To Moms With Reflux Babies

20 Replies
be - February 16

to moms with reflux babies-what do you do when your child is screaming and crying and is incosolable? what do you do??????????????? yesterday i almost lost it and i cried and cried and cried and cried. my husband got home and just put the baby to bed for awhile and she quit, but i know i can't do that everyday and all the time? so what do i do when she cries and cries? what do you do? she's on previcid now so hopefully that will work, but nothing seems to help her when we're at home. when we're away, she's seems to be ok for the most part-a little crying here and there but not like at home. so what can i do when we're at home? i carry her around sometimes in the front carrier or play with her in the bumbo or on her mat or in her activity center, other than that i don't know what else to do? she tires of these activities quick and then it's back to crying! please help with any suggestions!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M AT MY WIT'S END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

aurorabunny - February 16

Hi be--How long has your lo been on Prevacid?? Those medecines can take a few weeks before they even begin to work, let alone take full effect. You can make sure that you are holding her up for at least 30 minutes after she eats anything, and that whenever she is laying down that the head of her crib/ba__sinet is elevated. Also make sure that you get all of her burps out and maybe feed her smaller, more frequent meals. How old is she?? I know how frustrating it is when they just cry and cry and you feel like you can't do anything to make them feel better. If you have been on the prevacid for a good amount of time then maybe it's time to try something else but you want to make sure you gave it enough time to work. Hope some of this helped.

 

be - February 16

she just started prevacid yesterday. she's 5 months old. i also hold her up 30 min after she eats, make sure she burps and her crib and everything else that she lays on is elevated. i tell you i'm at my wit's end with the crying that i'm just not a happy person anymore. i'm losing myself in this process and i know it's not about me but i just can't handle the crying anymore.

 

be - February 16

bump

 

eclipse - February 16

I'm right with you, be. All we can do is understand that they are in pain, are extra clingy and messed up because of it, and give them the love they need. And if you need to set her down and step away for a few minutes, do it. Go outside, take a deep breath. Go into the bathroom and rinse your face. Do what you have to to come back. I"ve been there many many times, especially recently, and they haven't put my son on meds yet (!). Good luck. Try to find someone to watch her and go out for an hour, even grocery shopping can make you sane again.

 

be - February 16

thanks ecliipse-it's very hard as u know to have a reflux baby and it's hard on them too. i'm just going nuts over here with all her crying. i also have another child that needs attention so it's very hard to stay focused on just her. i have to pay attention to my other one too and that's why it can be sooooooo frustrating at times. i feel so trapped and tired, frustrated, angry, every negative emotion-you name it-i feel it. i can only hope this too shall pa__s-sooner than not!!!

 

aurorabunny - February 16

Be----That explains why the Prevacid hasn't started working yet, it can take up to 2 weeks to even start to show signs of it working. But the good news is that it usually DOES work. They should have told you that when they gave you the prescription of how long it can take to work (something our ped forgot to tell us as well--Thanks, lady!). Is this his first med or did they try him on Zantac first?? Since Brody was started on Zantac first, we just continued the Zantac with the Prilosec for the first several weeks so he wouldn't be going without any meds at all. When Brody first started with his reflux at about 2 weeks old, when we were going through all the diagnosing, I just had to do what Eclipse suggested and sometimes step outside or go in the other room and just take a breather. He would just wail the same whether I held him or put him down so sometimes you just need to put him down and hop in a quick shower, get some earplugs, step outside, something. Just keep that in mind that most likely the medecine WILL work and it's only a matter of time!

 

be - February 16

she started with zantec at first and that didn't do anything at all. so now-previcid and she said it should start working within a couple of days-i'm waiting!!!!!! well, she's in her crib now and crying of course-but i can't take it so i'm out here. the only thing is that when i return-she'll still keep crying!!!!! i'm so depressed right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Perl - February 16

be I understand your frustration. My little guy was only sleeping one hour at a time last night. I nearly lost it and felt like dying. I've cried before too, I don't anymore. I just go through the motions of trying to console him and try to understand how much he needs me to comfort him because he's in so much pain. I hold him in my arms in an upright position (because he stiffens his entire body during feeding) and I walk with him while I rub his back until he burps and/or vomits. He always relaxes and is happier after a good burp but sometimes it just takes long sometimes 15 minutes for a good burp. Also, the little guy can spend hours sleeping on his fisher price papasan swing (it swings side to side and is more like a recliner for babies than a swing because his legs & feet don't dangle.) Do you have a swing or a bouncer chair---it seems to distract them from the pain in their tummy & throat sometimes. A good mobile in the crib is a good distractor too. I sit my lo in his boppy pillow in the crib right under the mobile and it cheers him up for at least 30 minutes most times. BTW my lo is 3 months old & has been taking Zantac for about a month now. He vomits less now but still has the symptoms. I think we just have to accept that this is part of motherhood for us and comfort our babies as much as we possibly can. I know you have another child so you may have to just hear a little more crying--just be sure to check on him often. I've caught my little guy choking on vomit a couple of times--it's very frightening to see. I just feel so sorry for these little ones who have this problem but I know they will outgrow it sooner or later. Hang in there.

 

Perl - February 16

I forgot to add that my little guy responds better to me when I'm calm and rea__suring. When I'm p__sy and tired, I'm not so good and handling him and he just crys more. I think babies sense or somehow pick up on your feelings and respond to it. So as difficult as it is--try to be more calm, nurturing and rea__suring and it's very possible your baby will pick up on that and calm down a little more.

 

EMBERBABY - February 16

Hang in there be. dd is on prevacid and has been since before she was 2 months old. It has CHANGED our lives. Our baby is a happy baby now. Normal fuss here and there but I will never forget the horrible screams from acid reflux. I would sit hoding my baby and cry along with her. There were many nights that we cried together just remembering it makes my eyes water it was so aweful. But it WILL get better trust me. DD sleeps through the night and has done so since before she turned 3 months. Dh helped a lot he would take from me sometimes when I was as inconsolable as she was and would give me a few minutes to regroup and calm down. I tried propping her up for up to 30 minutes after feedings but that didn't work so I stopped letting her lie flat and would instead put her in her bouncy chair orswing not her crib. Prevacid is WONDERFUL and it will work it just takes time.

 

Bonnie - February 16

Be, I will also confirm that the Prevacid takes a minimum of 2 weeks to do anything at all. A good 6 weeks for the full effect. Like your baby, Zantac didn't do anything for Mason. I had no faith at all that the Prevacid would either but it did. It's a much stronger and different type of drug. It has to get into the system to work. I noticed the first change 13 days after Mason was on it. That was 10 months ago and I still remember that clearly. Those first 2 weeks are hell. And because your baby is no longer on Zantac, it will be like nothing at all until it kicks in. So if anything, things are worse. Hang in there though, it will kick in. You just have to ride out a couple weeks..................................................................................As to answer your question as to what you do. Very simple. You put her down. Do you have a bouncy chair? Put her in it, put on some teletubbies or Baby Einstein. Step your b___t outside the door and just breath. You see all of these posts all the time about how you never let a baby cry, etc. etc. That goes out the door with reflux. Yes she is crying for a reason. It hurts like a mother f*****! Cuddler her and hold her often. But you also need to set her down and step back when you get to the point of losing it. You also need to eat. You also need to shower. She is going to cry whether she is in your arms or not. And I know....oh God, how I know...how much you don't want to put her down. You want to stop her pain. But at this moment Be, it is beyond your control. Accept that and understand there is nothing you can do but try and comfort her. And when you feel like it is getting to you, put her down. I can tell you a thousand times over that putting her in buncy chair while you eat, shower, or just step outside for 10 minutes is not going to effect her mentally one little bit. The more stressed you are, the more she is going to feel that anyway. Never would I have ever harmed my son, but I can understand after dealing with reflux, how shaken babies can happen. I am ashamed to admit I semi-snapped and yelled at him when he was 2 months old. At that point I hadn't eaten in 24 hours and hadn't showered in 3 days.And yes, I could have asked my mom to come watch him. But I didn;t have the heart to leave him when I knew he was hurting so bad. Man...I am really rambling here. It's just that your post sounds SO d__ned familiar it brings tears to my eyes. My advice is to hold her as often as you can, accept that at the moment you are unable to stop the pain until the drugs kick in. Hold her often, but also, put her down often. And go sign up on the boards at infantrefluxdisease.com Those ladies will totally know ehre you are coming from.

 

dee23 - February 16

yes be, hang in there. my ds used to scream and scream and there was nothing we could do either. zantac and other meds actually made it worse. he would choke almost every day several times, just scream bloody murder all the time ontop of that horrible acid smell. he is 7 months old now and it is alot better, but not completely gone. he onnly gets acid now like once a week, were it used to be all day everyday. he still spits up a small amount a few times a day, but nothing like it was, and he is sleepiing better. reflux peaks around 3-5 months, for ds it was 2-4 months. just know that you are not alone. i know how unbeleivably hard it is. we cant do any more from our ends but tell you that this will pa__s. and i was like you. its horrible i know, the crying, the anger, i never really felt love for my son until he was 5 months or so. he still seems to scream alot when we are out, which is quite stressful,, but the reflux isd manageble. hun i really feel your pain, i know how it gets TRUST me. just try and keep it together for ur lo. remember, she is not out to get you, she needs you more than anyone in the whole world, she just doesnt know how to survive pain any other way than screaming. i know you know this, i know its just hard to remember in the mist of it all sometimes. i felt like, and still feel like ds is the only refluxy baby i know. and i know its hard to want to spend there baby years having good memories, but unfortunatly, this is what she has and you just have to deal as best you can. i hope she gets better sooner than later.....alot of babies valves begin to close sooner than others, so hopefully you will be able to enjoy the most part of the first year. you will get through it, just take it day by day, and try not to make it the center of ur thoughts, time will go quicker that way, it worked for me.

 

Bonnie - February 16

And just on an added note, because a lot of peopel here know I did eventually do CIO with Mason to get him to sleep. We had to do that because the reflux had messed his sleep patterns up so much. But once he was well controlled on the medication and pain free, we did CIO based ont he GI's suggestion. Anyway, I think the reflux actually made doing CIO easier for us. You almost get numb to the crying after a while. It's a horrible thing to have a baby that cries 10 hours non stop and you can't do one single thing, even a car ride, to distract it. ...............Be, just accept the situation for what it is right now. You are a great mommy and are doing perfectly by getting her this Prevacid. All you can do for the next 2 weeks is try to be there for her and understand she is going to have pain and cry. You can call the doc and ask if you can give some Mylanta at opposite times of the Prevacid. it helps some (though did nothing for Mason). In the meantime, try not to stress and just understand that it will ease up in a couple weeks. Get yourself a bouncy chair and a couple DVD's for her to watch and set her down. (((((HUGS))))

 

be - February 16

omg thanks soooooo much ladies for all your help. i mean it-it helps to know that someone else went/is going through the same thing and it helps to know it gets better for those babies who are better. two weeks for the previcid to kick in huh? boy that is disheartning-but at least it will. zantec did nothing so maybe this will work. she didn't sleep earlier-she just cried and cried in her crib but it did give me a break and then we went for a drive-so she's calm b/c she just finished eating and then we're going to the park with my other daughter. once again ladies thanks for all your rea__surances-i really appreciate it and i feel so much better b/c some of you know exactly how i feel. i'm sometimes admit my feelings about this b/c i'll be looked at like a bad mom but at this point i don't think i care anymore. i do have another question for the ones that have silent reflux-my lo sleeps at night-all night and she doesn't spit up, it's just during the day that she's upset. is this normal for a reflux? i read about how your other babies are spitting up, well she doesn't-thank god and thank god she sleeps through the night. that's why i was also doubting if it was reflux-wishful thinking on my part.

 

be - February 16

i mean i sometimes doin't admit my feeelings b/c i don't want to look like a bad mom-sorry about that -the first one didn't make sense.

 

be - February 16

bonnie-can i email you sometime

 

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