To Bonnie And LisaB Quite Long Sorry

21 Replies
nic nac - June 20

Hi ladies. I have the best news!! Bonnie you are going to want to give me a cyber smack ,LOL. Aalyiyah has been sleeping throught the night from 8 to 6 for the past week!!! It definitely isn't a fluke. And, we ended up using the CIO, again. I know, I know, we were going back and forth with pick up put down and CIO cuz dh and I couldn't agree but let me tell you two what happened. At first, dh wanted to do CIO and i said no, then I caved in and we gave it a try. Dh couldn't handle it so we went back to pick up/put down. For four consecutive nights i did pick up/put down then it was semi successful then it was dh's turn for night duty and he didn't have the patience for pick up/put down soooooo, he said "This is ridiculous, no matter what she still cries so I am going to let her CIO". I said fine cuz i was tired of going back and forth and I said, dammit, we have to be consistent. So, our new plan was to let her cry for 20 min and then check on her. Well after 20 min she went to sleep and didn't wake until morning. 2nd night of CIO, 20 min and she was out like a light until morning. For the next four nights she just went to sleep on her own and didn't wake until morning. We still cuddle with her and rock her until she is drowsy before we put her down. Hearing her cry was so damn hard but it was harder to walk around like zombies. Thanks for all of your help Bonnie. Question Bonnie, what do you do with Mason if he wakes in the night crying?

 

Bonnie - June 20

Bah...you get a cyber hug not a cyber smack! lol I am so glad to hear you are finally getting some sleep. What I do with Mason depends. If I think it is behavioral, I still let him CIO. If he wakes up I generally let him cry and his cries last less than 15 minutes and are not very strong and he is out. He rarely does that................That being said, the past week he has been waking up in full on screams. I think his reflux is acting up again so we just changed his medication. I don't THINK it's a behavioral thing right now (though I might be wrong). In any case, I can't leave him if I think he is in pain so I "give him the finger", lol. He calms by sucking on my finger for a few minutes then goes back to sleep. :D Good for you though!! I sure hope it continues!!! (((((HUGS)))

 

LisaB - June 20

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you we are trying cio again my mom is coming tomorrow and shes gonna wig when she hes ds crying ( she thinks its mean) so it may be put on hold again for a week. Am really happy for you. Doesn't it change your whole perspective?

 

nic nac - June 20

Thank you Bonnie!! Yes LisaB we are so much happier. And our perspective has changed. Letting her CIO helped us to understand what makes her tick ya know. It helps us to better tell when she is pulling our leg or if she is crying cuz she is sick or teething since she rarely cries during the day. LisaB, I think you should try the CIO when it's just you and your hubby. Your mom can make it worse if she doesn't agree with the method and it may make you go crazy, just my 2 cents. One thing that helped with the crying was to keep ourselves busy so we didn't hear it that much. Clean the kitchen, laundry, take a shower or whatever and check on her after 20 min. And we made sure she wasn't hungry, wet, sick or ga__sy before putting her to bed. Once she started sleeping through, we figured out that she was just as frustrated as we were with getting no sleep. Keep the following in mind: #1. A well rested baby learns better and is more attentive and alert. #2. Well rested parents are better parents. #3. It's better to do it now before they get too mobile cuz then they can climb out of their crib or have a tantrum and that makes it harder. #4. I have heard one too many stories from friends and family that have 2, 4 and 5 year olds who still don't sleep through the night. I kept all those in mind while hearing her cries. Hugs........

 

nic nac - June 20

I know some of you reading this may not agree with this method and I was hell bent on not using it but in the end after trying other methods with no success, this is what worked for us. It's not for everyone but when you are really in tuned to your baby's needs you will find what method works best for your baby's personality. All babies are different and have different needs based on his or her's personality.

 

Rachael mommy2lucas - June 20

I am so happy it worked for you nic-nac. I know you were struggling with sleep issues a s well as I was. I too was not for CIO for a long time, especially for the reasons of Lucas's reflux in the earlier mos. He really was in pain, and would throw up if I let him cry long. Now that he is 10 mos and the reflux is better, I started doing it after 9 LONG mos of no sleep. It took some time, but has worked so well, and I am so happy. He now goes right to sleep on his own no crying at all. A big accomplishment for us! he still wakes once a night but goes right back to sleep and has now slept thru the night twice, I know LOL, twice at 10 mos, but for us, we will take it I hope Aaliyah keeps it up. Obviously there is something to this CIO, or it would not be so successful!.

 

nic nac - June 20

Hi Rachael, I am glad you remembered. I haven't seen you lately on the other forum. I am glad its working for you too!! Yayeee!!! I swore I wouldn't do the CIO but you are right, there must be something to it cuz it is works. You know, Bonnie's son Mason has reflux too and she started CIO at 4 months and it has been great for her. If you have any questions regarding CIO and reflux she can help you. I know you are too happy after many months of being a zombie. Yayyeee for us.

 

TinaMarie - June 20

nic nac I am the same as you, I swore I would never do cio. But after her not sleeping through the night at 6.5 months I was ready! It only took about 3 nights, it was the hardest 3 nights though!! I do not think I could have done it with out Bonnie's advice!

 

Bonnie - June 20

We did start the CIO after Mason was under good control with the reflux and per the GI advise. It is not something I feel should be done when the child is not under control. I am sure that's obvious but just wanted to point it out before people start thinking me cruel again, lol. I got a LOT of c___p from here in the beginning when I started it. I also do not think it is for everyone. I think attachment parenting works just as well. But I do get tired of hearing all the anti-CIO stuff as well. There is a healthy way to go about it and we all try to do what is best. ;)

 

nic nac - June 20

I agree TinaMarie. Kudos to Bonnie.... :). I am glad it worked for you as well. I think you just have to get to the point where you are fed up. Most people want to use it as a last resort. It makes it a little easier knowing you have tried everything else.

 

nic nac - June 20

Bonnie i didn't realize you had gotten so much flack. Well hopefully others will see that it works and use this post for encouragement. Attachment works well too but just not for me.

 

nic nac - June 20

Bonnie you are absolutely right. I am behind you 100%.

 

Bonnie - June 20

It's not that I am so 100% pro CIO. I honestly think all methods work just fine. We chose the CIO because Mason's sleep pattern was completely otu of whack from his prior reflux issues. I honestly was worn out, tired, and fed up and needed some sleep myself. I did not want to do the attachment parenting thing and be stuck up through the night any longer than I had to. His first 2 months I was getting about 2 hours per night of sleep so you can imagine what that does to a person. As soon as Mason was pain-free the doc felt it would be better to get him sleeping through ASAP. I just think CIO can work very well and I get irritated when I see posts at times talking about hopw terrible it is and that you are harming your baby and that is absolutely false. There is a healthy way to go about it just like there is for any other sleep method. I think we all have to choose what fits us best.

 

LisaB - June 20

I think cio works when you and baby are ready for it. Nic Nac and Bonnie I am so confused because the book I have ( Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby) says if ds wakes in middle of the night and is hungry to feed him as long as he goes right back to sleep and doesn't play well ds does nurse then goes right back to bed but ped says ds should be sleeping thru the night and there is no need to be eating at night so I am torn which is probably why cio hasn't worked for us. To feed or not. I don't want to make him cio if hes hungry but how do I tell? He goes to sleep fine but will cry around 12 or 1 I will nurse than again around 4 or 5 we are nursing. Augh!!!! I agree we shouldn't do cio while my mom is here but dh had me start it two nights ago which I caved and nursed once each night. I don't want to do a disservice to my son by not teaching him to sleep. Ok augh- I think you get the picture. Thanx for listening AGAIN

 

nic nac - June 20

When i said i was behind you 100% i meant that I agree with you that it's not for everyone and that if you have a baby with reflux proceed with caution and also that other method work well too. Sorry if that was unclear. :)

 

nic nac - June 20

Hi LisaB, yes you and your baby have to be ready for it, no question. Wow, if you already started the CIO two days ago then you should continue. Do you think you and your dh can continue if your mom throws a fit? That's the real question. If the two of you can tough it out through outside criticisms then continue on. I just thought it might be hard for others to deal with and make you even more frazzled. As far as the book goes, is it pro CIO? What does it say about getting baby to sleep through the night? If all else fails maybe you should propably do this in two stages. #1. get rid of the night feed to make sure he isn't hungry, then #2. Try CIO. Forgive me but I forgot how old your ds is but based on your ped. recommendations it sounds like he is of age where night feedings should be eliminated. If you keep feeding him at 1am, he is always going to do that out of habit and you will never know if he really is hungry or not. Have you tried some other method of getting him back to sleep? You have to do something other than feed him, that is the only way you will know if its hunger or not. First, you should increase his intake during the day by the amount of feed you are giving him at midnight or 1am. I know you said he doesn't take a paci but did you try holding the paci in his mouth until he goes back to sleep? Did you try rocking him back to sleep to see if he would calm down without a bottle or b___st? Try anything other than feeding him for a few nights. I know its hard but you have to try it. Then, when you know he isn't hungry you can resume the CIO. Unless you are ready to go cold turkey and not feed him no matter what. The only time a baby should get a night feed that is old enough to sleep through the night is when they are having a growth spurt. And that only lasts a few days. Is he on solids? If so , increase the solid intake as well. I know I asked a lot of questions but I want to help you the best way i can. A baby thats 5 months and older should be able to go 9 or 10 hours without a feed. Remember, make sure you increase his intake during the day. Keep us posted LisaB! Don't worry, things will get better only when are comfortable with making a change.

 

nic nac - June 20

one more thing. my dd was 12lbs when i got rid of the nighttime feed so I don't know how much he weighs but if he has doubled his weight he really doesn't need that extra feed.

 

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