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Melissa - September 8th, 2005 1:50 AM

Hello all, I realize there is no way to stop SIDS, but I am so so scared for my baby...she's only 5 days old, and I am so scared about losing her, I never put her down, I hold her all the time, and we have a crib but I never put her in it, she sleeps next to me, and I make sure no pillows or anything is next to her. I've only had her for 5 days and I'm so so worried about SIDS, I cannot imagine having these feelings every day for the next year. Does anyone have any advise for me or any words of encouragement for me to make me feel better? Please help me I'm going nuts!


wenling - September 8th, 2005 2:34 AM

i think it gets better. when thyler was younger i worry all the time abt losing him too.. Not just to SIDS. Seems like i was worried abt everything. I was so paranoid thati rushed him to A&E when he was 5 days old when i couldn't make him stop crying. Just to make sure he was ok. Then when we got there, i manage to feed him and he dozed off looking so contented.. Sure look so so foolish then,. Sometimes when he sleeps and look so still, I even try to make him move. See if he's still breathing etc.. Now, I'm more confident that he's a strong and healthy baby so i have loosen up - well only a bit..


BBK ® © - September 8th, 2005 10:08 AM

Melissa it's natural to feel anxiety this way, but SIDS is extremely rare. There are guidelines that if followed the risk of SIDS becomes virtually non-existent.


B - September 8th, 2005 10:26 AM

Hi Melissa. I am only 5 months preg and I am already worried about sids! But I did alot of research and it made me feel better. There is a SIDS orginazation that has a website that talks about prevention. Like BBK said its extremely rare. I think the SIDS website said there are only 2500 (in the whole US!) cases a year. If reading about it will make you worse then don't BUT if being informed helps you feel better then take a look at the website.


Angela - September 8th, 2005 12:25 PM

BBK - What are the guidelines to follow?


soleil - September 8th, 2005 12:37 PM

Hi, I use to be the same way, i would always check my baby to make sure she was breathing alright and sometimes i would think she was not breathing when she was sleeping and so i would wake her up. Wenling the same thing happend to me, my baby was crying and crying and I didnt know what to do and so I took her to the emergency room. By the time they saw her she wasnt crying anymore and nothing was wrong with her. You can go to www.sids.org....... some of the things you can do is always put your baby to sleep on her back, have a firm matress, dont put other stuff in the crib like excess blankets or stuffed animals and there are more that they tell you about on the website. Good luck!


BBK ® © - September 8th, 2005 1:07 PM

Here are some: ---- (from about.com) Place baby on his/her back on a firm tight-fitting mattress in a crib that meets current safety standards.
Remove pillows, quilts, comforters, sheepskins, pillow-like stuffed toys, and other soft products from the crib.
Consider using a sleeper or other sleep clothing as an alternative to blankets, with no other covering.
If using a blanket, put baby with feet at the foot of the crib. Tuck a thin blanket around the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.
Make sure your baby's head remains uncovered during sleep.
Do not place baby on a waterbed, sofa, soft mattress, pillow, or other soft surface to sleep ---- Keep in mind that if your baby has good lung capacity, is not really small or can move the head from side to side, the chances of SIDS are even smaller. If you swaddle your baby you can use those Kiddpopotamus blankets that are like sacks. They virtually guarantee that the baby's head won't be covered up.


Amaya's mommy aka Stephanie - September 8th, 2005 1:26 PM

I agree, I was also worried about everything. We started Amaya on a pacifier early because I read it decreases risks. She doesnt sleep with me because I was too afraid I would roll over on her (I am a very light sleeper, but still worried.) I would talk to my mom about it and she told me that if I kept worring as much as I was that I wasnt going to enjoy here being a baby. So just like that I had to stop myself from waking her up every 5 minutes and running to her everytime she made a noise. She is now a very very healthy 4 month old. It is so much easier to just be a mom and let your natural instinct take over rather than trying to do everything like all of the books say (it is very hard to go by what they say because most of them say two different things) I still get up to check on her during the night (she is sleeping all night) but it is just to make sure her blanket isnt over her face or something like that. Honestly, the first three weeks were the hardest for me. I was deprived of sleep, so when I would go to sleep I would make myself not go into a deep sleep so if she sniffled or something I could run to her. Then when me and my mom had our talk, I put her in her crib (her own room) that night and she slept almost all night and I slept much better also. If you do honestly want my advice it is to get her in her own bed ASAP! Even if you need to sleep in the room with her, that is fine, but I would say the sooner you do that and realize that she will be fine, the sooner you will enjoy her like 50 times more. Good luck! Sorry this is so long and I am sure I repeated myself but OH WELL!!!


my opinion - September 8th, 2005 2:37 PM

I don't want to scare you any more, but sleeping with the baby next to you is more dangerous than putting them in their crib.


Alisha - September 8th, 2005 6:06 PM

I was the same way, I would get up and check if he was breathing like 20 a night and all day. I went crazy. But I eventually relaxed and I don't check but a few times now and he is fine. Of course that is 7 months later, but I know what your going through.


kEEKEE - September 9th, 2005 6:45 PM

Sorry if someone already said this. I don't have time to read the whole post. Ways to lower the SIDS factor.....No smoking (pregnant or around the baby) no covers/comforters, loose bedding in the crib/stuffed animals also.....put the baby on his/her back..... Honestly there is no known cause for SIDs. You only can lower the risk. remember SIDs is rare. Take care and try not to worry. Good Luck!!!


me - September 9th, 2005 7:06 PM

just to let you all know... sometimes you can do everything right, and SIDS can still happen. The things listed here to prevent it, may work or may not. A nurse in the hospital told me though, that the cases of SIDS have went down, because what they once thought was SIDS, turned out to be the spinal column at the base of the neck being injured. They didn't realise it before, but now find that to be cause of death more frequently. This happens by violent shaking, yes, but also if your baby throws his head forward or back, or just not being supported properly. So please, watch out for that too. Baby can still have a spinal injury and not show it, until one morning you wake up, and baby doesn't.... sorry, its sad but true.....


confused - September 9th, 2005 8:44 PM

how can you lower the risk when the cause is unknown?


tiffani~53 days to go !! - September 9th, 2005 10:17 PM

Melissa~ Your feelings are rational and very common. I think every parent, whether it's their 1st or 6th child lives with this fear. All you can do is what you know. Researchers have come up with some ways to reduce the chances of SIDS, which BBK and KEEKEE mentioned, and hopefully if you follow those rules (especially putting the baby on his/her back to sleep) your chances of loosing her to SIDS are very very slim. Ever since the "back to sleep" campaign began, the incidence of SIDS has dropped dramatically. Not sure why, but i'm sure if you did some internet research, you'd find some theories. My oldest turned 3 in May, and I still check to make sure she's breathing in the middle of the night. My dad said he checked on me every night until I left home. The good news for you is that SIDS occurs most often in the cold winter months and is more frequent in boys than girls. Hope we've all helped ease your fears. :o)


Jbear - September 11th, 2005 2:52 AM

It's perfectly normal to worry about your baby. We all do it, and we don't really stop when they're not babies anymore. The trick is to let your worries make you be a careful parent, but not to get obsessed with worrying. As you get more comfortable and confident with your baby you'll worry less. You'll probably still check her breathing during the night, but you won't have the overwhelming fear that you have now. I was so scared when I brought my oldest home from the hospital that I didn't sleep that night, just sat on the couch and watched her in her bassinette all night to make sure she was breathing. Of course you can't do that forever...but don't be surprised if after a couple of weeks you can hear your baby's breathing over the air conditioner, the television, whatever...because you've gotten so used to listening for it.


At - September 12th, 2005 5:26 AM

Hi Baby monitor can help. Check out Angelcare Sound & Movement Monitor
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/d
etail/-/B0000E262S/002-4198247-3314442?v=glance


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