Unreasonable Scared But Need Help To Overcome Fear

7 Replies
kristina1980 - March 8

Hi, I am only 17 weeks pregnant. But I have question about infant care. I lived with a family that lost baby at 6.5 weeks. I know it sometimes happen and babies do die. I know it sounds weird but I am scared. I don't know why. But I have nobody I can talk about it except maybe a councelor. I know I am arleady overacting, and I told my dh to take CPR classes, and I know, I won't be able to leave my baby with anybody else until it's strong and big enough. My mother don't have understanding for my fear and tells me not to think about it. I can't stop worrying. Is anyone in similar situation, or any good advise would help.


Bonnie - March 8

I think this is completely normal. I felt the same way and it wasa actually worse after he was born. But we are their mothers, it is in our nature to protect them. Even now with Mason being a year old, I rarely leave him with my parents, lol. try to relax as best you can. You will do just fine with him and things will come natural to you. As for the scarier things that can happen, just realise that some things are out of your control and in life the best you can do is not dwell on your fears. :)


aurorabunny - March 8

This is very understandable, I felt/feel the same way and my son is 8 months old. Unforunately I agree with Bonnie that the worry is even worse after they are born. I used to tell my husband "I can't wait until this baby is born so I can stop worrying so much!" Man was I wrong...=) I think however the best steps that I take to counteract the fear is to go over all the preventative steps that you can take in your head. Like as far as your pregnancy you can tell yourself "I don't drink, I don't smoke or do drugs, I am eating well and resting and providing my baby a good environment to grow in and the rest is out of my hands." I know it's small comfort but I just have to remind myself that worrying over what is completely out of my control is a waste of my time and energy. The same goes for after your baby is born; you can remind yourself that you are following all the SIDS preventatives and doing the Back to Sleep program and so on and that is the best that any of us can do. I wish I could have gotten a little better control of my anxiety when my ds was first born because instead of sleeping when he did, I stayed up to watch him breathe until I turned into an exhausted train wreck. I wouldn't recommend that to anyone!! If you want to you can e-mail me at cementblueATyahooDOTcom. Sorry to write so much but I have wasted a lot of my pregnancy/early months of my son's life with anxiety and wish I had had someone to tell me to relax and enjoy the simple moments. Also the CPR cla__ses are a great idea....good for everyone to know and I think it will actually ease some of your worries as you would know what to do god forbid you did ever need to use it. Good luck.=)



Worrying is a part of motherhood I've quickly learned. Whenever my husband and I go anywhere one of us always sits in the back with the baby.(just in case) I worry about a lot of things too, I have never left dd with anyone other than my mother and that is to run a quick errand and ofcourse dh. I think its normal and I am starting to relax. We all just do the best we can.


kristina1980 - March 9

Thank ladies for all the responses, I guess the thing is I don't have anybody to talk to. Even though my best friend is pregnant too (around 10wks) I just don't want to put my worries on her, since she seems so fine. So far, I know I am not doing anything to harm the baby, I have very healthy diet, no smoke, no drink, enought sleep, event the doc said everything looks great. Well I guess I have to stop more often on this infant care forum to see I am not alone freaking out. Thanks again.


LollyM - March 9

I felt that way too. I was almost ready for tragedy because I was so paranoid about it. I had a plan for every situation! Just try to take a deep breath and have faith that everything happens for a reason. While It's true that things do happen, most of the time babies are born healthy and grow up to be strong little tykes =) Try meditating or prayer if you find that helpfull. It is important to relax because the baby can feel your stress. Good luck and I'm looking forward to seeing you join us here!


julieB - March 9

I was terrified that something would happen to my son before he was born.. I was especially worried about SIDS... I had nightmares.. The best thing to do is just take it easy .. it is not good for you to worry anyway.. Think positive and everything should be all right.. my ds in almost 1.. and he is just fine.. Good luck on your pregnancy Kristina.


jolou - March 9

kristina, you say you don't want to share with your best friend as she seems fine - maybe she feels the same way as you, but thinks you seem fine! You could trythe subject with her gently. Asking if she's really worried about stuff too, if she says yes, share away, if she says no, and you don't want to start her worrying just say about how you are going to cope with the baby, or the changes it may cause in yours and dh's relationship. I think all mothers and mothers to be worry though - it just shows how much you're going to love your baby.



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