Totally OT Hardest Thing You Ve Ever Done

25 Replies
Ginny - June 23

What's the hardest thing you've ever been through? I think we all glean a little bit about each other's lives from our posts, but this is the most telling question anyone has asked me. The hardest time in my life was the year my grandmother, aunt, and cousin all died from seperate causes withing a 6 mo time period. I was 19 and it really floored me and made me take serious stock of my family and life. Next is the whole experience of becoming mommy - exhausting, yes, but also VERY rewarding. Anyone else?

 

Marlene - June 23

The hardest thing I've been through is just last week my big brother got killed on his motorcycle. It was one thing when our grandparents died but to lose a sibling is like losing a piece of you. I just look at my son and think he will never get to know his uncle but I know he is watching out for us. Their was 7 of us and I like to think there still is just one of is watching from up top. Also being a single mother but I wouldn't change that for the world. Aslo Ginny sorry you had all that lose in such a short time.

 

Annette - June 23

Marlene, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. Back to the topic, the hardest part for me was begging of this year when I was almost 9 months pregnant and my mom, who lives in other country, was diagnosed with b___stcancer and had a tumor removal surgery within 5 days. Dealing with all the emotions at the time, fearing for her and my baby, being so far away from my family and taking care of a newborn all by myself was terrible. It´s not over yet, but it´s getting better. Being a mother is by far the hardest thing I have done; I did many wild things before getting pregnant, but it´s a big emotional load thinking that I have the responsibility of a human being in my hands and that for the first time I will not be the one suffering the consequences of my mistakes.

 

psychology - June 23

Without doubt, the first two months of taking care of my daughter...with no sleep. When she started giving more feedback like smiles, everything was ok. Another thing was my written exam for becoming a psychologist...I was studying while pregnant and working full time......I pa__sed by one question ; )

 

Marlene - June 23

Annette thank you very much. How is your mother doing now?

 

Annette - June 23

She is doing great, Marlene, thank you! but it is still something I wouldn´t wish to anyone.

 

TCB - June 23

The hadest thing i have been though would have to be when my future BIL died in a car accident and when my friend Shauna was shot and killed by her older brother.

 

jess - June 23

i had a year where i had double hip replacement surgery (everything was soo hard to do before that), got into a car accident and had emerg surgery in icu, lost my granpa, seperated from my husband, and my business partner cleared out our bank account while i was in hospital and left me with all the bills!! the good thing is that every year since has seemed AWESOME.......by comparasin......and after that kind of pain i sure value my health and family everyday! and am soo blessd with my little one!!

 

SonyaM - June 23

I would say the hardest for me was having a miscarraige. It was such a schock and felt that a part of me was ripped out. Ithink it was hard too because we had been trying for a year and didn't have any other children yet. Sorry for everyone's losses. Loosing someone you love is just heartbreaking.

 

Nerdy Girl - June 23

The hardest time for me was the first two months or so of my son's life. We were having severe behavioral issues with our three year old at that time. Some of you might remember my posts about that. She would wake up and have three hour long tantrums in the middle of the night and totally trash her bedroom, dumping out drawers and breaking stuff. Then when the baby came she would poop and pee on the floor for attention, and she would also hit the baby. One time she even drew blood when she gashed his eyebrow with her nail! Having a newborn and being sleep deprived is stressful enough, but I was also dealing with my 3 year old's issues, had b___stfeeding thrush, had a c-section incision that did not close, and was toting around 60 extra pounds from the pregnancy. I was so overwhelmed and depressed. I could not stop crying and thought things would never be normal again. I even went to a post-partum depression specialist. Fortunately I did not have official "post partum depression". The counselor told me that anyone in my situation would be stressed and overwhelmed. She was right because as things settled down, my daughter's tantrums were fewer, my incision finally closed, I stopped b___stfeeding (I still sort of regret that, but that's another whole story!), and started losing some weight. I know that all sounds so trivial compared to some of the losses you all have experienced, but for me, the time I just described has been the serious low point of my life.

 

HANNAHs Mom - June 23

A few things come to mind...but I would have to say that losing my Mom to lung cancer back in 99' has been the most difficult for me. Now that I have 2 daughters I sometimes feel like I am going through the mourning process once again. There is so much I want to ask her and share with her and I obviously can't. I just hope that she is somewhere peaceful and smiling down on her grandchildren...

 

Shea - June 23

The hardest thing I've ever been through was my mother's attempted suicide when I was 16. That whole year was rough, she divorced my abusive stepfather, moved us 6 hours away to live with her sister, then went through many hospitalizations for depression, was on lots of medication where she didn't even know me, ending up on welfare because she lost her job & ex was a deadbeat. I had gone to my grandparents for the summer and one night my grandfather & I went to pick up fast food for dinner and when we came home my grandma was on the phone with the airline crying hysterically - my mother had overdosed and was not expected to make it through the night - there were no flights. I didn't have a driver's license yet and my grandparents were a wreck. My boyfriend was 16 also, but he just took charge - he just said lets go and drove us from VA to NJ that night - straight to the hospital. My mom was in pretty bad shape - but pulled through. The state had her commited to the state mental hospital for 3 months - when she got out she was very bitter for many years. Now, you would never beleive it to meet her. She will always have some issues, and has some slight brain damage from the overdose, but is otehrwise a very happy and normal person - her life is a complete turn around. Even though my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, I will always remember what he did for us and for his parents for not being mad, but instead proud of him. Sorry if this is sappy, but I started thinking about this topic and this all came flooding back. Lots of other hard things have happened since then, but it's somehow different as an adult.

 

SonyaM - June 23

Wow Shea. That is an amazing story. Your boyfriend at the time sounds like quite a young man. I bet he made some girl a wonderful husband and a great father to his children. Glad your mom recovered and is doing so well. Mental illness is such a hard disease. There is so much shame felt by the person that they very rarely reach out for help.

 

Dalinkwent - June 23

Killed someone in war. That was pretty difficult and traumatizing.

 

Narcissus - June 24

I was having severe, debilitating migraines that would last days. My occipital nerve was spasming and causing the migraines. I have it under control now but it was freakin awful. I used to put Aja in front of the tv bc I could not take care of him & dh needed to work. It was the worst time of my life. I did not know when or if they would go away. Finally I got a series of nerve blocks and have been free of headaches since. I look back & cannot believe how sick I felt...It was incomprehensible that I had to be alone with my son during the migraines. I don't know how I got thru it.

 

Marlene - June 24

Annette I'm happy to hear your Mother is doing great now!!

 

HannahBaby - June 24

The hardest thing ive ever been through is going on right now. My father was just diagnosed with bladder cancer, he had exploreatory sugery and it was decided that his bladder, prostate, and urethra all had to come out. Right now as we speak he is in St. Peters hosptial somewhat recovering. His surgery was monday and hes still in pretty rough shape. The hardest thing about the whole situation is that i miss him, I cant see him everyday because i have my daughter and cant bring her into a hospital full of germs and disease. I went and saw him on monday and it broke my heart to leave him lying in the hosptial bed, scared and alone. They think he may be coming down with an infection (i pray not) so it still may be weeks until he gets out of the hospital and can come home, then after that its most likely going to be a long road of recovery, chemo, and radiation. Thanks for listening

 

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