Were You Jealous When A Family Member Announced A Baby

20 Replies
kellens mom - January 22

I have 4 brothers. At the time that I became pregnant, only one had a child. My nephew was 14 yrs old and he had always been the apple of grandma's eye. Now that he is a teen, he does not have time for grandma. I was so excited that she could now spend time douting of our bundle of joy. She could visit us...instead of always going to see my nephew. I would get to have company come visit me in a place where I have no family ties. Finally...a reason for folks to visit ME! Four months later, my brother announced that he was going to have another child (with his soon-to-be wife). I became incredibly jealous because they are closer to mom so I feared that she would now have 2 reasons to go visit them instead of me. As it turns out, my sil does not like to "share information" with my mom about how the baby is doing, so my mom feels no major ties to my neice. I wonder if someone (like my dad) told my brother about my jealousy. Maybe this would explain why they are not making a big deal out of my neice. If that is the case, I feel bad for telling anyone how I felt because now my mom does not really feel connected to my brother's new family. I feel selfish now...

 

Erynn21 - January 22

I was, but only because my dh's family is a giant baby making machine(Nora is grandkid #22), and we hadn't had any children yet, so I really desired to be the pregnant princess. Then when my hubby and I decided to ttc my SIL announces she's pregnant w/ baby #4 and the worst thing was my dh's brother was less than thrilled to have another kid. I had a bit of a tizzy because I was like of course we wait 10 years to have a baby then somebody else of course has to get pg, it can't just be special to me. I got over it, and now of course I am so happy that Nora has a cousin the same age and they will be in school together because we live in a small area, oh yeah and my BIL got over being upset and of course is in love w/ his son. Now Nora is the youngest for about 10 months until another SIL has baby #6 and then another has #4. Also before all of this I got jealous of my best friend when she announced she was expecting and my dh and I were having issues because I had baby fever and he was freaked out. I got really bummed to find out she was having a baby and I thought I never would my hubby finally asked what was wrong and we had a big heart to heart. Anyway then we decided to ttc, I get pregnant and my friend has a m/c, needless to say I felt pretty bad about being jealous, then it took her 8 months to get pg again. I just know from my own experience I usually end up feeling bad(and stupid) for being jealous. You never know your Mom could feel hurt too because your brother (and his new family) are not having them in her life, she probably feels hurt. I know in my case my MIL is closer to us than my BIL and SIL so she is incredibly happy about her granddaughter, and her grandson, well she doesn't get to see him that much because of his parents. So maybe she feels hurt by their actions. Hope this helps.

 

Erynn21 - January 22

I just read that and I said of course, about 4x's, that's funny.

 

EMBERBABY - January 22

My lo is the youngest grandbaby therefore she is the one getting the most attention the next youngest is 3 years old so my lo being 4months old steals the spotlight. Specially because she puts on a show for people, gigling, cooing, the whole nine. Her picture is on both grandparent's desktop computer. Relatives are always sending toys and clothes and she LOVES the attention. But yes I probably WILL be jealous when someone else announces a pregnancy.LOL

 

piratesmermaid - January 22

I'm not jealous (yet!) but I do feel a bit..er..competative in a way. My only SIL had her daughter 5 yrs ago, so Gretchen is the second grandchild, and second granddaughter on my hubby's side. So in a weird way I want to have the first boy on that side, and even though it's probably not going to happen (my SIL is ttc now, and we won't be again until this coming fall) I'll be jealous if they have a boy first.

 

EMBERBABY - January 22

piratesmermaid, me too!! no boys on hubby's side and I want to have the first boy! But lo is only 4 months and I don't feel by body (or my mind) is ready for a pregnancy this soon. SIL is considering to try for another baby his other 2 siblings are not married or have a partner so I am sooooo hoping the 1st boy is mine.LOL how old is your lo?

 

piratesmermaid - January 22

6months old. But I'd like to finish school before we have another one (I'm soooo close to finishing!) so that's why we're waiting until Nov. or Dec. of this year before we start ttc again.

 

ssmith - January 22

I was horribly jealous when my sis-in-law (DH's brother & wife) announced she was pregnant. I was so desperate to have a baby, but didn't think it was going to happen. She was married first, and then got pregnant first. She had the first grandchild for my in-laws. Her DS is 19 months now, and my DD is almost 9 months. He is still the favorite grandchild, it's pretty obvious....and I am a bit hurt and mad that my mom and dad-in-law aren't making more of an effort to bond with my DD. My mom and dad-in-law baby sat sis-in-law's kid since he was a couple of months old....so naturally they saw him 2-3 times a week. They have since moved too far to babysit my DD.....which I am REALLY upset about too. Sis-in-law got free babysitting by the grandparents for like a year.....and my DD will have to go to daycare. Yeah....I'm SO bitter!! I did have the girl though LOL I know that sis-in-law wants another baby very soon.....so I will be jealous again when she gets pregnant and has baby #2. I don't like that part of myself that gets so jealous and spiteful.....but I can't seem to help myself.

 

maryl14 - January 22

i'm jealous i have been pregnant 3 times each with twin but i lost one in each set i have never been the only one pregnant in my family infact with my 1st pregnancy my cousin annouced she was pregnant i wasn't jealous at first but then i found out 7 month into our pregnancies she had miscarried at 2 1/2 months and she wasn't pregnant anymore but she was still telling our family so she got all the family heirlooms and i got none then with my twin sister and me were pregnant atthe same time only a month and a half difference and then with my son me and my older sister were pregnant i delivered on dec 31st she's due feb 27th each time i was over shadow by others so i understand what your saying its hard not to be jealous now i'm not having anymore but i'm happy all my children have close age cousins

 

Robyn212006 - January 22

Im jealous this time around and I was with my first too. My dh's side of the family has lots of kids but its like when we announce we are having a baby theres always someone else in his family thats having one too. My sil found out she was pregnant a month after we did. She had a high risk pregnancy so I wasnt jealous of her and Im glad everything turned out for her, but I was disappointed when no one from my dh's side of the family came to see me except his brother and that was only because he broke his leg earlier that week and was already at the hospital at the time. We also announced this pregnancy about 3 weeks ago and no my dh's cousin is pregnant too and shes 3 weeks behind me so I feel like everyone has taken my spotlight away. I know its childish but Im only having 2 kids and this is my last time for the excitment. I guess I should just get over it and be happy for myself and not care if anyones excited with us.

 

ash2 - January 22

Well i must say that i am probably the one that people in my family are MOST jealous of. Let me explain.....i am the baby of the family for one, so me having a baby is a biggie because my siblings were pretty much my parents for lots of years "hence" my parents divorce. Well my sister had her first child of the family and savannah was the big thing for a while ( i was only 15 ) . Then my brother had his, and 1 year later they got divorced. Well then my other brother was married for like 9 years and they had their first child but they lived a long ways away, and shortly after that they got divorced. So we have my oldest sister who has the oldest and is divorced, then my other brothers who are divorced and one lives far away. Well i have 2 new sister n laws that cant stand the fact that i have both of my children by the same father and have been married the whole time ! My brothers and sister cater to me ( i didnt want it that way, its just i am the baby of the family ) It just has been like that since my parents got divorced. My siblings took care of me. And when i had children, it was just the topping on the ice cream. My sil's cant stand the fact that i am my grandmothers favorite and my kids gets all of her attention. Not to mention my mom too. So i can see where jealousy would spark for them. Oh yeah...and it does help too that my children are half asian and have certain differences of them that the other children dont. !

 

Rabbits07 - January 22

I posted something similar to this recently. My sister is preg now and with her youngest being 13 it was the big family news. What bothered me more really was not so much her being preg...I was happy for her.....it was that everyone was so excited for her and with my last few pregnancies it was like, oh, you're having another one? Then to top it off she found out she was having a girl. My last 3 have been boys and her only two are boys....my youngest dd is the last girl to be born and she is 12 so having a girl is an even bigger deal. I am really happy though and have been going pink buying crazy at the store, but there is that bit of jealousy there.

 

ash2 - January 22

I also wanted to add that i am a little jealous of my new SIL. She is the new addition and getting lots of attention ! Cant wait to see what the shout will be about when their baby comes !

 

AnytimeLittleone - January 22

It took me 3 years to conceive dd. During that 3 year period, there was 3 children born (SIL and BIL's), Everytime they announced a pregnancy I was insanely jealous... well.. that.. and also had the sensation to curl up into a ball for days and cry. But yes, was definately VERY jealous, and sometimes acted snotty because of it.

 

EricaG - January 22

I was really upset when my step-sister announced that she was pregnant. Our parents married when we were 15 and she has been copying me ever since. The day that I broke up with my ex boyfriend she called him and asked him out (they're now married), When I got engaged and set a date, she decided that she wanted to get married AND when she heard what day I was getting married she whined "that was the day I wanted!" So she settled for two weeks after my wedding. When I announced I was pregnant she said "I want a baby too!" and was pregnant 2 months later. Ugh it is just so annoying. It's like whenever the spotlight's on me she can't stand it so she has to copy me. Even when I was sick in the hospital after the birth of my baby she was mad when my step-dad came to see me. She was like "So, I hear you -rushed- to Erica's bedside!" Well I was upset because they live closer to our parents and I was afraid her daughter would be the favorite because of it. But she's a wierdo like she always has been so they don't see her much anyway. Wow, I didn't realize other people were jealous too, I thought it was just a fault of mine, lol.

 

kellens mom - January 22

Rabbits, now that you mention your situation, I remember a bit of your post. I guess at the time I didn't relate it to my circ_mstance. Now I can see a connection more easily. My over all dilema is that now I am not jealous, but I feel like maybe my brother may not be 'shouting from the roof tops' with joy because he does not want to hurt his sister's feelings. If that is the case, I would feel terrible for being immature (which I was...d__n that is hard to admit!) I don't know that he knows about my jealousy, so it could also be that his wife just feels no connection to my mom - hence there is no need to call mom to let her know about all the wonderful new things happening in a day. Anyway, when I started this topic, I was trying to figure out how I could get my brother to include our mother in their lives more (now that I am not the jealousy queen). Mom called a few minutes ago. She was happy as a lark because my brother had called her so that she could hear his daughter cooing. She was thrilled to pieces! I am happy that they included her. So I guess all is well and I don't need to fret over it. She sounded so excited to me that I am sure she shared her enthusiasm for the cooing with them. If in the future they do not call to "share" - I think it is their problem and not something I initiated. Thanks for helping me think this through.

 

jokes123 - January 23

Yes I know how you feel, my son is the first grand child on my husbands side and they just totally adore him. My mom has 4 grand children but my sister got pregnant right after I had my son and I did feel jealous a bit but not as jealous as I am going to feel when one of brother in laws have a baby. I think about it a lot. It's kind of stupid but I am also afraid that if a new baby does come they won't have time for my son anymore.

 

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