SO HURT FROM MOM

6 Replies
tracyg - May 22

My kids and I went over to see my mom on Saturday. I ended up in a heated arguement with my dad, and then my mom sits me down like I am 2 and says we need to talk. She think that I am treating my kids different!! I was so shocked and hurt by the this!!! My son is 4 1/2, and my daughter is 5 1/2 months. She said it was because my son is having some issues with the bathroom (#2). He can wipe his on butt, but often times gets in a hurry and does not clean it all. AND, he talks "baby talk" to my daughter. Because of this she thinks I am treating them different, and my son is doing this for attention!!! My son helps me with the dishes every night, we play together with my daughter, and in the morning I don't wake her up so we can spend time together. I am just still so hurt by the whole thing!!! Am I doing something wrong?? I mean I know I am not perfect, but what else could I do to help my son. I just want to cry all the time about the whole thing!! I called my hubby crying, and asked him what he thought. He said I do NOT treat them different, and he got really upset that my mom would even suggest that!! I am close to my mom so I guess that is why it hurt me so bad!!! I guess I needed to vent, and needed some encouraging words!!

 

gracie - May 22

Hi, I am sorry to hear about how upset you are. Your mother is probably only around your children a little and you and your husband, who raise them, are obviously much more in clue with the actual raising of your children. And in my opinion, of course you treat them differently. They are not only different people, but different ages and have different needs at this time. You are also just starting raising two and this can be a hectic time with little time for you to think. I am very close to my mother, but she will sometimes say the most insensitive things and upset me. I personally almost always let them go as I know myself what I am or am not doing and I dont want to hurt my mother as I know she still has my best interest at heart. It is a very emotional and tiring time with a new baby and it sounds like you are doing fine. these are just some of the bumps in the road that eventually lead us even closer to the people we love. Most likely your mom is upset about you and your father fighting and what she said just came out wrong. I bet if you wait a couple weeks and meet up with your mother perhaps with out your father all will be fine. Good luck.. grace

 

tracyg - May 22

I am sure you are right; I guess it was just a bad time for everyone at the moment. It is hard having both of the kids especially since my hubby works 7 days a week!!! Thank you for your advice, and thank you for responding!!!

 

gracie - May 22

hi, just wanted to add that sometimes boys take a little longer to learn to wipe themselves as they have, stuff in the way. You may need to be helping him for little bit longer. I asked my mom about this and she said that my brother took nearly an extra year to learn to do this while us girls were quicker.... good luck

 

Rabbits07 - May 22

I can certainly understand why you were upset because I am totally lost as to why someone would think you treat your children different because of the things you mentioned. It is very common for toddlers and preschoolers to have trouble wiping after having a bm. As for talking "baby talk" to the baby...what's the harm in that? Usually children who are jealous and resort to behaviors for attention do things such as smacking the baby, regress to baby-like behavior (eg. wetting self again after potty training, wanting to nurse a bottle, etc.). Even those behaviors, however, are normal reactions for a toddler or preschooler to have to a new brother or sister and DO NOT mean that the baby is being favored. Sometimes moms can say things that are so hurtful...I know mine does and we are very close. You know that you are doing a great job and that is all that matters.

 

grandma - May 23

Of course you are going to treat them differently...they are different little people and different ages! At 4 !/2 years your son is (or should be) able to play with more independace. His needs are just as time consuming but, not the same. Sounds to me like your doing just fine. Sorry you mother upset you...give it some time and she'll be dying to get her hands on the children again.

 

tracyg - May 23

Thank you everyone for responding. I decided to go to my mom's tonight, and talk to her calmly without all the tension around. I am going to mention all the things that everyone has mentioned, and hopefully she will understand. I will write back after I talk to her; thank you again to everyone!!!

 

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