Sahm Question How Do You Do It

24 Replies
mandee25 - January 26

I want to be a Sahm so badly but my husband doesn't make enough to cover all our bills. If we had the car paid off and I babysat at home we could do it. I know my LO will only be this small for a little while and I really want to be home to enjoy it all! How do you ladies do it? Do you make financial sacrifaces to stay home? Once my child starts school I wouldn't mind working but I hate the idea of someone else raising my child.Since I live in Canada I do have the first year off on paid maternity leave but it doesn't seem like enough. Anyone have any suggestions?

 

Erynn21 - January 26

Well it's not easy, I work almost full time as a hairstylist before our dd was born and made a good amount of money, I still do work on Saturdays, but I lost some of my clientele, but I don't care. We have made some sacrifices, but many things we have are already paid for. We don't have a car payment which is nice we had some savings for when the baby was born to get through. We live in the US so we don't get any paid leave. I guess for us the sacrifices are not always being able to go out to dinner, having to budget with shopping etc..but we have never had a ton of money, so this isn't really anything new, and for us it would probably be a wash if I were to work and try to pay for daycare.

 

Erynn21 - January 26

I meant *worked*

 

CyndiG - January 26

I agree with Erynn. It's all about sacrifices. Like, I haven't been out to dinner in months! I'm so looking forward to my anniversary! I've been promised dinner out. I use coupons at the grocery store, buy baby clothes off of ebay, my car is paid for, and I know that's what I'll be driving for a long time! But trust me, it's all worth it. It's worth every single sacrifice! I worked while my first dd was a baby, and I regret it. I swore if I had another I would stay home. And I am. Maybe you could sell your car and buy one that you could pay cash for? Just take a serious look at your finances and cut out anything that's not absolutely necessary. Good luck! You can make it work.

 

piratesmermaid - January 26

Sacrifices, yep! Our dd is 6months old, and I'll probably start looking for a parttime(evening) job in a couple months.

 

mandyrenfro - January 26

yes, sacrifices- i live in the US too. my wardrobe contains nothing but old jeans and ratty t-shirts. budgeting groceries, no cable, dial up internet, one car. but, its worth it. every bit of it

 

sahmof3 - January 26

It's all been said by the others. We have older cars and no car payments... as CyndiG said I know what I'll be driving for a long time! I go to discount grocers, work some evenings and Sundays. I definitely couldn't out my younger two in daycare, PLUS my older one in after school care... I'd end up working and completely in the red, but I will go back to work when my kids are in school for sure. No maternity leave here and no baby bonus, so when I was done working that was it... no moola for or from me! It doesn't bother too much, though, because everyone I know is more or less in the same boat.

 

eclipse - January 26

We have family help right now for the first 6 months, then I guess I will get a job-we really want me to stay home but our mortgage went up 200 a month (see other thread) so it isn't possible and its breaking my heart. :((

 

olivia - January 26

we have no car payments, no cable, not many meals out, and a credit card for difficult months....

 

mcatherine - January 26

I agree with everybody. No matter what financial situation - most everyone has to make some sort of sacrafices. We don't make too many "material" sacrafices, but we live in a much smaller house than most everyone we know - and what most people expect us to live in. It's a nice house and it allows us that extra cash every month, but its small. Atleast we can afford to do some renovating late winter, early spring. I can't say that I care all that much - its an expensive housing market and I would much rather be able to spend the day with my son. If you actually sit down and do the math you will find that a lot of full time women work solely to pay for daycare or come out only a few dollars a month ahead. So subtract things like the daily latte and take out, etc and factor in atleast one take out meal a week if you do work and a lot of women could make it work. I worked with my first son from 12 weeks - so I'm grateful I get to sah with this baby. Good luck to you!

 

Lisastar9 - January 26

mandee25..have you considered bavysitting for a family in thier home during the daytime,this way you can be with your little one.

 

ash2 - January 26

Wow, i envy the dedication you guys have to all these sacrifices... i must admit, i dont think i could do it even if i could. Not that i dont love my children with every peice of my heart, because i love them more, but my husband is the type of guy that will spend every night at home if he could..Me ? i like for the family to go on outings, vacations, the movies, etc....I also like being able to buy DS something that i know DH will not buy. ( like that adoooorable outfit ! ) So i really do give it to you guys....My car will be paid off in 1 year, so i am considering going part-time at least, but i cant quit work completly. I need some time for myself to just have some adult interaction....some people are just like that. But i have to also say that we have the best of both worlds. I dont go into work untill 3:00 in the afternoon, so i am with my kids from 7 am ( when they wake up ) untill 2:30 pm when i drop them off at my MIL "s house. Then DH picks them up at 5 : 30 and takes them home to do bath, and bed. So i really dont miss much because they are in bed by 8pm...

 

SonyaM - January 26

I had a friend once who did the smartest thing. As soon as she found out she was pregnant she began saving half of her income and living on her husbands income and half of hers. The plan was this would allow her to stay home for at least a year and then they could make a new plan. Well it worked and then her husband got a better paying job so she was able to continue staying home. We are extremely fortunate that my husband makes really good money but when I quit my job he didn't make this much. We were planning on making alot of sacrifices like the other mentioned. I did work when my first son was little and it was hard to be away from him. I am very appreciative for the opportunity I have to stay home with my second.

 

BaileysMummy - January 26

Sonya, that is exactly what I did....saved every extra cent from the time I found out I was pregnant....when I left work at 27 wks I also received my accrued annual leave and the maternity benefit. We lived very comfortable with my parners wages and savings for 11 months....then I returned to work.My ds loves day care now and I feel the same way as ash....I want to be able to afford to give anything to my son. Plus it will help us buy a house alot earlier and benefit his future

 

Nicole1 - January 26

I am a WAHM I am very lucky I started selling Real Estate 7 years ago and have a great business I can do out of my house. Now my dh gets home around 4 and I can work nights and weekends. I read an article about mothers who work and you need to consider all the hidden expenses not just daycare. You need to think of the gas it takes to drive to work. The clothes and shoes that you need to buy, food if you don't pack your lunch, The wear and tear on you car sitting in traffic, I live off a a toll Rd so If I were to drive into DC everyday....which most people in my area do it would cost me $8 a day. If you have to pay to park your car etc...etc...Anyway this article was on babycenter. com I can't think of all the things they listed but after taxes ....which 2 incomes also might put you in a higher tax bracket it really didn't make much sense to work. If you can make a few sacrifices...like 1 car etc. It might even out.

 

suze42 - January 26

DH and I planned on my staying home even before we got pg. We bought a home that we could afford on one income, even tho we had 2 incomes at the time...We have one good car and one used. I shop discount as much as I can, I cook all but a few meals a week. I have the worse wardrobe Ive ever had! LOL but its okay b/c no one sees me! And like all the other moms, its ALL worth it. Even the long days you think youre gonna lose your mind. I love being the primary influence in my childs life. Mandee, you are very lucky to have a year leave in CA, thats unbelievable here in the US where most moms get only 6wks and not even paid unless youve accrued it. Count your blessing there!

 

flower.momma - January 26

I tried to go back when my dd was 4 months old and it was too hard. I went for one eveing and cried to whole time. After I got home, my hubby told me that he missed me too much, and he would rather I stayed home at night. We crunched the numbers and were prepared to make some GIANT sacrifices, like only the bare neccessities. The the next week a new job fell into my hubby's lap where he literally got double the salary he was making. It is still a stretch, but we still go out to dinner once a week and are able to cover unexpected finances, like new brakes or a new fridge. BUT, our mortgage is only $750.00, we have no car payment because we used our savings,a nd utilities are usually less than $250.00. Plus we shop in bulk. In the end it works out, but it is quite a tight squeeze.

 

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