Stay At Home Moms

8 Replies
NICOLE - April 19

i am a new stay at home mom. little one is 10 weeks, i left a great job, i have a BS in recreational therapy. however, my husband is never around. he owns his own business, which is great. i feel like he does not respect the work i do at home. we are well off, money wise, but i miss getting out and going to work. am i wrong for this? i love being at home with my little one, but i wish dh understood that it is a job. i just feel like he never wants to be at home. he says he is just trying to provide for us and build a great business. does anyone else feel lonely and will it pass?

 

AshleyB - April 19

Yes, my hubby works anywhere from 54-70hrs. a week, every week. He works 6-7days a week. He works afternoons from 3-11 or sometimes 1am or 3am. So of course when he IS home he wants to sleep, I really miss him. I am a part time student going for nursing and a sahm. He's working hard to provide for us and I love him for it, but I wish it were easier. Someday it will be I guess.

 

lilaggie2002 - April 19

Nicole, I am a SAHM....I do work , however, my son goes to work with me pretty much everyday....( I did take a break this week and hire a babysitter :) However, my husband was the same way...he didnt realize all that I did and he worked like crazy. It wasnt until I became ill and needed surgery when Nicholas was 7 weeks old, that my husband truly understood all that i did. He was completely worn out in about 2 hrs. haha They dont get it unless they are wearing our shoes....

 

Kara H. - April 19

It may be a little early to do this, but in your line of work would it be possible to work part time or PRN? I feel that working 12-16 hours a week actually makes me a better mom. I am more presnt and in the moment when I'm home, if I get my adult interaction needs met.

 

LollyM - April 20

not many men realize what sahms (or any moms for that matter) really do, or how hard we work. I have never heard my dh tell me that he appreciates what I do for our family and maybe I never will. Men just don't think the way we do. As for the loneliness issue, I've been there too. Just try to stay busy, maybe take a mommy and me cla__s (baby yoga is great and you can do it with a very tiny baby. refer to itsybitsyyoga.com)

 

lilmamaT - April 20

I agree my boyfriend and I just had an agrument over something the same. He thinks I sit on my b___t all day and watch tv, haha ya right. I do go to school have a 2 year old keep up with the house and I am pregnant. GRRR.

 

mcatherine - April 20

My husband isn't around a lot and when he is, he's on his laptop or Blackerry doing something. He's a good guy - at least he reconzies what I do as hard work and thanks me often for it. I noticed as the baby got older - I got busier and had a little less time to think about how bored I was. Plus - it is much easier to come and go when they are older. Chores, lunch with friends, shopping, baby and me cla__ses, the gym, afternoon walks, gardening, etc... There are a lot of ways you can fill your day. I have a back problem right now that has drastically limited the amount of activity I get on a daily basis, so I play online during naps, sc___pbook and play in the floor with my son. Sometimes I have to remind myself that even if what I do goes unnoticed by my husband - I know it won't by my kids - and thats really why I sah. I say it will pasa and if it doesn't then perhaps you should think about returning to work atleast p/t. Hope you feel better!

 

jacksonsmommy - April 20

I am also a stay at home mom. I had a career before but left it after DS was born. He is now 6 months old. My husband also owns his own business -- a medical equipment company. If your husband thinks you don't do enough at home and you miss working, how about helping out with his business? Maybe that would solve all your problems -- you would be able to work a little, he could probably use your help, and to top it all off, your family would be able to spend more time together. I am in the process of getting certified in order to do all of my husband's billing from home. This way, I get more familiar with the family business, and I can also work my brain some -- I don't feel as smart as I use to when I was challenged on a daily basis. Good luck and hope you can work it out.

 

frankschick2001 - April 20

I honestly DO NOT believe that men will ever consider staying at home with your baby a job. When I was on maternity leave I DREADED going back to work, and most of the time didn't even think about it because it made me feel so sad. But I will admit that as it came closer, I kind of looked forward to getting out of the house, putting on makeup and nice clothes again. Not to say that sahm's don't look nice, but I sure didn't!!! As far as your husband not being around, I guess try to talk to him without arguing about it. Tell him that you love him for being such a good provider and that you love how he is such a motivated person, but that you're lonely, miss him and want him to make more of an effort to be home just a little bit more. If he can't find a couple of hours a week more to spend with the family, thats a problem.

 

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