Screaming For Strangers

7 Replies
LisaB - May 11

I'm a sahm with a 6 month ds and am always with him. My husband is training for a new job out of town Mon-Fri for 7weeks so we are together all the time. I joined the YMCA to get back to running but the first time I took ds to the drop in day care he flipped and they had to come get me I tried again this week and he cries the whole time (45 min). Then today I had to pay the mortgage and run to the post office the weather was horrible so my dad and his wife came over to watch the little one he screamed the whole time. As soon as I came home he was all smiles and loving grandma and grandpa. So I just can't leave him. Its too early for seperation anxiety but I really need just a little time for myself not much just 45 minutes 2x a week what do I do? Will he grow out of this? Am I raising one of those kids who will never leave their parents side?

 

pbj - May 11

I think he will grow out of it. I'm also a SAHM, my dd is 6 mths and she went through a phase like this about 2-3 mths ago, and I'm sure it's coming again. The only thing I can suggest is that you keep doing what you're doing. The Y daycare more than likely will not tolerate it though, but usually grandparents will and he will eventuall learn that you will return. Right now your ds doesn't understand object permanance, which they usually understand around month 7 or 8. When he understands that you will return, it will get better. Just try to leave him with familiar people for a while, like grandma and grandpa. I'm not sure that the Y is such a good idea for now simply because I'm sure their staff changes regularly. Good luck and I'm sure it will get better.

 

LisaB - May 11

pbj do you get out of the house alone during the day at all? I feel terrible but sometimes I need a little time to my self. I love spending my days with him but getting time to myself I come back so refeshed and chill. I wonder if other sahms need a break?

 

LisaB - May 11

I hate taking him to the Y daycare, feel terrible when I have, can't wait for hubby to be done with training and back home!!

 

Jamie - May 12

Does the YMCA use the same people every day for the daycare? If so, then a possible solution would be to take him, and stay with him one day. Encourage him to play with the caregivers and the other kids. Then, next time, stay only about half the time - like if he's there for 30 minutes, stay in the room for 15 minutes, then tell him you're leaving for a little while, but you'll be back.

 

hello - May 12

You need to persist, he will settle .. just some kids take a bit longer, i used to work in daycare and its good he is only 6 mths, sometimes the earlier the easier, persist with it as he will settle down... You need to be strong and continue to leave him.... I get a break, need a break and leave her with friends sometimes but at the same time i am on my own.... Dont feel guilty for needing a break, i love being able to go shopping, try on clothes baby free and jamie just to add the only problem with that idea is sometimes when u stay too long the next time they go back they think u are staying so that never worked well when i was in childcare....it encourages independance and confidence lisa leaving them.... Please never feel guilty for it and do leave him at the ymca if the carers are permanent, being around kids is also great for him. You will see i was right and soon he will settle in.....We had a few parents who were too heartbroken and wouldnt persist which was a shame,

 

Jamie - May 12

*shrug* My method was what worked for my daughter - so I suppose it's different for every child.

 

pbj - May 12

LisaB, I do get out sometimes, but not alot. My MIL is always willing to watch her when I need a break though. I'm just one of those moms that just brings her almost everywhere I go. I would say give Jamie's advice a try. I do think the only concern is that the Y may not have the same people there everyday, and unfortunately unlike regular daycare the Y staff is not paid to care for crying babies. There's nothing wrong with needing a little time for yourself, everyone needs that. I know that when I'm able to concentrate on myself now and than, I can concentrate on my dd a lot more. My husband always tells me that a good mom knows when she needs a break.

 

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