Question For Nerdy Girl

14 Replies
maryg - May 1

Hey Nerdy--I read on another thread that you successfully stopped co-sleeping! Our babies are about the same age and I am plotting the same, but not having much luck. For the last week I've been nursing her to sleep and then sneakily putting her in her crib, but she only stays asleep for about 45 minutes! I don't know why this surprises me--she wakes up every 45 minutes in the bed too. Just looking for any advice if you have it! Thanks!

 

Angelica87 - May 2

I know this question wasn't for me but I went through this same thing a month ago. My son (now 7 months) could not get to sleep without me nursing him and he would wake up every 2 hours to eat. I tried the CIO method and now he sleeps in his crib and sleeps about 10-14 hours every night. It's great! If you can handle the crying I'd say it's worth a try. What I did was feed him right before bed and put him in the crib and let him cry himself to sleep, even if it took an hour ( I felt so horrible) And if he'd wake up during the night after he fell asleep I wouldn't go get him unless he hadn't eaten for about 3-4 hours. It was hard but definitely worth it in the end. My husbands cousin just did this same thing a few weeks ago and it worked for them too. I hope this helps a little.

 

maryg - May 2

I actually tried this one night and she did cry herself to sleep eventually, but I think she woke up crying again in like half an hour! Horrible, desperate sobs, hiccuping and gasping for air. I just felt like she was the kind of baby who wouldn't be able to CIO successfully, so I've been trying less drastic measures. I'm not sure they're making a difference though. I'm actually less concerned with her sleeping through the night then with her sleeping in her own space. She's crawling/pulling up and I can't leave her in the bed alone, but I want to be able to put her to bed earlier than me. My ultimate goal is the part-time co-sleeping that seemed to work for my friends, where she starts the night in the crib, and then moves to the bed. I'm open to trying some CIO but I'm not sure I could handle a whole hour. I worry it'll break our attachment, and of course, I HATE to hear her cry! How many nights did you have to do this? I just totally screwed up by going the path of least resistance when she was younger, but I SO needed the sleep! thanks for the support Angelica!

 

Angelica87 - May 2

I know what you mean. Part of the reason I co-slept in the first place was because I couldn't handle the crying and nursing him always put him to sleep. I even had to nurse him to sleep for all his naps too and I usually just left him on the bed and he'd cry when he woke up but after he started rolling over I went in to check on him a few times and he had been awake for a while and I was really afraid of him rolling off the bed so I knew I had to get him to sleep in the crib. I pretty much just started with naps, I got him to sleep in the crib during the day and when it was going well I started at night which he was not happy about. But he only took like 2 nights to sleep in the crib. He still cries for a couple minutes when I lay him in there but he usually goes to sleep pretty quick. I have a hard time putting him in there still so I make my husband do it when he's home. lol I know there are other methods of getting your baby to sleep in the crib that are less hard on everyone. But I'm not sure how to do them. Sorry I couldn't be more help. CIO isn't for everyone but it does work with persistence and a couple nights of little sleep.

 

melissap - May 2

Sorry to but in but I would try statring in the crib during daytime naps. This is how I did it although ds was 2.5 months or so. I put him in the crib and the 1st time I stood close to the crib and talked to him. Each time I moved away a little and within 4 days he was sleeping in his crib completley. He also goes to sleep without a bottle. He has a good routine worked out for himself so I know when he needs to sleep. I just take him up and he goes to sleep. It may take a few days but take it from someone who has 3 kids and co slept with other 2 for almost a year.. it was way easier to do it earlier than later. Good luck.

 

maryg - May 2

She cries when I put her in for naps too! I just have such a hard time tolerating the crying. It feels wrong to me. Maybe I just need to toughen up!

 

mommybabyboy21 - May 3

I co-slept with my son until he was 9 months old. He wouldn't even take NAPS by himself. I started out with naps, I would put the shirt I wore the day before in his crib,. I would nurse him and he was sleepy but not completely asleep I would lay him down then I would take a blanket and put it at his waist and tuck it in tightly so it can't get near his face but also makes him feel secure. He fussed the first day for about 5 minutes I just rubbed his face until he fell asleep.

 

maryg - May 3

Well maybe we should start with naps! She's currently napping in her swing and is going to grow out of it any day, so we need a new alternative anyway. I'll keep you posted....

 

maryg - May 3

Oh my goodness I just got her down for a nap in the crib! I did have to give it a couple tries, and she was pretty much asleep when I did get her down, bit she's been in there for about 45 minutes now, which is just amazing!!! mommybabyboy21 I tried your shirt trick, maybe it helped. I've also been using a white noise machine at night and I moved that into her room. How long did you ladies who started with naps wait before trying nighttime? Thanks so much! I couldn't have done it without you guys. I've been trying to deal with this for ages now!

 

melissap - May 3

I started with nighttime crib as soon as he was comfortable sleeping in the crib at nap time. It only took him a couple of days but he was alot younger and an easy baby. Good luck I am glad you got her in the crib. Hope you can keep going.

 

mommybabyboy21 - May 4

If she is doing well tomorrow with naps you could go for night sleeping. I just know that for about three nights my son didn't make it all the way through. The first night he slept 4 hours in his crib and then woke up. I was just falling asleep and I really wanted to go back to sleep so I just threw him in bed with us. The next night he slept 6 hours by himself and then woke up, I went in and picked him up and rocked him for awhile and then layed him down and tickled his face and he fell asleep after about 20 min the next night was 8 hours, He usually sleeps 12 hours, so after the 8 hours I threw him in bed with us I thought it was fine. We went with the 8 hours in his crib, 4 in our bed for about 2 weeks,he has been in his crib now for about 2 months and I think only twice has he showed back up in our bed before the 12 hours are up. He is 10 months old now.

 

maryg - May 4

I put her down last night too, with similar success--she sleeps for about and hour and 10 minutes, then wakes up crying. The first time I nursed her back to sleep and returned her to the crib. The second time I brought her to bed. When I started this process she was only sleeping 45 minutes so I guess we're doing a LITTLE better, but she's had this waking up problem in the bed too. I figured FIRST we'd try to conquer sleeping in the crib, THEN we'd try to conquer sleeping for longer stretches. I was thinking maybe I could try a preemptive strike--like picking her up and nursing her after 45 minutes to avoid the one hour wake up. Is that crazy?

 

melissap - May 4

I found that ds would sleep alittle longer each night. I know it is hard but if you are trying to break the cosleep habit then don't take her into bed. It may take few sleepless nights but if you are strong and she isn't wailing then try to return her to the crib. I wouldn't wake her up. She probably doesn't need to eat it is just a habit to go to sleep so I would keep trying to see how long she can go without waking

 

Angelica87 - May 4

I have this paper I got from the doctors when my son was still having sleep problems and it says that if your baby is over 4 months and still wakes up in the night to eat, that you shouldn't feed them to get them to go back to sleep (I did feed my son if he hadn't eaten for 4 or more hours) because they won't learn how to self-comfort and will always cry for you to help them get back to sleep. It also says that for night crying it's okay to rock you baby back to sleep until they learn how to put themselves to sleep for naps to make the middle of the nights easier. It also says that while you're getting them back to sleep not to talk to them, leave the room or turn on the lights and to make your contact with them brief and boring. Also babies can't learn to self-comfort without some crying, I know it's hard but it is okay to let them cry a little. 30-90 minutes of crying isn't unusual. Definitely work on naps first. With my son I waited a little over a week to start bedtime in the crib. So just hang in there, My doctor said it's better and easier to get them to sleep in the crib when they're younger.

 

maryg - May 5

Good advice Angelica--I don't always give into her desire to nurse when we're co-sleeping, sometimes I just rub her back and cuddle with her, so I'll have to start doing that after that first night waking. It seems like she'll wake up after 45 min-1 1/2 hours every night, but that she falls back to sleep quite easily. Maybe I'll try skipping that feeding first and see how long she can stay asleep. Again, I am willing to let her cry SOME but I have my limits so we'll have to go the gradual route. Some of this process is teaching ME how to let her sleep, not just teaching her. Thanks for helping me!

 

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