Well We Have Decided

26 Replies
ashtynsmom - February 22

Ashtyn will be an only child. I am happy, and I am sad. We have debated for a while whether or not we want another child. We finally decided last night to just stick with the perfection God gave us, and not push our luck!! We are so blessed to have such a perfect angel. She is so smart and beautiful, and I just can't imagine sharing my time with another baby. I know what everyone says... you will love the next just as much... but I am not willing to find out. I just wnat my baby girl, and I want to give my all to her. I feel guilty as it is that I am a full time working mom, and don't get to see her as much as I would like... I really don't want to take anymore time away from her than I already have to. We are selling all of her baby stuff, so if anyone needs anything let me know!!! I guess that is when it finally HIT me... I put an ad out today for her stuff.... that makes it more real that I won't have anymore. BUT this is my choice, and I feel it is best for us. Just wanted to share.... Thanks for listening!

 

SonyaM - February 22

I wish I could be that decisive. I change my mind every other day. I already have two but would really like three, just not sure if it's right for us. Good luck.

 

Mellissa - February 22

I'm glad you are happy with the choice you made! Are either you or your husband getting "fixed", or are you just using another form of birth control. No reason, I'm just curious. :) I have pretty much made up my mind that 2 is enough for us, but dh said the other day, "I just don't see you NOT getting pregnant again." I told him he better try his hardest to envision it. lol. But you never know, I'm only 25...and I don't know how I'll feel, 2, 3, 5, 10 years from now! :) Ashtyn is a very lucky girl to have parents like you, who love her as much as you do. Good luck with everything!!

 

Heather F - February 22

how ild is your dd, are you selling her clothes?

 

LisaB - February 22

Congrats that is such a hard decision, we toss around when to have another all the time and its a tough call. I love decidng on something and moving on-its refreshing isn't it

 

ashtynsmom - February 22

Ashtyn is 13 mos old. Yes, we will be getting rid of EVERYTHING.... to make room for her new stuff!! :)

 

mcatherine - February 22

I made the decision that Hayes would be our only child. He's now 11. His little brother is 6 months...hehehe!! It's ok - if you ever change your mind - you can buy all new stuff like I did :o) (On a personal note - I really love our second child, but I truly loved having an only child for as long as I did. You'll love it, too!)

 

ashtynsmom - February 22

I just want to give her the world. I want her to have every chance and opportunity available to her and I feel I can better do that if all my focus is on her. I am an " all or nothing" personality, so this will work best for us, I think. You are right though mcatherine.... I can always change my mind say 10 years down the road!!! :)

 

mosley12 - February 22

aww. ive thought about only having one, but i just cant do it. i want atleast 2. if the next is a girl, we'll probably stop, but if its a boy, there will be a third.

 

jas - February 22

:) I couldn't help but smile when I read this. That's exactly what we said and those are the exact reasons. All I can say is never say never. Nathan is 12 yrs and Jadon is 10 months :)

 

Erynn21 - February 22

I have been debating this myself, I said before Nora was born that she would probably be an only, then after she was born I had temporary insanity and felt like I needed another baby. Now really happy w/ my little family and just don't know. I mean I didn't know if I even wanted a baby, now I have her, so I guess we'll see.

 

srigles - February 22

I've been wondering about our situation as well.... My husband would love another baby, but I always wanted just one child, but now that I have Keegan, I could see myself with another, but I still only want one, and.... ARGH! Guess I don't have to make any decisions yet, but it's still frustrating! Congrats on making your decision - you must feel better!

 

bradylove - February 22

First of all I respect your choice and your decision but I have to tell you something and it's not to make you feel bad but just the perspective of an only child. My mother told me those exact things when I asked her why she did not have any more children after me. But here's how I have felt about it. Yes, they were able to give me every opportunity in the world because they didn't have any other children, but what they didn't give me was the opportunity to have a sibling and to experience that relationship that I feel is so important to have. Sometimes I resent my parents for making that decision for reasons that are not selfless. As an adult I now crave those familial links that my husband has with his siblings (he has 5). I think that may also be part of the reason I chose him so that I would have the large family experience. This is sad but i would rather spend the holidays with his family than with mine, all I have is my parents... It has made me want many children. Ever since I can remember I've always said that if I have kids I will make certain I have more than one. On the positive side, I'm ambitious, although a bit of an overachiever and extremely opinionated. My relationship with my parents now is love-hate...they have no one else to love/push their beliefs on but me so it's a lot of pressure. I'm sure not every only child with agree with what I've said, but it's something to think about.

 

Kara H. - February 22

Bradylove - I can relate to what you are saying. I'm not an only child, but my only sis is 11 years older than me (and a little nuts). We have never had anything in common - ever. I don't feel that I missed out a bit on the sibling rivalry that exists between my hubby and his sisters. But what I do feel bad about is that Max won't have any cousins to grow up with on my side of the family. My sister's boys are 19 and 16. One of my husband's sisters just had a baby who is 5 months younger than Max, but Chris doesn't get along with that sister and they live out of state, so I doubt they will see much of each other. My dad came from a large family, and I had 6 cousins that were within 5 years of my age. We had so much fun and the holidays were really something to look forward to. I feel bad Max won't have that.

 

Erynn21 - February 22

Well I am an only child and I can say I don't believe it was detrimental to me, my dh is from a huge family he's #6 of 7, do I feel like he had it better than me growing up? No, I don't, I don't think he had it worse either. I think that for you and your family you have to make your own decisions. bradylove you want a big family, that's great, but , some ppl only want a small family others a large one, I personally like mine just the way it is right now. My SIL is having baby #6 and she's happy with her decision. My husband has his siblings, but honestly we are closer to our friends then our family(and we are close w/ many of his siblings). I know how it is because I am an only child, also. For me I want to give my dd the attention I didn't completely get w/ my parents, they were there, but were young I spent a vast amount of time at my baby-sitters who's family was like my family. I guess I just wanted to say not all only's feel the way you do.

 

piratesmermaid - February 22

Yeah, I've been thinking about this as well. I was an only child for 13yrs, and hubby only had one older sister but would love a big family, so I dunno. Sometimes I want another one and sometimes I just want Gretchen. I'm so indecisive! I'll let God deside. ;)

 

ashtynsmom - February 23

I made this decision based on the fact that I am an only child myself. I have no regrets. Yes, sometimes I wish I would have had someone growing up, but now, at this age, I look back and see that I wouldn't have been given as many opportunities and had my parents at EVERY function I ever attended if I had to share their time with a sibling. I have nothing against large families, I just feel it is not for me. Sometimes I think I want another one, and as AAWEFUL as this will sound... I want to be pregnant again, but I dont' want another child. Anyone know what I mean? I loved being preggo and will miss not having that, but I just want to devote myself completely and 100% to my daughter. I want to be at her every function in school, I want to give her my undivided attention when I get home from work, I want to spend all of my money on making her wishes come true. These are decisions I have made, after MUCH MUCH thought... and at least for right now... that seems to work for me. DH is supportive of my decision, as well, and tells me it is up to me. I do understand what you mean about holidays- but I think since I didn't grow up around a large family, I am not used to the hustle and bustle. After a few hours at my DH's family's holiday functions, I am ready to pull my hair out. I want intimate conversation and games, and fun times- not chaos. I think I am just a stranger to that whole thing, and therefor do not want it for myself. I want the small intimate gatherings at holidays, and not the free for all chaos that his family has with 20 people in one room!!! WHEW!!

 

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