Questioning My Decision

6 Replies
Erynn21 - February 25

Recently I decided to fully become a SAHM, I had been working 1 day a week as a hairstylist since my dd was born. I love my job, but circ_mstances have made it clear that this is no longer the priority in my life, my family is. I still can't help but question my decision, I know in my heart that is the right thing for me, yet I feel like everyone is bothered by it(except my dh, he fully supports my decision). Yesterday was my last day and I cannot helps but feel like I losing something, yet of course gaining something new. My girlfriend is taking care of the business, I no longer am responsible for anything, I just feel like I have lost a part of my persona, augghhhh, I just needed to get this out. I feel great about it, but weird too. Any input would make me feel better. Thanks.

 

ash2 - February 25

Im sure it will pa__s. I took a week vacation from my job last week and i almost pulled my hair out staying at home every day ! lol . I know alot of moms can do it, but i need adult interaction. If i could do partime, then that would be perfect. Because i get a little bit of both . But i have to work full-time. I dont like depending on DH for money if i want to but something " extra " for the kids that i think is cute ....or if i want to go on a shopping spree, i can. If we want to go out to eat one night a week, we can because of the extra income. We are able to pay for activities for the kids like soccer, baseball, karate, and not have to worry, because of the extra income. I do long to spend more time with them, but i DO work second shift, so i spend all day with them untill about 3pm. So i get a little of both worlds. You will get to see more of your children and that is what is going to make it worth it ! Get involved with a local mommy group and have fun !!

 

DB - February 25

Erynn, I'm jealous. I go back to work at the end of April and I'm dreading it. I will only be working 3 days (24 hours) which pays the mortgage, but I feel like I'm going to miss dd growing up. My MIL is going to watch her for us when I'm at work and I swear to god if I miss a "first" anything and she sees it I might shoot her. She has a tendency to rub those types of things in our faces. I would enjoy your time with your daughter and be confident in your decision!!

 

Erynn21 - February 25

Well I don't regret it and I love being at home personally, I have been super social with my job and when I was pregnant the more I longed to be home. Then after my dd was born at 6 weeks pp I thought that I really needed to work again, but it started driving me crazy. It's been hard for me because I really enjoyed my job, and my clients, now I want nothing to do with any of it. Yet I am in a "mourning" phase, I guess it's the new life choice that has me a little frazzled, not the aspects of being home. I'm not even worried about money or anything like that, I just feel like people are judging my decision, and that bothers me. I live in a small town so I get out and socialize a lot and am getting involved with a mother's group, I guess I just hate it when people are like,"OOOhhh, you want to do that." I really don't feel like I'm depending on my dh for money that's just not the way our family is, he doesn't care if I work, don't work, he just wants me to be happy, and I am. I guess I should just really not care what other ppl think it's none of their business.

 

Mellissa - February 25

Erynn21, definitely don't let how others feel bother you. some women think you should be a sahm and others think you should work. that's just how the world is. I am in the opposite position as you... i just chose to go back to work 40 hours a week and had a lot of people telling me it was a mistake, except dh, who "encourages" me to work. hehe. i love the job i have, but i do miss the kids (but my mom watches them, so i have peace of mind). but dh's mom has been a sahm for the last 30 years and thinks that what i should do also. i kindly remind her that she and her husband, and children, did not have to live on a military salary. :)

 

shelly - February 25

i remember having that mourning phase,i didtn know what to call it , you summed it up well. just felt weird and strange as you said. i think it just takes time to adjust to not working outside the home,you ll still be working as a sahm. its hard part of me wants to work and interact and part of me dosent, everyones so different but i did feel id lost a part of my persona as well. youve only just finished work so will take time to get in the swing of it, good luck to you erynn.enjoy

 

mandee25 - February 26

Erynn21, screw what other people think. It is your life, your family and your happiness so just do what is right for you. You know in your heart what that is. I wish I could afford to sah until my son went to school but it looks like I am back to work in November after maternity leave runs out. Enjoy this time with your LO. You can't ever get it back.

 

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