Supporting Role Of Husbands BoyFriends

15 Replies
mlm056 - October 15

Hi All, just curious as to what kind of help/support your husband/boyfriend provides with your lo -- with night feedings/bottle prep/ housekeeping/cooking providing you with some 'me time' while they look after lo. Thanks for sharing.

 

Krissy25 - October 15

Well my dh can't really help me with feedings b/c i bf but he will watch her when he is home pretty much whenever i ask. I do the cooking as me time that way they can play together and i can get a little break away from my dd. My dh isn't very good about helping out on his own but if i tell him to do something he will do it like laundry or cleaning up the house. I would say all and all it works pretty well for us.

 

Allisonc79 - October 15

well I wake up w/ my lo at night during the week b/c dh works and I go to school. But when he gets home at night he takes over so I can tend to other things I need to take care of. On weekends he gets up at night. But I would say in all I am tending to her more. He preps the bottles during the week unless I do it first. We pretty much make our meals independently, b/c things are kinda hectic we don't really have time to cook. If we do have a sit down meal I cook though. Housekeeping he has never been good at I still do most of that.

 

kim00 - October 15

My dh works 4 10-hour shifts, Mon-Thurs. During that time I take care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, errands, and such. But on Fri and Sat night he takes the night shift with our 7 week old. We also split household chores on the weekends. He has started encouraging me to get out of the house for a few hours on Sat, so he can have some time to bond with both of the girls. He is a huge help.

 

excited2bemama - October 16

well- I am a SAHM and I BF- so I feed the baby most of the time. She does get 1 bottle a week and DH feeds her that. He works m-f 8-5 so I do all the baby care during the day. Dh comes home for lunch everyday so he plays with her while I make lunch, and while I make dinner, wash dishes etc. I do 75% of the babycare just because I am home all the time. But he has no problem helping out if I ask. I also do all the laundry- although he folds and puts away his clothes- he does alot of stuff around the house like yardwork fixing things etc. Since he makes all the $$$- I see the housework and babycare as priarily my responsibilty- but he will do whatever- like if I ask him to do the dishes while I put the baby down for the night he will. I get up with her in the middle of the night and feed her once- if she wakes up more than that he goes in and cuddles with her/.give her the paci. DH is great though. He is so good at playing with her and making her laugh that whenever he gets home from work and says hi to her she breaks into this huge grin and giggles ( she is 4.5 months old)

 

inuk-mama - October 16

I was a SAHM when ds was a new born so i would get up with him at night, DH would take him in the morning before he went to work and then on weekends dh would get up with him. He would also take hiim once he got home from work so I could do the things I needed to do. Hope this helps. Oh and we are due again in a few weeks and plan on using the same schedule.

 

JessC531 - October 16

I stay home with dd during the day while dh is at work. I try to get all of the housecleaning done during that time too. When dh gets home, I go tutor for a few hours 3 days a week. He takes care of her and gives her a bottle of expressed milk then. I get night duty, because I'm bfing, but occasionally if I'm really tired I'll ask dh to give her a bottle during the night on the weekend. Weekends are great... dh helps out with everything, and if I want to get out, he'll stay home with her. We try to run all of our errands together on the weekends too. It really is a team effort. :)

 

DDT - October 16

My df works during the week and I SAH until my maternity ends (in Feb). When he gets home he does the night-time routine with my ds - walk, bath, book, bottle. Its time for them to bond else he would never see ds during the week because he goes to bed at 7pm every night. During the weekends we each get a morning to sleep in while the other watches ds until his first nap at 9am. I also get to go out shopping, visiting ect for a few hrs here and there while df watches ds. And vice versa for him when he wants to go and do something with his friends. I feed ds most of his meals but he will feed him his bottle every now then. He makes dinner 1-2x a week. I keep the house clean, do laundry, cook dinner most of the time, and look after ds during the week days. It took us a while to get into this great rhythm though. I think having a newborn was a little shock to the system but it worked itself out with a little help from my nagging and a few fights. I appreciate all the my df does...I probably don't tell him that enough.

 

eclectic66 - October 16

My household is a little crazy right now so our routine has been bouncing around a bit. I work 3 12 hour shifts per week (7p-7a) and on those nights dh watches ds through the night and I will usually feed and cuddle him after I get home and then give him to nanny until I have to wake up at 4pm and go back to work again. My dh works 6 days a week on the swing shift (2p-11p) so he gets home from work and cuddles for a short time before I put ds to bed for the night (this is on my nights off btw) On my off days when we are BOTH home at the same time at night I usually take the night shift and dh will take over after ds wakes up (usually around 8am) On the days we are BOTH off then we alternate shifts. I will take 1st shift, he will take 2nd and so on and so on...lol Wow, I never realized how complicated it all sounds until I typed it all out...lol BTW I failed to mention that nanny lives with us (she is fighting b___st cancer and just lost her husband to a ma__sive heart attack in June) so we are blessed with having her her help when we need it. Although we try hard NOT to have her watch him unless she wants to. She says that watching him is theraputic for her so who am I to deny her that? Lol.

 

wailing - October 16

I think we are still in the learning process of how to divide responsibility's evenly but BF helps alot when he can. But, like someone mentioned, I have to be the one to tell him what needs to be done most of the time. As of now I'm a SAHM but will be returning to work part time this week. It should be interesting to see what happens w/ housework then:) Since I b'feed and am w/ the bb most of the time I really try to keep BF involved in ds's daily routine. He's def gotten better and more comfortable since the baby is older (4months). I have to remember not to watch over him when he is caring for ds. I try to leave them alone to get their own bond. I go nuts sometimes b/c I feel like a majority of the care falls on me for the house and the bb. But, BF is good about trying to learn so that's all I can ask for:)

 

MelissaK - October 17

DH and I switch off almost every 2 nights in our LO's room, and on Saturday night, we all stay in her room (but he takes the night feed). I pump so that helps. He also is taking off every other Friday until the end of the year and takes the baby duties the entire day. I am on maternity leave and return to work in January which requires some travel. So he NEEDS to be a strong presence in the babies world so that the changes coming won't be a huge inpact. Plus he likes to do it. But NO, he does not jump forward with laundry, and when it's time to feed I have to say "it's time to feed." He still does not quite get the whole schedule thing and sort of looks perplexed as to what to do with her on his day shifts. He just reverts to holding her when I'm like "Um, she's begging for that nap now!". I think because I am with her all the time, I can read her better at this point. I do think he is doing a great job though and am proud of how interactive he is.

 

c_baer19 - October 17

I am a stay-at-home mom, and my DH works 2-4 12 hour shifts a week, so all of those days I'm pretty much on my own since he's dead tired by the time gets home at 8 PM. All the other days I usually do most of the things, though he will cook grilled cheese or chicken and rice if I'm feeding the baby (she's BF and is fussy with the bottle still). He's never gotten up at night with her, not since we left the hospital. I do almost all the cleaning, although when I get behind on it and he has a day off, he'll complain and clean some himself. I don't really get any "me time," unless I ask for it, and even then it's tough because if she gets fussy, he's not always sure what to do to calm her down.

 

c_baer19 - October 17

I don't mean to sound so bad! He's great with her when he takes her, and plays with her and rocks her to sleep. It's just that I know what she wants a little better because I spend so much more time with her. Oh, and he won't change a poopy diaper - LOL.

 

SaraH - October 18

my dh always helps out if he doesn't have to work. He changes diappers probably 2 or 3 times a week (this doesn't sound like much but he works 12+ hr's 3-4 days a week and it's nights so he's sleeping when he's home during the day on the days he's working). He will get up 1 - 2 of the mornings that he doesn't have to work, so that I can sleep in. I bf so I generally get up w/ her and do the feedings but since she is starting to eat solids he will feed her 1 or 2 on the days he's not working as well. He will get up and rock her if she awakes in the middle of the night when she doesn't need to eat and I can't get her to sleep again. He gets her dressed probabably 2-4 times a week as well, and puts her to bed 1 or 2 a week. He will keep an eye on her so that I can have an hr to myself pretty much anytime I ask and he's around (so probably 1 or 2 every couple weeks I'll ask if I can take a bath or some such and he'll take care of her). He takes care of her at other pt's to obviously but this is specifically when I ask. So, I guess my dh is pretty good about helping. He really makes an effort and I love him soooo much for it. It's great to have a dh who will get up in the morning so that I can sleep if he doesn't have to work...neither of us are mornign ppl either so, this is a BIG deal to me and a BIG deal for him to do.

 

SaraH - October 18

Oh yeah, and if there is cleaning to be done or house matenance to be done on his days off he will always do it. He has no problems doing house work to help me out, which is great and I love him dearly for it.

 

kvilendrer - October 19

Well, I go to work all day while my dh takes care of my boys (after working overnight). He does a really good job with them, too. He also pre-makes bottles for me so that I don't have to make ones in the middle of the night. He's great! But he wasn't always this way. It takes time and understanding.

 

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