To Dissapline Or Not To Dissapline

18 Replies
kristie h - March 22

Hi ladys, I live in Australia and they have bought in that you are not allowed to smack you kids as you can get charged for assult. Well i belive in disapline but i think ppl around me dont. I see ppl that dont disapline their kids and the kids walk all over their parents and i dont want that to happen to me. But if i smack my child for throwing things at ppl they look at me as if am a bad mum. What do you think? I think smacking should be allowed in situations when needed how else will they learn right from wrong.

 

Brooke Mama Crow aka Brachah - March 22

Discipline is a necessary responsibility of parenting. But I have to ask: What is your definition of smacking?

 

JenniferB - March 22

Honestly, I don't like hitting. I think there are many other ways to discipline a child without hitting. My 2 1/2 year old gets upset when I raise my voice and he knows I mean business because I hardly ever do it. He is really well behaved. I think people that freak out and scream about everything their kids do end up losing control because the kids start thinking it is normal and they tone them out. I have a sister in law that smacks her kids every once in a while and her kids smack other kids when they get mad. She gets upset with them but how can she explain that it is okay for mommy to hurt them but it isn't okay for them to hurt others? Now I am not going to say that an occasional swat on the b___t or a slap on the back of the hand makes someone a bad parent. I just think that kids would be better behaved in general if parents were not so quick to give up and give in when kids are misbehaving. Like the kid that freaks out in the grocery store for a candy bar when mom says no so she throws it in the cart anyway to shut the kid up. I was raised in a home that I was never hit and my mother said I was a great kid. I was very well behaved. It was because I was taught what respect was. Sorry, I swayed a bit from the question, lol. My answer is that I will never hit my children because I feel that it is teaching them something that I wouldn't want them to do to others. Just my opinion.

 

kristie h - March 22

Hi Brooke, I dont know where u are from but in Australia smacking is like spanking. Like if my child did somthing wrong like pull hair i would smack his hand. Nothing to hard just enough to let him no that what he did was wrong or naughty.

 

kristie h - March 22

Hi Jennifer, I totally see where you are coming from that is why i thought i would open this thread. At this ponit in time my son is 14 months old so i cant put him in the corner or take his toys away he doesnt understand that far yet as you would know. I was smacked when i was a child and no i never hit anyone but as we got older to understand we were punished in different ways like washing the dishes for a week or no desert after dinner or had to be in bed by 6.30 and miss out tv shows.

 

jg - March 22

Discipline is necessary to raise healthy and respectful kids. You only need to look at many children and teenagers today to see that they have been allowed to run riot and all they do is cause havoc in the streets and are an absolute nuisance, and they have no respect for themselves or for others. In some cases they have received no discipline, in other cases they have received overly harsh discipline.....there needs to be a balance. I definately believe in smacking - hand or bum, but not face or head! Children need consistent guidelines with consequences for bad behaviour, to feel like they are in a safe and loving environment. At 14 months, like you said, you can't "reason" with your child, and if he is going to reach out to touch the oven or woodheater or powerpoint, a tap on the hand and a sharply spoken word like "HURT" or "HOT", might be the difference between your child getting hurt or not. Many people completely disagree with spanking, but look at the last generation to the current one.......childrens and teens behaviour has totally got out of hand because the old tried and tested methods are being ignored or ruled out as "barbaric". OBVIOUSLY there is a huge difference between this kind of mild discipline and abusive situations, but in it's place (and depending on the child as well), then I believe it can help a child learn right from wrong.

 

dee23 - March 23

hmm...im also from australia and never heard about them stopping smacking......i dont have any kids yet, but from what ive learnt from friends, the kids usually laugh at you and play up even more if you smack em.....best to put them in an empty room to think about what they have done.

 

Annette - March 23

Mmm, I was raised in the time when spanking (spanking, NOT beating) was a normal parental procedure (not daily, just normal) and not child abuse. Quite honestly I am scared to see how some children behave nowadays, I am going to sound like a grandma but when I was little, we had respect for authorities and got disciplined. It didn´t traumatize me and I love my parents to death, I am actually thanful that they spanked me when they had to, which didn´t happen too often, children learn quicly! I have an 8 year old niece who has never received a spank, not only she treats her mother and any other adult with no trace of respect, but it´s to the point where family and friends don´t invite her family to parties and reunions anymore because she just can´t socialize. I am NOT encouraging you to smack your baby, but what my mom did with my little brother was using the back of a hairbrush so it wasn´t her hands directly slapping his b___t; and yes, also my brother who is 20 now loves my parents to death.

 

Mommy - March 23

It's a shame spankings are considered so horrible now. In the day, you almost never seen kids pull the stuff they do now, and even if they did, it didn't go unpunished. Now, kids are too smart for their own good. The law can't touch them, you can't touch them, and their parents can't touch them and they KNOW it. I see kids all the time, throwing tantrums and calling their parents names and spitting on them. I'm not ashamed to admit that if MY kids were ever caught throwing rocks at cars, spitting on people or stealing or just being disrespectful to their elders in general, they would get a spanking. I'm not quite sure why everyone is so down a whippings. If it's through clothes with your hand, I don't see a problem. It's amazing how, like 50 years of "anti-spanking" studies try to compete with over 100 years of good, respecting people as a result of spanking. No one I know was traumatized, violent, or messed up because of spankings. It's all in how you do it and them understanding why you are doing it.

 

Mommy - March 23

P.S. Note that I did not say *every child* should be spanked. If time outs and other methods work for you and you never have to spank, congrats. Some people have to mix methods to get results. I do not believe in spankings for EVERYTHING, just the major no no's.

 

Brooke Mama Crow aka Brachah - March 23

Now that I know that "smacking" is not back-handing a child across the face or beating the holy c___p out of a child ... I also believe "spanking" is necessary as long as it is not done in ANGER. I am just shy of 37 years old and have three daughters: aged 15, 11 and 4 months. Both of my older girls received "spankings" when situations called for it, and they are not emotionally scarred or wounded ... they do not have tyranical att_tude problem or display any agressive/violent tendencies ... in fact, they are well-behaved and respectful Honor students; and have a wonderful level of self-confidence. Teachers constantly praise my husband and I for our well-rounded children and the influence we must have surely had/have in their lives. Guess what? As adorable as my "miracle baby" is ... she also will get her little behind swatted when necessary. AS far as people looking at you as if you are a bad mom: know that there are many differences of opinion and all are ent_tled to their opinion. There will be those who will snarl at you for disciplining your children ... and there will be those, like me, who will shudder if you don't. :)

 

Cat - March 23

Every child needs discipline, but remember that doesn't mean spanking...although it could include spanking. I have spanked my oldest (14)and regret it. My middle son I haven't (7) and have just as good results...actually, better. I don't plan to spank the youngest either. Reward works *far* better than punishment, but I admit it still has it's place. The punishments I've used are time outs, grounding, taking away special objects, being sent to bed and my all time ~fav~ extra chores, lol. It's amazing how quickly a little work makes one do a complete turn around. I've also went as far as "going on strike"...not allowing them to ask me for any extras/favors for 24 hours. "You need (want) your favorite shirt washed? No. Wear one of the others." or "You need (want) a ride to where? No." They hate that. Needless to say, I *rarely* , *rarely* have issues with them now and when I do, it's a piece of cake to correct. My oldest has asked me time and again, "can't you just hit me?" No! ;-) (Seriously, try it...nothing to lose.)

 

Cat - March 23

PS I know this doesn't work on toddlers in the same way as it does children.

 

Shea - March 23

I grew up in the south where corporal punishment was common, we even had paddles in the schools. I have to say I beleive that children were much more respectful and better behaved. Child abuse is something else entirely and should not be tolerated under any circ_mstances, but it seems people are on a "witch hunt" now and anyone that spanks their child is fair game.

 

fabienne - March 23

I'm for spanking but it is not the only way to discipline. There's a time for it.

 

Maggie - March 23

In extreme circ_mstances I think spanking is warrented. When my son was three he broke away from me and ran right into the street, mind you we live in NYC so running into the street can get you killed. When I caught my son I brought him onto the sidewalk and gave him a whack on his b___t. I didn't make him cry, but being that I never spank him, he got the message right away and has never done anything like that again. I'm taking the strict parenting approach with my children because my parents took it with me and it worked. My son is respectful and well mannered. He says "sir, ma'am, please, thankyou, etc. When I did have to spank my son that day, and in public no less, not one person said anything to me. In fact one women told me that I did exactly the right thing. I also haven't done it since, but would do it again if the situation were serious enough.

 

Meredith - March 26

Spare the rod, spoil the child. I dont spank for every infraction - but sometimes I gotta. My step children on the other hand, I never spank - I leave that for Papi, and they get the corner, or "just wait till your papi gets home" LOL

 

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