Upset And Need Help

4 Replies
amberC - January 28

my dd is almost 7 weeks now. she is a good baby so i have no trouble at night but my df doesnt do anything! he has only changed 2 diapers since she was born and prob only fed her 4 times! i dotn work and i dont go to school right now but i just feel a little overwhelmed. i have ppd so i was put on meds but i still feel upset! and then to make things worse we live with my inlaws. which is good for me whereas my future mil helps me out when she can but we are soon moving and i dont know if we can afford it. we use government help but it still isnt enough. and then to pay for land and a house! what am i supposed to do. and on top of that pay for a wedding! then my df is hoping to go back and work with a previous employer so he will be staying away for 3-5 days at a time! how will i cope living alone and planning a wedding and taking care of dd all alone! any advice please!! :(

 

BriannasMummy - January 28

Oh gracious that all sounds so very overwhelming. I kind of know what you are going through. My dh also has to work all day and I basically see him for about 3 hours a day.. so he isnt that much of a physical help with my 7 week old dd. Even people without ppd would be overwhelmed by everything that is going on your life! What I think you need to do is try to take things one at a time, and not overload your thoughts with all of these things to come. Perhaps, what you should do is take your df aside and have a long talk about all of these things that are bothering you. During that conversation, hopefully you and he can come up with some solutions to make these things easier on you. Try to keep your chin up!! ~Kristin~

 

Lalla - January 29

I understand if you are overwhelmed! If i were you, I would take df to the justice of the peace and have a civil ceremony. If you already have a dress you can still wear it! Bring the 10 closest family and friends and then go for dessert afterwards to celebrate. I would save the money you would have spend on a wedding to use towards moving out to your own place. Are there any other job opportunities that your df can do instead of the one where he is away? Also don't worry about your df not changing diapers - my dh took his sweet time as well - the first time he changed a poop diaper he gagged!! Now he changes diapers like he is a pro! Guys are sometimes just a little weired out about babies - especially if they haven't had much experience with babies before. good luck to you!

 

Lalla - January 29

I forgot to say that when things are tough, the key is to simplify!!

 

sophandbob - January 29

I agree with lalla. TAke things one step at a time and space stuff out. Put your wedding off for a year - or do a low key ceremony and then have it blessed and do a big affair maybe on your 5th anniversary. Could you not stop with you in laws for a while longer? Or ask your mil if she thiks her son's level of involvment is enough.

 

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