Question For Stay At Home Moms Or Any Moms For That Matter

5 Replies
jodie - April 5

So I am a stay at home mom with 2 kiddos. My son is almost 2 1/2 and my daughter is almost 9 mos. I am just looking for ideas on how to de-stress my life...lol..(if that is even possible for a mom). I feel like after all the laundry and feeding and playing and cooking that I have no time to help myself. My husband works weird hours and they are different alot of the days so it's hard to set a schedule where I get "me" time everyday. I want to start feeling better and having more energy but I need to find ways to motivate myself. Sorry for all the venting. I was just wondering if there are any mommies who have felt this way and have found ways to make it all better...lol???

 

iemc19 - April 5

Hi - I'm a sahm of 4...12,7,4, and 1...I do have days when I feel like I am just everyone's skivvy and I just want to find a hole and crawl into it for a while! lol....Routine and schedules are quite a must for us...sometimes...that too would then become a chore....Certain things are done at certain times...I do a load of washing as I go to bed, then do one when I wake up and am waiting for my tea to settle... (plus various times through the day if weather permits or it is a neccessity) I have a strict b/fast routine/ brushing teeth, hair, dressing and out the door for various bodies...but when those who leave have left my youngest is generally ready for a nap and that is ME time - If I've rushed and not showered then I'll do it then, but otherwise its time for me to sit with a cuppa and a book or on the comp....At 11.30 I'm with my two youngest and lunch and playtime...and its probably busy for the rest of the day...I make packed lunches for the next day at dinner time...and after I've cleaned the kitchen down thats me - chore wise....(bar a load of washing) I'm lucky DH always does baths...so thats a 20/30 minute slot for me again...I take these as faithfully as I can...Bedtimes are set in stone - on holidays the kids can stay up/out later but only if they don't harra__s too much - or they can play in their rooms until lights out....Evenings are for me and dh - well my youngest doesn't agree with that yet...but he will eventually!!!! haha...thats the time I miss the most 2 hours for us to sit and be alone.....Of course we have a 12 year old who obviously isn't as easy to scare to bed!!! But then thats generally the only time that HE wants to sit with us and chat so......I think when they are small it IS harder to find that time for yourself...it does get easier...have you a relative or friend close enough to maybe have them for an hour a week......My parents take the 3 older ones for the afternoon/dinner on Fridays - when the youngest is about 2 they'll take him then....of course they take him when I need them to as well but he's just in that seperation anxiety thing and I don't like to push that.....OH and I find this place really good for realising I'm not the only one having days like that and maybe just maybe I'm not such a bad mum for feeling that way!!! My dh is a shift worker - days and nights but he is excellent at doing things and sometimes I have days where I go on strike! and he does it all - I do feel a little guilty but then I think what the hell - he needs to see what I do in day and that I don't actually sit drinking coffee all day long!!!

 

mjvdec01 - April 6

I am a sahm also. I have a 26 month old daughter and am currently 24 weeks 2 days pregnant with our second. I am wiped out all the time. My hubby is gone 15 hours a day 5 days a week. He has a very stressful job and doesn't get home until right before bedtime. I normally don't like to ask him to do bedtime because he only really has time to eat dinner, get a shower, get his clothes ready for the next day, and get to bed. He does play with our daughter for about 20 minutes before hand though. Lately he has been doing more to help since I am pregnant. My daughter does take about a 2 hour nap during the day, so that helps, but I am usually doing laundry and trying to get caught up with daily chores. I do try and sit for atleast 30 minutes and veg in front of the TV before she wakes up. It is really hard having kids and I know for me it is going to get harder once we have a newborn in the house. I just hope we can get our daughter out of diapers before then. We did get her out of her crib and in to a big girl bed though. We just finished her new room today, and she is very excited. If anyone figures out the secret to motherhood and stress management, PLEASE, let me know!!!

 

kimberly - April 6

Hi, I am mostly a sahm, I work 3 days a week but I am with the kids all evening after work too because dh works from 6 pm to 6 am. We just trade off the kids when I get home from work. We have a 9 and 4 year old boys and my dd is 7.5 months. Managing life and kids is realy hard. I suggest a good schedule and routine. Try to get your kids to nap at the same time atleast once a day. Then you can take advantage of that time for yourself. Also, try to get away from the kids with your dh atleast once a month for a few hours. This really helps! I also like to do a girls night out where dh will watch the kids and I go hang out with my friends for a while. Granted I don't always get to do this but I do try. If I can't get away alone without the kids I have found just going outside with them or to a park when the weather is nice for even 30 mins. makes me feel much more calm.

 

CoLark - April 6

I am a part time SAHM. I have someone look after my daughter 2 days a week. During that time, I either work (if I have work) or use the time to catch up on things for me. I realize that is a luxury, and I love it. Other less expensive things work too. For instance, I have friends who trade off their kids for a morning each week so that one mom is taking care of the kids of the two families one time, and the next week vice versa. It is like a playdate for the kids. The other thing is taking advantage of gym day care. The local rec centers here have daycare for a very reasonable price. I will put my daughter in at the gym so I can have some me-time workout time. You could go for a swim during that time, or hit the sauna if they have one! I think it is easy as a SAHM to be self sacrificing, but you do have to honor yourself too! It is a tough job! Good luck!

 

angeev - April 7

I am not a sahm but understand your feelings...well, not totally, I have the same feeling but I am sure sahm's are to a higher degree. I have recently started working out and I paid for it ahead of time so I HAD to go. It has helped lots. I also have signed up to volunteer for things my son could attend with me, like reading for kids at the library and at the children's art center. Yes, it is still kid stuff, but I did these things pre-child so I feel like it is just as much for me.

 

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