Since Everyone Has A Vent I D Thought I D Join In MIL

13 Replies
Smilefull - February 13

So those of you that know me will know that my son's second birthday is coming up on Teusday. So we don't usually do anything--we're pretty low key. Last year I went to my mom's and baked a character cake as has become the tradition in my family--then afterwards we brought the cake over to my MIL's and they had a little candle happy birthday action and that was that. This year my MIL phones me up and asks me "So? What are you doing?" I haven't even thought of anything. I mean I'm very into the low-maintenance life philosophy. The other thing is during the week my husband only comes from work at 8pm, I barely see him before we all go to sleep. So there's VERY little family time in the week--I cherish the little time we have. Then the next weekend my folks are coming for a visit all the way from Calgary. It'll be their first trip back--I haven't seen them in 3 months, they haven't seen the kids in three months, and it's really special to me and I want to spend time with just them. So, my mother in law is now waiting for me to set up some sort of birthday celebration for my son, while I really just want something low key with my folks. What do I do? I feel like I'm getting bullied into doing something I wasn't planning on doing, and don't want to do--yet I know she has a right to celebrate his birthday too. Any ideas out there?

 

LollyM - February 13

Well, as much as i'm sure you would rather spend time with just your fam, i'm sure dh probably wants his fam to be involved too. I would just invite her over for a low key celebration with your fam. make sure she knows it's low key so she doesn't got too excited though! If your mil is anything like mine, than i'm sure she is pretty good at inviting herself to do things with you =p

 

Smilefull - February 13

Update: so she phones this morning , talked to my husband. Asked him when the party is. My hubby says there's no party, but we would love to have her over tommorow. She says no, she has Valentine's Day plans...so he says, okay how about Monday? And she yells over the phone "Why am I never anyone's priority?" and slams the phone in my husbands ear.

 

k.p.j.e. - February 13

Jeez drama queen alert! She sounds a little unreasonable, no? I kind of think you are in a lame situation here. What can you do? She has a right to be involved, as annoying as she sounds lol. Good luck to you about this. I have gone thru similar things in the past and the in-laws always seem to win...

 

Sindel - February 14

Well I'd probably call her and tell her that your dh didnt know what you were planning and kinda smooth things over. Then like lolly said and have the low key bday party with just the grandparents during the evening?.. have cake.. presents.. I'm sure you all could sit and socalize a bit over coffee or something and quietly end the night. Hopefully its an idea that can work. Good luck

 

Smilefull - February 15

thank you so much for the great advice guys. I'm just so excited about my folks coming and I'm focused ib getting the house ready for them they are driving for 2 days to get here--my Mil lives 5 minutes away. My FIL (they're divorced)just phoned he invited himself over tommorow. I'm going to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get the house ready for my folks. He invited himself over and made sure I knowq how much of an inconvenience it is for him to come over. He also likes to come over when my husband is not around and frankly it's really akward and uncomfortable. He's also one of those "poor me" guys so he tells you how horrid his life is, and how no one likes him---and I'm just so tired of rea__suring him---"You're a great guy! Look at what you did here..." It's exhausting. My in-laws are driving me nuts. Honestly, I've been trying to be nice and understanding. My MIL , the first time I invited her over for dinner I worked all day to make the perfect dinner to impress her. I was sooo tired, and then 6 o'clock (time she was suppose to arrive) rolled around, then 6:15, then 6:30--and finally my husband phoned her, and she just said oh she's not coming anymore. I think that's where I was kind of like, listen of you don't respect my effort and time, I'm not going to go out of my way anymore. Sorry, I'm venting so much--it just feels good to just release it somewhere. I really appreciate your sympathetic ears.

 

Smilefull - February 17

The saga continues----so my MIL just showed up tonight. She phoned and informed me first, I sheepishly said "Uhm, we're having dinner but we'll have coffee afterwards"--she then proceeded to tell me that she'll only have coffee with skim milk. ..Am I CRAZY? AM I THE BITCHY DIL?? Then she was here and totally interjected herself in our conversation. My Sis-IL showed up too and didn't even say hi, she's 17 though, so I kinda chalk that up to being a "att_tudedly" teenager--but she's just downright rude to me, and that p__ses me off. I don't expect anyone to read these long annoying generic vents about my mother in law---but this is therapy---it's a release and I need it. Thank you though to those that are actually readingthis!!!

 

k.p.j.e. - February 17

Lol I'm reading it! I read every word! I like reading MIL and FIL vents. My son went to bed at 9 and I've been eating easter candy, watching tv and surfing the net this whole time. Thanks for the entertainment. But seriously though, I don't have any decent advice really, but someday they will die and maybe you will get an inheritance. Lol sorry it's the Cadbury eggs talking....

 

punkin01 - February 17

smileful i am reading every word too sweetie!!!! trust me i hate my MIL and sometimes it is therapy to read that i am not the only one with a b___hy MIL from hell.......and like i have said before IF DH and i ever split( shich i hope never happens) the first question that will be asked wont be "do you like kids" "what is your sign?' or stupid c___p like that NO NO NO it will be "is your mother still alive or were you an orphan?"

 

Smilefull - February 18

ha ha ha, you girls crack me up! Thank you for your kind and understanding---and funny responses. makes me feel sooo much better. Feel free to vent yours here too!!

 

apr - February 18

mine is so long...I just dont know where to start... I have the worst MIL EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

punkin01 - February 18

not so fast there apr.....i have the worst MIL in the world!!!!! trust me on this........

 

LollyM - February 18

hey, I love MIL vents! hell. I just posted one! I totally know how you feel. They're rude. They're annoying, and worst of all, they seem to have that invisible umbilical cord thing going on with their sons!

 

Smilefull - February 19

I have to say my hubby is pretty good about it--he's been saying--"I can't belive she did this..." That too helps, 'cause it makes me feel a little less crazy-----guys beat this my MIL is a divorced bipolar lesbian I have no problem with mental disability or s_xual orientation---it just makes life incredily complicated for my husband and for myself. Our wedding was....okay, how da hell do you organize your husbands family at the head table--I had to accomodate my FIL w/ his girlfriend and my MIL w/her girlfriend----oh did I mention that my parents are ultra-conservative??? *sigh*

 

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