Set Me Straight

8 Replies
ry - June 27

I am horrible, one of my husband's best friend had a baby girl this morning and i am green with envy! She had a va___al delivery and had baby out in 3 pushes (I had an awful c section and it really depressed me) and she has a beautiful little 6lb 8 oz baby and a great recovery. I have a 3 month old giant who is gorgeous and the love of my life but almost 15 lbs! I miss being pregnant and the excitment of a teeny tiny brand new baby. I am so terrible i am actually depressed. Please tell me how ridiculous I am being!

 

Rabbits07 - June 27

You're not being ridiculous. I have heard it is common for some women to feel disappointed when they have a c-section as they feel they 'missed out' on something. I don't know all of the details about the why's of your c-section, but I'm sure it was the safest way for your little girl to come into this world and that is what matters. It is totally natural to miss being pregnant, too (for some women). And I got so large with my last two that I could hardly walk the last 2 months (no exaggeration) an am still having difficulties due to SPD after this one. But, I still miss being pregnant...I always loved being pregnant. And it is natural also to miss them being wee, little newborns. I look at Mason and I'm like--WOW! How big he's gotten!-- They grow up so fast that you don't really get to relish them being tiny. I would try not to dwell on what's gone, but what you have to look forward to......sitting up alone, those first tastes of solids (and the cute little faces that comes with that), crawling, walking, etc...there's just so much to anticipate! If you continue to feel depressed you should mention it to your doctor as it could be post partum depression.

 

TC - June 27

Yes Rabbits is right. I'm one of those women who has felt jealous at times. When my neice was born v____ally 3 months ago...I couldn't help but feel like I was somehow cheated out of the process. Once, when my mom and other women in my family was talking about giving birth...they looked at me and was like, "oh you didn't give birth". I felt so excluded and then felt silly for feeling that way. I also had a very large baby. My son was 9lbs 9oz at birth and was the largest baby in the nursery at the hospital. When I started taking him out, I didn't get the same kind of comments tha other moms of newborns got bc my son didn't look like a newborn. I have to admit that a few times I felt jealous of moms with "normal" sized babies. Well like Rabbits said..don't dwell on it. My son will be 10 months on Saturday and I love him to bits and pieces. He is such a little character and I wouldn't change anything about him. Sit back and be amazed at your little angel and watch her grow. Look at her and realize that she is just perfect and the absolute extension of your heart. : ) Hope that you feel better soon.

 

olivia - June 27

I get jelous of easy v____al birth stories too. I so wanted it, it took me so long to get over the fact that it didn't happen that way for us. Now she is 10 months and I don't feel so badly about it anymore. I think there are levels of grief/recovery if you really had your heart set on a natural delivery. Even when you have a beautiful healthy baby to make it all okay. It does seem like the 3-6 month part gets a little hard too. They are still doing not much, but getting bigger, so it feels like you just have a big baby. It will get really fun soon, the 6-10 months has been increadible because so much changes everyday. I do miss the brand new stage... but I'm not one to talk b/c I have another on the way for December! Do keep an eye out for post partum depression if you have trouble getting out of bed, eating, keep feeling blue. Other than that, take care of yourself. I think what you are feeling is normal.

 

Kel - June 28

ry - I am in the SAME exact boat as you! My dd is 3 months old as well, who I love with all my heart. A family member just had her dd and she had a normal v____ally delivery. Everyone was full of excitement when her water broke. I guess the excitement of not knowing. I was so sad all weekend thinking about it. I miss being pregnant as well. My c-section was not great either, after they took the baby out, I could feel everything. i was dying in pain. I ended up getting an infection in my uterus after I came home and was terrible pain from that as well. I had to have a c cause my dd was breech. I love her more than anything in the world, but hearing her story and everyone's excitement mad me so sad! I totally feel you. I miss my little one....being "little"

 

nic nac - June 29

ry I guess I am one of the sicko's who was happy to have a c-section, lol. Don't beat yourself up about it. I am sure your doctor did what was best for your baby. I don't get jealous one bit about other birth stories, other stuff but not that. I always keep in mind that my dr. did what was best for my baby in order to have her come into this world healthy. Her heartrate kept dropping as I was in labor for 7.5 hours. I have women tell me they are jealous because it took me only 2 hours to become 10cm dialated (although i still had the horrid labor pains). I am sure your husband's best friend can reciprocate a story or two about you that she is green with evny about.

 

Suzanne - June 29

My son is 8 weeks and weighs 15 pounds. I am just trying to enjoy him for who he is though I miss him being tiny too!

 

kristie h - June 30

Hi ry, I am the same as you. I had my son 18 months ago and i had to have a c-section as he was stressed and i was only 4 cm dialated after 16 hours of labour and i was also on a drip. What toped it off for me is that i produced no milk at all so i felt as though my body was very well letting me and my son down and that my womenhood was a complete failure. I use to get jealous when hearing about other ladies giving virginal births but now that time has pa__sed by it doesnt realy bother me. I also wanted a new born baby and we started ttc just 2 months after i had my son, since his birth i have had 2 miscarriages which were both planed. As much as the miscarriages have hurt me, i am glade that i have spent his 1st two years of his life (as we are ttc) with just me him and my hubby, to tell you the truth it has taken this long for me to adjust to the life change. I look back now to when i fell pregnant 3 months after having my son with hormones and emotions still all over the place i now know that mentally and physiaclly i wasnt realy ready. I wanted another baby so badley but when it actually happend i felt like i was cheating my son and cutting his bonding time with just me and my husband way to short. If i did not miscarry i would not of wanted it any other way, but i know this time when i do fall pregnant i wont have that guilt feeling of me cheating my ds and that i am this time 100% ready emotionaly and physically then what i thought i was when he was 3 months old. This is my story as i actually done what you want to do. I say everything happens for a reason and that god took my 2 babies as he knew i wasnt realy ready and now as much as i hate to admit, deep down i am glade that it happend this way and not the way i wanted it to when my emotions were thinking for me. Good luck. Sorry this post is long.

 

ry - June 30

thanks guys, its good to know what I am feeling is semi-normal. i just couldnt love my daughter anymore, she is thee absolute love of my life, even at the end of the day when she is screaming and I hand her right over to daddy! lol. I know next year I can try again and maybe it will be different (the birth). Kristie, thanks for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your losses. I wish you the best of luck in the future <3

 

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