To The Full Time Mums I Need To Vent Are We Bludgers

21 Replies
kristie h - April 6

Hi Ladies, I am here to vent. I am sick and tired of ppl thinking that i am a bludger cause my hubby works and i stay home look after my 1 year old son. I use to work b4 i had him so to me work is a holiday compared to being a full time mum. Childcare is so expensive and if i did go to work all my pay would be going on childcare fees, Its not like i am on the wellfare or anything. Is there anyone here that is a full time mum and cops this slack? Ppl dont relise that being a mum is a 24/7 job and that buy the time u add duties of being a mum and a wife we would be one of the highest payed people out! Plz i want to know i am not the only one that cops this.

 

natalia - April 6

Both husband and I work fulltime. We do swing shifts, he works in the morning, me at night. We take care of baby ourselves (no day care / sitter). For us, its like working 2 jobs. I'd love to be able to be stay-at-home mom like you, but we can't afford it. Pls consider yourself fortunate to be able to enjoy your baby fulltime :) Don't worry about what ppl think.

 

Jamie - April 7

Yeah, I get it all the time. Just because you don't work outside the home doesn't mean you don't work. I was in the army before I became a stay-at-home mom, and let me tell you, there are times where I would prefer being in the military, because it was easier! Then DH will come home and act like I've got it so easy because he had to deal with idiots who outrank him. Makes me want to smack him sometimes, because at least the idiots who outrank him can verbally tell him what they want - Serenity just screams and I've got to figure it out!

 

xXx-Lesley-xXx - April 7

It doesn't bothere me what people think. I've had people say to me "Oh you can go out and work when the kids are in nursery" Who are they to tell me what I can and can't do! I will go out to work when I feel ready, not when others think I should. I want to be there for the first years of my childrens lives. It only happens once, and you can never rewind and have another chance. Work will be there when the kids grow up, and are old enough to take care of themselves.

 

kristie h - April 7

Hi girls, thanks so i am not the only one that cops all this. Jamie i know what you mean, my husband works 10 hours a day and he walks in saying how tired he is "well welcome to my world" only i have to keep going till the moment my son goes to sleep then i still have house work to do like all us mums. XXX you think the way i do, i weighed up the pros and cons and came up with the same soultion as you did about not benable to wind back the clock. It has made me feel better that i am not the only one that goes through this thanks girls.

 

Leahp - April 7

I have to admit, I give all you ladies props!!! I'm a working mom, but because I have to, but if I had the choice to stay at home, I don't think I could do it!! I do have a great shift to where my little lady only has to be in daycare six hours and I get home by 1pm, but I have to be at work at 5am, so it still gives me the whole day with her, but that little break makes me appreciate her that much more! Plus, I wonder if I would be as happy staying at home, I've watched one of my friends go from a carefree, fun girl to an uptight miserable full time mom, and now her and hubby are having problems because she doesn't have her own money to go shopping, I just wondered if any of you are handling it better. Because I may stay home after we have our second and seeing my friend scared me :(

 

kristie h - April 7

Hi leahp, Well i am wait to have my 2nd baby b4 i go to work. My son is 15 months old and i have had two miscarriage since he was born and now i am ttc again. I wouldnt get scared off by your friend and you and your hubby might do things differently. My and hubby get my son minded for one night every three weeks and on every saturday night i feed my son the usuall time we have dinner then when he goes to bed that is when me and hubby have our dinner and indulge in each other company. We make time for each other in ways where it suits our routine but my son is in bed by 7pm the latest so that works good for us. As long as you make time for each other like similar to what i have done you should be fine. Good luck

 

Jamie - April 7

Honestly, I miss working, and am in the process of getting an in-home business going, so that I can have something to occupy my mind at least. I think you can minimize it, if you maintain human interaction, by doing playgroups and whatnot...I haven't had that opportunity, so my DH is the only human interaction I get. (Internet doesn't count!) It was really really hard making the adjustment at first, but he and I are working through it, plus planning and plotting this business is giving my mind stuff to do.

 

kr - April 7

That's right Kristie h, I'm another mom along with you. My husband keeps wanting to blame my mood and tiredness on PPD. It's hard fo him to realize anyone would be a little burned out if they quit their great 9 to 5 gig, for a 24 hour job (with absolutely no weekend or vacation time).

 

kristie h - April 7

Hi Kr, you said my point to a T. It is so nice that sumone thinks like i do.

 

YC - April 7

Kristie h let me just say that anyone who says that SAHMs aren't working obviously hasn't ever been a SAHM. I dont know what it is but it seems like as soon as you get pregnant people think that they can give you advice on any and everything whether you ask for it or not. At first it drove me crazy but I have learned to just let it go in one ear and out the other. My dd will be 16 weeks tomorrow. I went back to work 4 weeks ago and let me tell you being at work is much easier than taking care of a newborn. I admire all of you that do it full time!!! I can't really complain...I have a good set up. I get to do 3 days in the office and 2 days from home. It's a nice mix of adult interaction and time with my baby though most days I find myself sitting in my office distracted because I am staring at her pictures wishing I was home. As far as the hubby's go...I really don't think they will ever realize how hard it is. We're the mommy and our work is never done. That's just the way it is but it is still the best job in the whole wide world. My boyfriend is great about me having a few hours for myself once a week. When I come home after after going out to coffee or something he looks overwhelmed. I think that makes him appreciate what I do everyday. :)

 

kristie h - April 7

Hi Yc, You are right, the ppl that do make comments are the ones that have no children or they are preggnant. I have had things thrown in my face "Why dont you work night shift while my husband does day shif". We have worked it out he statrs work at 6am and finishes around 2-3 oclock, so if i did afternoon shift i would be stating at 3pm and finishing at 11pm go home have 5 hours asleep then back to it at 3pm. It would leave me no time for my husband and i will more then likley get frustrated with my son from being tired and i dont think money is worth alll that. I also think that the people who do say these comments say it with envy, like what i mean is that they know when they do have there child they would like to stay home but cant afford too due to buying a house ect. We will be buying a house when i do go to work which will be when i have my 2nd child and thats when i would be finished having kids. We cant afford me staying home but if i did work my whole pay will be on childcare so whats the point in that. It just p__ses me off that people think i should answer to them when its between me and my husband.

 

LisaB - April 7

I am a stay at home mom a full time job sounds like a vaction to me!!!

 

C - April 8

I remember while I was on maternity leave my hubby would act like I had it easy because I was not working. I felt like I was on vacation when I went back to work. Now that my son is on a schedule I don't think it would be quite as hard but it's still a full time job. Also, you don't have the fear everyday that the sitter is going to call you with some terrible news. My sitter has been a good friend for many years and I trust her 100%. I still have that fear everytime she calls me. One time my hubby stayed home with my son because he was sick and after 6 hours he called and asked if I could come home because he couldn't get anything accomplised. I said --really??? I agree, worry less about what other people think.

 

HANNAHs Mom - April 8

Raising a family is the most noble, rewarding and challenging profession out there! Kudos to all of us....SAHM/D, full-time and part-time workers alike! I have been on both sides of the fence...I worked ft until my first dd was 16 months and now I am at home with two dd's. I found the gra__s to always be greener on the other side. It is tough to juggle career & family and find the perfect balance and it is tough to be home with babies 24/7 without any downtime. I wouldn't trade anything not to be home but I am still searching for that happy medium. Being a stay-at-home-parent is hard work (much harder than I ever realized) and those that do it deserve respect...not slack.

 

HannahBaby - April 8

i know how you feel. People always are like "oooh" when i tell them that i am a stay at home mom. (like their job is more important) to me nothing is more important than raising your child. To the women who have to work to support their child, i commend them, but the women who CHOSE to go back to work because they dont want to give up their careers, unless you are saving the ozone layer or bring upon world peace, your job is useless compared to taking care of your own child.

 

Erin1979 - April 8

Hannahbaby; I wouldn't say that someone's job is "useless compared to raising your own child". I have enjoyed the last 7 months with my daughter, but I truly love my job, and I want to go back to work. Not only because I have to financially, but for my own sanity as well. Some women are just not cut out to be SAHM. I give everyone kudos for being able to do it, but I just feel that having some time apart allows us both to get to be individuals, socialize, and we enjoy eachother that much more when we get to spend time together. Just my point of view.

 

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