, but so worth it. The first time I heard the two of them giggling together I knew it was all going to be okay!

 

sc_august - March 9

bbmax....i too am in pregnancy #2 at 6 months and my daugther is 12 months. I'm due late june and my daughter is very aware of babies. everytime people as her where baby is, she rubs my belly and hugs it as if she clearly knows that she's going to be a big sister very soon. they will be about 16 months apart and i was wanting to be close in age. it's very doable taking care of your lo and be pregnant. i'm doing it and i can't wait for her to meet her brother. congrats to you!

 

HannahBaby - March 9

My daughter and my son are 21 months apart. It was a really hard pregnancy as my daughter was only 1 when i got pregnant and needed to be lifted alot (i never realized quite how much lifting she required until i was pregnant) In the beginning it was rough, she wasnt yet 2, didnt quite understand....It was just rough (and im told that she adjusted "very well"....hate to see what other kids do) but now hes almost 5 months and hannah just adores him. She sits with him all day long and just loves him to pieces. I dont really have any advice......Your son is too young to give him the new baby talks, In the beginning he will feel left out and jealous, hes used to being the top dog, but as my doctor told me, they are still so small that in a few days they will forget that there was life before the new baby. Good luck

 

luviduvi - March 9

Well, I agree with Hannahbaby (our children are the same ages--about the pregnancy being difficult when you have one that is really learning to discover the world by walking and talking etc. My daughter had a hard time with that I couldn't cater to her needs the way I did before my son got here. If she were sick, or got hurt or wanted a juice, she didn't understand that mommy was feeding this baby, and couldn't just reach out to her (this is ofcourse when dh was at work). She would just become very whiny. Now, she ignores my son and has understood that mommy is sometimes busy....however, now that ds is a little older, I can make him wait just a little or I can put him and the bottle down to get dd juice (just for a second). Where my dd took her fustration out was at daycare. She continued to go and she got into a terrible scratching, hitting, and whining phase. It lasted a good two months....YUCK. But, now, things are really in place and I am glad I had them close together....they will play better when ds is bigger.

 

bbmax - March 9

I really appreciate all of the advice. Right now my ds is 11 months old and I can't really explain anything to him. I'm hoping that as he gets a bit older I'll be able to talk to him about it. I only have one so I don't know what to expect when he's 16 or 18 months. That's when the baby will be born and I don't know if he'll still be young enough for it not to affect him too much or if that's old enough for him to freak out and be really jealous. I don't know what a 16 to 18 month old is like exactly!!!

 

shelly - March 9

sorry no advice mine 2 are 10 years apart but congratulations on your news.

 

krnj - March 9

I'm worried about the same thing with my ds. He just turned a year & I'm due the end of July. Sorry no advice but we're in the same boat! :)

 

in the woods - March 9

bbmax - in terms of understanding, 18 months is not that different from 12 months. They still are BABIES at that age. When he sees a new object now - how does he react? Do you think when you show him a baby right now - will he realize it's his sibling? Probably not. Same when he's 18 mo old. That's the beauty of having two kids close - jealousy starts at 3 and older. Speaking from experience - my kids are 19 months apart. I did not have the jealousy problems and my first born did not feel I was robbing her of attention - the baby slept a lot the first months! And you get much calmer at motherhood the second time around - you spend time with the first born when the baby sleeps, you manage time better (or the necessity makes you). I love having close born kids - this definitely has it's pluses.

 

in the woods - March 9

To all the ladies here pregnant with their second - the secret key to solving your worries is - you WON'T be the first time mothers this time! That means - you won't be feeling as if you navigate in unknown waters, full of anxiety. You will know what to expect from a baby - you will even take his/her cries calmer, knowing that babies HAVE to do that at times. You will get calmer at mothering and that will give you psychological relieve so you will be able to do more things than you ever did and yet feel that you have more time. The strangest thing that happened to me when the second baby arrived - I felt like I started having time to read books! It felt eery, but that's the secret - you graduate into experienced mothers.

 

LollyM - March 10

yay! congrats! I only have one baby, so I'm not sure about the sibling rivalry, but I bet they will be good friends soon enough =)

 

Rhiannon - March 10

When and if I have another I plan to buy a gift for my girls from the new baby. I will give it to them the first time they meet the new baby. You can make a big deal of it and wrap it nice and say "Look, baby whatever, brought you a nice hello gift" That might give them a good first impression of the new baby.

 

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