Temper Control

9 Replies
ash2 - February 3

Today i feel i got a little out of control with DS. I think it might have to do with lack of sleep honestly. I work so late, that when i get home, i dont get into bed untill 1 am, and i get up at 7am. I get very irratable sometimes, but for the most part, i stay sane , lol. But today i was actaully off and i found myself falling asleep in DS's bedroom playing with him. I know it is not good for my health, but i feel their is something else i can do that i am just missing. DS was taking his own sweet time to get his shoes and coat on and i was telling him repeatdly to get moving and i finnaly just snapped and screamed at him at the top of my lungs " get over here now ! " I felt awful, but really i think he was testing my patience. He really has a hard time listening to what we say. We have to tell him like 5 times to do something before he will do it. I usually put him in timeout or spank after i have told him 2 or 3 times. But today i was just so exausted, i couldnt. I just had to take my anger out, and he was there. While we were in the car coming home from the grocery store, he got some stickers from the cashier. Well he told me that i bent the stickers like a thousand times . I told him to quit saying that or i was going to take them away from him, well he kept on and i told him to give them to me and he wouldnt . So again... i yelled. I never do this. After that again, i feel like i needed to change the way i get relaxed. I feel like i need a break. I go from kids every morning to work every night, and sleep for 6 hours just to start all over agiain and i think it is catching up with me. It has recently gotten harder with my second DS. He is starting to crawl and i have to follow him practically everywhere which makes it harder to do everyday activities. He has also cut his naps in half for some reason which gives me NO time to do what i need to do ( dishes, shower, play with older DS ) . I am just lost for words, and i dont think my husband would understand because he is a man which is why i am " venting " to you ladies. Men couldnt possibly know what we go through everyday. I mean he is great with the kids, but he calls me like every 1 hour just to " talk " and cant understand why i cant stop everything to chat with him! HELLO ! I have 2 kids...he thinks i just put them in front of the tv all day. I dont know i guess i am just looking for someone to say that they have been there and they know how i feel. I just wish i could take back that i yelled at DS. I guess all i can do is make it better tommorow..............after a good night's sleep : )

 

HannahBaby - February 3

I think a lot of us snap at our kids out of tiredness, other stresses, etc. I know there are some days my daughter would do nothing really out of the ordinary but it would just get under my skin and i would snap at her, immediately i would feel terrible, and then i would apologize and explain to her why what i did was wrong. Like today she wouldn't stop standing on the chair during dinner. She slipped and almost feel (my husband has the reflexes of a cat) and he grabbed her and i yell "THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU NOT TO STAND ON THE CHAIR" I was yelling at her because she almost got hurt and i felt the dump of adrenaline into my system. She looked at me and i could SEE the hurt in her eyes, and she put her head down on the table and covered her eyes. I explained to her that i was sorry that i yelled at her, i was just upset and didn't want her to get hurt, and i was wrong. Don't worry girl, you are doing a great job, as i have said tons and tons of times, i don't know how you do it, full time job, full time mom and house wife, You are truly amazing. Hope things start looking up for you real soon

 

hello - February 3

Yelling is from tiredness, frustration, Maybe even being exhausted and fed up from the days being pretty much the same all the time... I have yelled too at times and its when i am tired, frustrated etc... I feel bad later and i really make a point of trying not too cause my daughter isnt phased anyway...Does hubby help with the housework? Somehow you need to sleep more ... maybe on your days off talk to him about getting up with the kids so u can sleep in, its only fair... So its not so mundane and routine take time for yourself to go out for dinner with friends, shopping... Go out with hubby too and get parents to babysit.... His can babysit cause i recall from reading about your life your mum isnt the best in those terms... ( i am sure i have the right person or hope so in that) and i am not being smart by that comment, .... Of course men dont understand, u are young but thats one thing u have learnt and its good cause u know like me and many others they have no idea... Talk to someone who does have a clue, friends with kids ... Even take turns to babysit their kids and they can help babysit yours in your free time so thats another option.... I cant imagine going to bed so late and waking so early... Any chance of starting work earlier and finishing earlier? Good luck and remember u dont have to be mum all the time....do take time out for you also without the kids........

 

hello - February 3

When i feel like i am going to yell hah... I just kinda say to myself... keep it cool... Some parents must yell all day, i know one lot that do so dont feel so bad cause u know u arent one of those u know....take care

 

Crissy - February 3

Hey ash, I just wanted to write and say I know exactly how you feel. I don't yell at my dd, because she is only 15 months old and doesn't know any better anyway, but I find myself yelling at my dh all the time over stupid things. I work a similar schedule, second shift. I bathe, feed, change, entertain baby in addition to keeping the house up, etc. all day and work all night long. (And I can't imagine having 2 kids to look after - that would probably do me in for sure! lol) Although I do work from home, it actually only makes it worse since dh thinks that because I am there, I can work and continue to watch dd too, which is REALLY not easy to do. In addition to that, I can't just fall asleep as soon as I lie down because I have horrible allergies and postnasal drip that keeps me up until at least 1:30 or 2:00. Then it starts all over again the next day, and I find myself nodding off all the time like you say you do. I just wish I had more energy!! And it's like you don't have a single moment during the day (or night) to do anything for yourself, or at least that is how I feel sometimes. Anyway, just wanted to say you're not alone. :-)

 

mandee25 - February 4

Hon, do NOT feel guilty for this. You have so much going on right now that you wouldn't be normal if you didn't snap now and then. I yell at my dh sometimes when I am lacking sleep over dumb things and feel so bad afterwards. He really is a great man! My ds is almost 11 weeks old so I can't say that I have yelled at him but when I get frustrated from his crying and I am really played out I end up putting him down in his bouncer or somewhere safe and have a good old fashioned boohoo. I lete it all out and feel better afterwards. Ash2, I hope you get a break so you can catch up on some rest. You deserve it! :-)

 

mandee25 - February 4

One more thing. I grew up in a house where my parents would yell and fight in front of us and I vowed to never let my child endure this. I need to work on not yelling at dh.

 

eclipse - February 4

Its amazing what a little sleep will do for restoring your state of mind. I wish I could get some-having major insomnia. All I want to do is sleep, but I just lie there. So that translates to yelling and random crying jags, usually while ds is crying. It will get better, hang in there. I declare it naptime! :)

 

ash2 - February 4

Well last night i fia___lly got about 8 good hours of sleep ! I feel very refreshed and i feel like i have made a big turnaround from yesterday. DH wanted to rent a movie last night, but i told him i was desperate for sleep, so we didnt and i went to bed around 10:30.....thanks for the input ladies....after reading your responses i didnt feel as bad : )

 

Nerdy Girl - February 4

Ash, I think I remember from some of your older posts that your older child is 4??? If so, know that you are not alone in the yelling. Four year olds really know how to get your goat.

 

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